How to Get More Flexibility in Your Life

On a previous article, I gave some productivity tips for ADHDers, and one of those tips was work toward more flexibility in your life. I figured that warranted its own article, because advice like instill more flexibility in your life is much easier said than done. You might need some ideas.

How does one go about doing that?

Well, for starters, it will be a bit of a trial and error. You will have to find your own groove, but I've got a few tips that might get your gears turning.

Work part-time or on seasonal jobs.

I work three or four days a week (as a nanny) and the rest of the time, I can explore my other interests and have plenty of time for housework and relaxation. Luckily, I live with my partner, so there is less pressure to provide a huge income, but I also do some freelance work from my computer and have my own business ventures that I am trying to develop when I am not with kiddos. A note on living with someone else so you don't have as big of a financial burden: before I lived with my partner, I was a live-in nanny, stayed with family, lived in a hostel where I worked, and other alternative arrangements. You might have to get creative, downsize or make other adjustments so you are less pressed financially and can dedicate more time to hobbies, housework, your own projects, creating passive income or coming up with other ways to make your life work. For example, maybe you could dog-sit or house-sit, or drive Uber. You could try 10 hours a week as a virtual assistant, in addition to an in-person part-time job. It all depends on your skills, interests, resources and availability.

Get help / support.

If you are alone and especially if you are a parent, you need help. Very few of us can keep up with the high demands for earing a lot of income while also managing our households, getting enough rest, and pursuing hobbies that make us happy / keep us balanced. Whether you have to sign up for state assistance to get help with childcare, trade tasks with someone else that you know, or otherwise get creative for how to lighten your workload, keep trying to work flexibility into your life. You can arrange for someone to watch your kids on Thursdays and offer to clean their house on Monday morning while they're in school. Or alter their clothes, make them homemade dinners they can reheat, or offer any other form of trading support services. People are often up for lightening their own load AND helping you with yours if it's not more trouble than it's worth. Find out what they need and provide support to get support.

Designate certain days of the weeks to focus areas.

This works better for me than trying to schedule everything down to the hour, because sometimes I get sidetracked, don't feel up for it, or have something else pop up. I have a goal to blog once a week, so I designate Sundays for blogging. I also want to write more, so I should designate one or two evenings a week to writing. Stick to day- or half-day blocks and make it as simple as possible. If I designate Tuesday evening to writing, then I have from around 6 pm to probably 10 pm, and since I know beforehand that I will spend my evening writing, or at least trying to, I will plan my dinner accordingly, knowing beforehand what I will make and checking that I have all the ingredients. I won't turn on the tv or if I do put it on while I eat, I will turn it off when I'm finished. It might take me a while to get in the mood to write, and actually, it could fail to work entirely, but I have designated that time to trying, so I won't end up putting it off for weeks because I got distracted by something else. It also works as a placeholder, so if earlier in the week, I actually feel like writing and have inspiration, I can probably swap my Tuesday focus for my Thursday focus and still reach all my goals while flexing to my needs.

Organize your home so that you can work best.

Generally, I prefer not to get right to work in the morning. I like to enjoy the peace and calm that morning brings; take my time drinking coffee, do a bit of journaling, stuff like that. Around 10, I start on some housework while thinking about my goals for the day, and then the rest of the day, I work (expect when I am breaking for meals). This means that by the time my partner gets home and starts talking to me, watching tv, cooking dinner and otherwise being distracting, I am still working.. On a relaxed day, I break, have dinner and talk to him about his day, and while he relaxes in the evening, I can sit at my desk in the living room and be near to him, but still get some things done.

The desk in the living room is something new; an idea borrowed from my mother who always had her craft / scrapbook table in the family room. It came about because I was always working those evenings from my laptop on the couch. I wanted to spend time with my sweetie, but it was really too near the tv (too distracting) and I would sink too far into the cushions, so I was unmotivated, wouldn't get much done at all, and then I would beat myself up that I was unproductive for almost the whole day. Since I put the small desk next to the couch, far enough away but still near enough to blow a kiss, receive a cup of tea from him, and generally be in the vicinity / be somewhat present, I've achieved more work-life balance. Besides, some tasks are nicer to do in front of the tv; mindless things like uploading files, sorting pictures, deleting stuff, or anything else that doesn't need my full attention. Working in the living room makes them more bearable.

Know what you need.

Get in tune with your work style and what is going to work best for you. Don't judge yourself for preferring to work at 2 a.m., don't get hung up on the fact that you're not up at normal hours or do things the normal way. This is also why getting help is important, and it goes hand in hand with knowing what you need. They really work in congruence with one another. You can't arrange your schedule in the best way that suits you unless you know what you need, and this is learned from trial and error.

On another note, what I mentioned earlier about organizing your home to fit your needs is also relevant here. Sometimes when my partner comes home from work I am right in the middle of a very productive moment. In that case, I have another room in the house that I can use that does not have a tv, is not on the same floor as the living room and more social areas of the house, and I can be alone there and stay in my groove. Because I know that I need to stay focused and ride that wave, I communicate that to him so he can respect it and support me in that.

Communicate

With more project work, more short-term work, and unconventional organizational methods for your life, communication is going to be pivotal. You'll have to be able to say, "I'm not going to make the deadline because this, this and this happened." or "I am only available on Tuesdays and Wednesdays," and you will have to do so without apologizing, making yourself feel guilty, or going over the top to explain that to people. Find a clear and concise way to get the message across and help others understand the way you work. Don't let them change you or tell you what you know best about yourself (unless they are a trusted mentor), but allow them in to see why you do this and that and what your boundaries are.

That's all I have for now, but I might update or add more later!

I hope you found these tips useful. Please feel free to reach out to me on twitter @alisontalks or leave a tip if you're able.

Best wishes!

Alison