Who are you?

An old teacher of mine once asked me, ‘Who are you?’. I told him my name out loud. He smiled, ‘You think there isn’t any other Ayesha in this world? Tell me what makes you different, what makes you who you are?'. I was naive, I gave him so many answers but with each answer, I was realizing, whatever I am, whatever I have achieved it is not enough to identify me as an individual. It struck me then, the possibility that maybe, to everyone else, I was not significant. A single fish in an ocean full of millions. I realized that day, how important it was for me to find an answer to 'who are you?'.

When you are young, people usually question, what you want to be once you grow up. I vividly remember how unusual my answer used to be, 'I want to become everything'. Now that I think of it, it has always been this way for me. I wanted to experience every profession. From being a doctor to a farmer to an economist to a pilot, a teacher, a scientist, everything. There is so much out there and the sheer curiosity about what it felt like to be in their places? Young me was fascinated with this possibility.

As we grow up, we learn how living works. I, too, with time realized, with every step I took further in life, I was limiting my options. That each one of my decisions was somehow curtailing the path to this almost impossible idea for the future I had in mind. The average life expectancy of a female is 75 years. Maybe I can not be everything, not in such a short time. But this life that I have, however brief, I can live to the fullest. Time is a law of nature, I can not let it be an obstacle. We - humans - are capable of so much. I can appreciate art and music, I can embroider, make journals, and read novels, and history. I can learn new languages. I can be kind, explore exotic places, meet new people, experience different cultures, and I can continue my pursuit of knowledge. he notion of individuality is also influenced by social and cultural factors. Our sense of self and identity is shaped by our experiences, relationships, and the cultural norms and values of the society we live in. This means that our individuality is not entirely self-contained, but rather influenced by external factors. For me, it is about winning without competition. Self-satisfaction. Knowing that whatever I do I put my best efforts into it.

While individuality is often seen as a self-contained, autonomous entity, it is also shaped by social and cultural factors and evolves over time. Understanding what constitutes an individual is essential to understanding human experience and identity. So, ‘who am I’? It has been three years, and I am still trying to find an answer. But I have deduced, all my interests, the events that occur in my life, little things around me that I see and understand, are all contributing to making me who I am. We do not change, we evolve. New parts joined with the old ones. Does not mean we are not what we used to be anymore, we are that and much more. Even though I am unable to define myself today, I feel like my definition is changing with every passing day. This question will forever remain engraved in my head, and whilst I search for the key, I might be able to leave a mark on this world.