How I Completely Changed My Life In Three Months

Wake up. Coffee. Burn incense. Light a candle. Pray. Give thanks. Meditate. Draw cards. Journal. Reflect.

Every morning is the same. I awaken to the sound of the coffee pot brewing that sweet nectar of the gods, and sit up when my partner brings me a cup of coffee in bed. After drinking at least one cup, I get up and walk over to my altar to light my incense and my candle. Good morning, Goddess, I say to myself as I light the candle, and smile. I sit for as long as I feel is needed to give thanks, center myself and my energy, and meditate before pulling the tarot cards for the day. I ask for guidance with what I call the shadow work card of the day, then reflect on the card’s meaning and journal about my thoughts and feelings. From there, I pull the daily reading of three cards and reflect much in the same way as the first card, writing about the meaning and gaining an interpretation that I will later share on my business page. Each day, this routine helps me find my inner peace in so many ways.

There was a time not that long ago that I felt completely disconnected from a Higher Power, and I felt as if I was just going through the motions of my life. My inner life felt like a mess, but on the outside I was holding it together. I had been seeking help for my mental health, and while I was seeing some progress, it was not moving forward as I had hoped. This was during the time that my partner decided to leave to stay in a monastery for three months, fulfilling a lifelong dream of his while seemingly wrecking my world. Of course I was excited for him, but we had never been apart for longer than four days, and I was losing it even though he had not left yet. This disruption caused me to seek new spiritually centered mentors and advisors to dive deeply into who I truly was and who I didn’t want to be anymore. During that three months that he was gone, I focused on myself and my inner wellness for the first time in a long time.

Before creating my new routine, I sat and thought about how I had gotten to this place of disconnection and found a lot of lack. I used to journal all the time, but I had stopped at some point. I used to meditate and pray every day, but that had fallen off as well. I used to dance every day of my life, and I suddenly realized I hadn’t danced in at least a year. My bookshelf was covered in unread books that I had previously promised myself to read. What had happened to me? Where did the real me go? And how the hell could I get her back? I could clearly see how lost I had been for such a long time, and how it was time to find myself again.

The three months my partner was gone became my time to reconnect with myself. I created a new morning routine, starting with journaling every day, and meditating for at least five minutes a day. At first, these new habits were difficult to stick with, but after a few weeks, became second nature for me. I started to extend the time I would meditate from five minutes to up to thirty minutes and could see how this practice led to a more centered Self throughout my day. My journaling developed more of a shadow work vibe as I dove headfirst into what I will always refer to as my most recent dark night of the soul. These habits allowed me to see myself for who I truly was, without the obligations or suggestions of others, and see how I could continue to show up for and be myself every day. I began reading more often, particularly regarding mental health recovery and spiritual wellness, and utilized the suggestions from these books to further my progress. After I became comfortable with this routine, I added dancing and yoga to my new routine, which helped me feel more comfortable and strong in my body. I began to see how these little habits were changing my life in big, unexpected ways.

Throughout this process, I began connecting with women who would help me change my life. I signed up for a leadership course, reached out and received reiki and psychic readings from two of my favorite women in this world, and reconnected with an online friend in a deeper, more meaningful way by becoming a mentor student of hers. These women were my lifelines and anchors during this time, always providing guidance and direction on how to help myself heal. I also reached out to my closest friends more often during this time and found deeper connections within our friendships that have carried over since. These relationships quite literally saved my life, and their guidance has helped me reach new levels of self-awareness as well as a new understanding of what the word love really means.

I also began to notice a deeper connection to the tarot cards I pulled for myself each day as I connected to my True Self and disconnected from my Role Self with these new habits. The messages seemed to type themselves when I shared them instead of struggling to find the words as I would previously. I would receive signs daily that I was being guided and cared for by something or someone from beyond: my Higher Power, the Creatrix, my Goddess. This deeper connection along with suggestions from my mentor caused me to recreate my tarot business and put myself out there in a way I never had, thereby creating Empress of Wands. I was scared, but knew this was important for some reason, so I took the leap, and I was met with more support than I ever expected. The magic that I thought I had lost during my most recent mental health battle had returned tenfold, and I was beyond stoked. I promised myself to never lose this connection again.

This routine has helped me find my sanity again: mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually. In my case, it took a big event to wake me up to what was missing in my life, but it doesn’t have to be that way. For me, the event that I thought was shattering my world was really rebuilding it in a way I could have never imagined. I will be eternally grateful for my experiences that winter as they forced me to focus on what is most important in my life: my True Self and my connection to Spirit.

I sought a deeper connection, and I found it. Now it’s your turn.