What Happened When I Gave A Helping Hand To Somebody

Life is long. It is also, at times, very difficult to get through it and come out the other end unscathed. The harsh fact is that anybody who lives long enough to become old for sure has more than a few battle scars to show for it. And now I am at the wrong end of life, ie I have many more years behind me than I have ahead of me, I can tell you one of the hardest parts of life that we have to deal with is our personal relationships, as well as how we deal with the less personal ones.

Many years ago, a good friend of mine once asked me, "Do you presume people to be intrinsically good until they prove otherwise, or vice versa?"

At that time, for me, it was the former. That was then. Now? It is very much the latter. I have learned through some very harsh experiences that it is much safer to presume guilty until proven innocent.

A phrase that I learned all too late is "No favor goes unpunished." That is to say that the people who hurt you the most are those that you help the most. These type of people take your generosity of spirit as stupidity. I'll give you a perfect example of a little that I have had to contend with from people who I reached out to help.

Over twenty years ago I worked in new and second-hand car sales. One day I sold a very nice, almost new Alfa Romeo GTV, to a guy called Mike. It was the car of his dreams, but a bit of an economic stretch for him. No problem, I got him fixed up with some interest-free finance, and the deal was done. One more very happy customer.

About a month later Mike came into the dealership and asked if we would buy the car back from him as he had been made redundant from his job in computer sales. I asked the sales manager and he said no we were not interested at that moment in time.

A month after that Mike came in once again, this time to buy some carpet mats for his GTV. I strolled over the sales floor to ask him if he had found another job and he replied no. I suddenly had what I thought was a good idea and told Mike to grab a coffee and go and sit at my desk.

I then went to see the Sales Manager, James, and told him that due to a recent increase in new customers coming into the showroom, I needed another salesman to help me deal with all of the inquiries. As it happened, James was about to put an advert in the local newspaper for a new salesman. Great, I said, well why not save yourself the money and interview Mike who bought that red GTV from us? He's sitting at my desk right now. James agreed and told me to send Mike in to see him.

About fifteen minutes after he went into James's office, Mike came out with a big smile on his face. He'd got the job I put him up for. As he left with a spring in his step James called me back into his office. He told me that it would be my job to train Mike up and help him to be a success. I happily agreed.

For his first month, Mike was totally useless and was getting stressed out about it. He had not managed to sell a single car. Comparing that to my first month when I sold thirty cars right from the get-go, I was getting more than a little worried for Mike. So I felt it incumbent upon me to give him some extra help.

The problem was that although Mike had worked for a number of years in computer sales, it was what we call an order taker, rather than a salesman. In Mike's old job, customers telephoned to place an order. There wasn't any actual selling involved.

In car sales, a lot of it is dealing with cold calls and managing to get people down to the showroom where you could dazzle them with your well-polished and practiced sales techniques. It is not always as simple as it might appear.

Well, lo and behold, one day Mike seemed to have suddenly got the idea of how to go about selling cars and sold five in one week. However, in one of our daily sales meetings in the manager's office, it became clear where Mik's leap in sales success came from. He was stealing my sales leads, people who I had appointed to come and see me in the showroom. When they arrived at the time I gave them, whilst I was upstairs in the parts department, Mike told them it was my day off and that he would look after them!

So Mike got the sale and the commission. It was like putting his thieving hands in my pocket when I wasn't looking and stealing cash from my salary. I was furious with the cheeky swine, not least of all since I had saved him from losing his car and his house!

I had very strong words with Mike, all to no avail. In fact, Mike stole so much business from me that I lost my job due to a downturn in my own sales success. I tried to tell James, but he didn't want to listen.

I can tell you, that was one bitter pill I had to swallow. To think how I had put myself out to help and got rewarded with a punch in the teeth...I am not a violent man, but at that time I was sorely tempted.

In time I got a job elsewhere. About a year later I got a call from an old colleague to say Mike had died. Apparently, he had fallen, or was pushed by his new lady friend, off a cliff and fell about one hundred feet onto the rocks below.

Of course, I would not wish that on anybody, but neither did I have any sympathy.

Sad to reflect, Mike stabbing me in the back was not the only time I had been done a bad turn by somebody I tried to help. Life is full of swines like that and does not pay to be incautious with who you offer to help.