Youth Is Calling

To Being an Adult,

I quit. I’ve had enough of this being mature bullshit and having to keep a job. I just want to be a kid again. To go back to the carefree days that I don’t have to worry about bills. Or if I have a roof over my head. What kind of food will I eat if I get any at all. What I want to worry about is what kind of games I’m going to play.

What kind of cool rock that I’m going to find. That’s if I’m going to the beach. Or what kind of cool stick I’ll find on my walks.

I want to go back to playing with people I care about. Games and everything we normally did when I was younger. Like hide and seek, tag, and other such stuff. Not some grown-up adults with big people worries. To be the kid that I had been when I was younger. Or at least a certain version of myself when I felt the world was good. Back then I felt like life wasn’t terrible and was going somewhere. Where I had everything that I could ever want. And I didn’t have to worry about how much it would cost. Either me or my mom. That if I got the thing I wanted, I could still eat.

But no. Life and maturity make both these things difficult. You got to pay bills and taxes and other bullshit. That I’m sick of. Sick of dealing with people needing me to help them. Then these same people scream at me or call me nasty names. Telling me that I’m stupid or other such gross stuff. Having that brushed off with people that said this is a part of life when it shouldn’t be. Being disgusting to other people for no good reason shouldn’t be just brushed off. It wasn’t when I was a kid. Back when I was a kid these were called out and properly punished. Now these people have grown up to be annoying entitled pricks that think everyone owes them. And that being nice to retail workers is too difficult or that we have too much power.

Yeah, that was said about me by someone who was a neo-nazi.

I refuse this. I refuse to be grown up anymore and to deal with it. I’ve earned the right to just pretend not to be a grown-up. Even for a little while. Just keep the grown-up shit away from me for a good long while. Adulthood you have done nothing that great for me. And I’m so sick of you now. Especially with all the stuff that you brought upon me. None of it has been all that great. Like growing up has had me lose my cat. People that I care about dying as I watch them pass away. Or just not be around anymore and I can’t ever see them anymore either.

It sucks.

I just want to go back to the days when I knew where they were. Know that they’re alive and happy and well. That I don’t have to worry about a funeral or not knowing if I’ll ever be able to talk to them again. Or have the feeling of grief that I could never speak to the person that I love so much once again. And I know that’s stupid. That it’s silly that I wish that I could easily go back in time. Back to the young kid that I had been before. But I really miss those carefree days and being able to not care if anything is going to go wrong.

Like getting to spend time with my younger brothers. Back when we had more in common with each other. Aside from living in the same house together with two parents. Such as video games, regular games, bikes, and other awesome stuff. Ghosts in the graveyard, a hide and seek game, that we played with our neighbor. Getting to play all those cool games on Nintendo or the PlayStation. Back when those didn’t cost me an arm and a leg to buy so I can play games on them. And my favorite games aren’t even playable on them anymore which really sucks.

I don’t think Xena games can be played on the PS4 or PS5. Which I really find annoying. I want to go back to the days where we all played those games. When mom could beat them easy peasy and show us how to do it. Even helping us through the hard parts when we asked her to and watched her.

Growing up just means more bullshit to buy and less fun. Less fun games that I can play with my mom. Or younger brother. I’m just done with growing up. So, I’m done with it and I’m going back to playing kid games. See ya, Maturity. I’d say it’s been great, but I’d be lying to ya. Get dunked on.

Sincerely,

Me.