Buy or Rent in today's economy

I've been a renter all my adult life. I've never had a mortgage. I'm 53 years old and I started paying rent in 1989. The past six years I've been unemployed and on SSD, so I've been a "moocher" living free at somebody else's expense. It's not as great as it sounds. I feel like I'm in the way, that I can't contribute or carry my own weight, and I'm constantly looking for validation of the efforts I make to show my appreciation. Was he grateful that I did the dishes or mopped the floor or took the garbage out or washed the laundry or cleaned the bathroom or made the bed? Did any of that help me "earn my keep"? It's like being a wife without the benefit of the title. Like renting a car. Yeah, it's nice I don't have to worry about the payments and repairs, but I still have to put gas in the car. I still have to drive carefully. And after all the money I spend for renting it, I have to return the car when the rental period is over. Is that really worth it?

I was looking over some of my older articles that I had posted at allpoetry.com and came across this honest piece: https://allpoetry.com/column/17320316-Credit-Failure-s-Silver-Lining-by-Shanon-Norman

After re-reading it I have more to say on the matter, specifically in regards to my opinion on rent versus mortgage. Let me repeat, I've never had a mortgage. Furthermore, I've never paid my 50k student loan back. I've had three car loans that I didn't finish and returned the car because of it. I only ever completed paying for one car loan (on a Honda CRV) and that was with the help of my husband while we were in the height and strength of our marriage. Besides that I've always been all alone and on my own and my credit score reflects that. The economy and the system is not designed for single people to succeed. The most successful people in the world were married and used that marriage deal to the best of their financial savvyness. I've never met a person with a perfect credit score who was single their entire life. Never.

Here I am now at the age of 53. Though I collect SSD for the "disability" of mental illness (diagnosed Bipolar) there are many people including psychologists who think I'm highly functioning and capable of working and holding a job. Some are trying to help me to find a good job so that I can transition off of SSD and be self-sufficient. That would be a nice change from the past 30 years of having to depend on other people or the government. For me, having a job that could sustain my own home and car would be the epitome of success. That's never happened for me in 53 years.

I bring up this personal story before I discuss the pros and cons of renting versus a mortgage because if I do heal enough to be the kind of success I'm talking about, I'm going to have to make a decision about that. Will I continue to be a renter or will I finally get a mortgage? It seems a bit late in the "game" at my age to think about a mortgage, right? I mean by the time I finish paying it, I'll be close to the typical end of life age. That's not the focal point though. It's not about whether I live long enough to finish paying the mortgage. It's about the differences a person experiences in the home as a renter or as a "homeowner".

I know for certain all of the pros and cons about being a renter. On the plus side, with a good caring landlord, renting has perks. For example, if the refrigerator or air conditioner breaks, the landlord is responsible to fix or replace it. That's good. I already have to pay the rent so I don't want or need that extra expense. Another nice facet of renting is if you have an apartment at a luxury complex. They may have amenities like a gym (which would save you from having to purchase a membership) and a swimming pool (which would save you from having to get a hotel room or pay for parking just to go the beach). You don't have to go the laundromat either because most of the time, apartments either come with a washer and dryer or at least provide their own laundry room. Those are the nice things about renting.

The horrors of renting go like this. Did you rent with a room mate? Do you depend on that portion of the rent? Oops, your room mate just got fired or died, now what? Your landlord doesn't care and you don't have the rent. Oh well, I guess you're homeless now.

How about this one? The apartment next to you has a couple with three kids and their homeless cousin living there in a one bedroom. You can hear the kids screaming and crying and the couple fighting all the time. When you turn the music on loud to blast the sound of that crazy family out, they yell at you and complain to the landlord who tells you not to play the music so loud. So then you start wearing headphones and you go outside to grill some burgers. The crazy family doesn't like smelling your burgers because they are vegetarians so they complain to the landlord and you get reprimanded again and told that grilling outside is not allowed. You're thinking about how after you paid your rent, those burgers were the best thing in your life and now you're not allowed to grill them. The next day, the crazy family's cousin has parked his piece of junk car in your parking spot. So you have to park somewhere else, far away from your apartment. While you're walking the distance back, another neighbor with a dog off his leash watches his dog bite you and laughs about it. Hmmmm...??? Maybe renting isn't worth it after all?

So is a mortgage really the way to go? It seems impossible though. Regardless of the price of the house or the land, the buyer is going to go through a lot just to get the deal including a hefty down payment. Still, on a fixed rate mortgage, at least the home buyer doesn't have to worry about a rent increase from out of nowhere. For the loan's duration, the monthly payment will stay the same so as long as you hold on to your job or income, you should feel pretty safe.

But what if the roof falls in? What if the toilet breaks? What if the electricity fails? Those problems can happen anywhere. Yes, as the homeowner you are now responsible to repair or replace faulty appliances and structure. But isn't that better than being stuck in a dump where you can't do anything about it even when the landlord doesn't care? At least you have the right to fix it. At least the control of it is in your hands.

Another perk of a mortgage versus renting is the freedom. You want to grill outside? Go ahead. You want to run naked in your backyard? Go ahead. You want to see what life is like without cable and electricity? Go ahead. You want to park in the same spot every day? No problem. And you can also blast your music as loud as you want to. No one there to tell you no. And you can get your own dog and let the dog run around in the fenced in back yard, so if another dog wants to bite you, you can call your dog to take care of that. Though really it shouldn't be a problem as dogs are smart enough to know not to trespass on someone's home. I think it's a dog thing.

So after I've experienced all these years of being a moocher and a renter, I've decided that I want to buy my own home and/or my own land. It's going to be the hardest thing I've ever tried to do because I will never have a good credit score. So the only way I can hope to qualify is if I save enough money for the down payment. It's 2024. At this rate, if I stay home and do nothing for the next five years, I might have a down payment. I'll be 58 years old.

Life pretty much sucks, and then you get a mortgage.