What's Next?

During my senior year, I had time to think about what I wanted to become or the type of career I wanted to pursue, and what college I wanted to enroll in, But I didn't. Why? I wasn't sure of what I wanted to do. My main focus was to complete high school and be free from twelve years of school, going through depression, personal issues at home, losing friends, grades becoming worse and worse, barely engaging in my hobbies, and just becoming less and less of myself. Although I had a few careers in mind of what I may think I wanted to be, I wasn't 100% sure about myself. I was tired of people asking me, " What are your plans after high school?" "Are you going to college?" when I don't know the answer. Sometimes I even lied and said yes only to please others and didn't want to look less educated or be like someone who doesn't want to accomplish anything with their lives and become something. I was puzzled about what I wanted to do cause of having plenty of options. The main occupation I honestly thought I wanted to start with was creative writing. But then comes the self-doubt, fixed mindset, and the comparing myself to others and their writing skills and how I could never be that great. I believe I have so much potential and I know I can be one of the best female writers in the world if only I had more confidence and knew where to begin. I still have a lot to learn for writing, but I believe this is the career I want to start. Besides all the negatives, I also had some positives. For example, the talk I had with my Auntie Brittany was about how I can do whatever I put my mind up to and if I want to be a writer, then do so. Also, how I can research whatever I still need to learn to become a great writer and that she will be there for me whenever I need help with anything. All she wants me to do is research the different writing careers there are and see which one catches my eye and start with that. Another thing that Aunt Britt said to me that will stick with me is when she said, " You don't have to rush it, you have time, you don't want to wait too long, but you don't want to rush either. start with your hobbies to see if you can make a career out of those first, but remember you can do more than one thing is you can do it, I believe in you."

This story is to express my feelings and my story of how I'm still figuring out what I want to do with my life, and that's okay that it's taking me longer than others. But knowing that I have at least an interest in something that I can potentially turn into a career is a start. What I want to say to those who are in the same position is a fixed mindset will not get you anywhere but in a depressive and negative state that can stop you from chasing your dreams and goals. Remember to stay upbeat, and confident, and keep a growth mindset. Don't forget it's okay to talk to someone about your feelings because even when you feel like you don't want to, you should. Your mental health plays a big role in your life. And one more thing to remember is that everybody has to start somewhere and no matter what, take your time to figure out what you like and what you want to be and do it.