When Pain Found Its Playlist

With Spotify Wrapped season upon us, music lovers everywhere are eagerly uncovering their most-played songs of the year. But as the internet bursts with playlists full of dance anthems and feel-good jams, I find myself reflecting on a year that played out more like a heartbreaking ballad than an upbeat pop song.

Earlier this year, I went through a breakup so brutal it felt like my tear ducts staged a coup. Breathing became optional, crying was mandatory, and the only “forever” I could see was the infinity of my tissues pile. When you spend years believing someone is your forever and they turn out to be your, never ever, it’s enough to leave you reeling.

Breakups are funny—not “ha-ha” funny, more like “how-is-this-my-life” funny. One minute, you’re envisioning a proposal, and the next, you’re realising that knowing what ring they’d pick doesn’t count as an engagement.

But in the middle of all this heartbreak, music became my lifeline. Each song I listened to became a chapter of my grief memoir. From anger to acceptance, hopelessness to hope, my playlists carried me through. They reminded me that it’s okay to feel everything at once, to scream-cry in the car, and to eventually, miraculously, believe that you deserve better. Because I do.

I have come to realise that music has an unparalleled ability to mend broken hearts. Whether it's through lyrics that mirror your pain, melodies that offer comfort, or rhythms that reignite hope, music becomes a trusted companion in the healing process. It gives space to grieve, permission to feel, and the strength to move forward. Heartbreak may be inevitable, but with the right soundtrack, it becomes just a little easier to bear. So the next time you find yourself piecing together the fragments of your heart, let music be the glue that holds you together. Healing is just a song away.

Here's my own version of Spotify Wrapped: my top songs of 2024, curated not by algorithms but by emotions.

The songs that scream louder than I did:

• Let This Love Lie Dead by First and Forever
• i've got a bad feeling about this by First and Forever

The musical equivalent of a sad puddle on the floor:

• Whiskey Glasses by First and Forever
• Outside of Love by Becky Hill
• 2053 by Bellah Mae
• Waiting for Never by Post Malone
• Down Bad by Taylor Swift
• Guilty as Sin? by Taylor Swift
• My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys by Taylor Swift
• About You by The 1975

Melodies that started piecing me back together.

• Rom Coms by Cassadee Pope
• I Can Do It With A Broken Heart by Taylor Swift

Songs that immediately improved how I felt - I am genuinely a massive fan of All Time Low, so I could listen to any of their songs and be content. I take a great deal of comfort in their sound, they are my favourite band.

• Poppin' Champagne - ATL's Version - All Time Low, my song of the year - the instrumental towards the end of the song is musical bliss
• Coffee Shop Soundtrack - ATL's Version - All Time Low, my second favourite song of the year - similarly to Poppin' Champagne, the instrumental at the start is so wonderful that I'll never tire of listening to it
• Jasey Rae - ATL's Version - All Time Low
• I'd Be Fine (If I Never Saw You Again) - All Time Low

The songs that bring me hope for 2025:

• Euphoria by Luca
• Infinitely Falling by Fly by Midnight

If you’re going through a breakup, I hope this list gives you the same solace these songs gave me. Grab your headphones and press play!