Want Success? Stop Complaining!

I figured out a long time ago that the reason I'm not a financial success as a writer yet is that I complain too much. So you would think that I immediately stopped complaining and now I'm rolling in the dough? 

Right?

Have you ever tried to stop complaining for a day? Have you ever just tried to cut back? It's not an easy thing.

Take writing online for example. Whether you are writing on Medium, NewsBreak, or Vocal you have the same goal for each piece you write. You spend hours researching, crafting, editing, to publish it to the world knowing you have created a literary masterpiece. You already see dollar signs because this piece is quite possibly the best thing you have ever written.

It has to go viral.

So you wait. On Medium, it doesn't get curated, and after a few views, it falls flat. Nothing. You promote it on social media but can't gain traction. 

Maybe you submit it to NewsBreak, and after it is published you get 1000 impressions but 20 page views. No one is reading.

Vocal has to be better, right? Sadly, the piece doesn't even make it past the editors and is not published.

9.99 out of 10 of us are going to start playing the blame game. "The curators have a personal vendetta against me!" "The editors wouldn't know good work if it bit them in the ass!" "People on NewsBreak have lower intelligence and wouldn't know good writing anyway!"

What do we do? Instead of thinking rationally about it, we go for the throat. We complain about everything else instead of what it's really wrong in the first place.

Have you thought that your opinion about your own work may be biased, and it's not as good as you think? Even though you think the title is snarky and brilliant, maybe it is actually terrible? Maybe you didn't have an effective introduction and you weren't hooking readers and making them want to read.

Maybe you had a bad day and just because you had that article go viral last week does not mean everything you write is gold.

But, you want to complain, and blame, and find a reason for your article tanking besides the obvious. You don't want to admit to your sensitive writer's entitlement that you are fallible and everything you write isn't a home run.

So we complain and blame.

Why Do We Complain?

According to Dr. Guy Winch, we complain when we feel there is a huge gap between an expectation and reality. Complaining is also a way for us to bond with other people over something mutually relatable.

"Complaints can make us feel like we connect with someone because we have a mutual dissatisfaction about something," he says.

So we expected our story to go viral, but instead, it deflated. It must be the editor's or curator's fault! "I bet another writer feels the same way, let me post on Facebook!"

I see it every day in the glut of complaining that poses for new articles on my timeline. "Why I'm leaving Medium!" " Medium Cheated Me Out of A Bonus!" "Vocal Contests are Unfair to Writers!" "NewsBreak Changed How They Pay Us. Now I Can't Make Any Money!"

Sound familiar? It comes from writers both new and veteran. Old School writers wonder why they aren't a success yet, and instead of putting the blame where it should fall, they curse the platform. New writers don't see thousands of dollars in their bank accounts from writing after a few months and want to blame and give up.

"I am a great writer! It's can't be my fault! I published ten books! I've been blogging for a decade! I have a Master's in English!"

Doesn't matter. Medium, NewsBreak, and Vocal never promised they would make you a success with thousands every month in your bank account. They can only do so much. Could it be that your writing is just not marketable for online consumption and you don't have the spark that readers are looking for yet?

I took a long, hard look at myself and my writing. No, I don't have a Master's. Yes, I was a blogger for a decade. I am self-taught. I haven't paid all my dues and proven I can write for a wide audience yet. I haven't put in the years it takes to become an overnight success.

I realized the reason I wasn't financially successful as a writer was that I wasn't marketable enough. I didn't write for my audience. I wasn't relatable. I didn't have a strong voice. I couldn't command an audience of readers like the top writers on the platforms.

So what did I do?

I started improving by reading the people who were killing it online. I still complain at times but it's not a knee-jerk reaction. Yes, my first thought when an article doesn't do well is to blame someone or something else, but before I sit and type a 10,000-word treatise on why Ev Williams is a crook, I look at myself and figure out the reasons why the article wasn't successful that I can control.

I start with myself before I sit and name the ways that the platforms have screwed me over the years. I realize I need to improve and put in the time before I'm a success online.

I stop complaining.

How to Stop Complaining

I haven't completely stopped, but even my wife noticed that I have far fewer complaints about everything than I used to. Here is what to do:

1. Think before you speak. Before you start blaming others - before you start blaming algorithms, think about it. Could it be that your article is not the masterpiece you thought it was? Can you tweak the headline? Stop blaming and start figuring out the real reason things happen.
2. Remember, you are not the center of the universe. It's doubtful that the editors at Vocal, the curators at Medium, or the readers over at NewsBreak have it in for little ole' you. In the scheme of life, we mean very little and it's doubtful that Ev Williams would take time out of his day to screw the writers on his platform.
3. Look for the real reason. The most likely reason that something happened that you didn't expect is that you did something to make it come out that way. We are human and fallible. Look at yourself before you blame something else.
4. Move on. Start writing something else. Take another path. Pick another topic. Buy a different brand. Move on with your life and stop obsessing over things that don't matter.

It's really that simple. I hate using the word success because it means different things to different people, but if you want to be one, the first thing you must do is stop complaining.

Wouldn't your life be much easier if you weren't always looking for something to be pissed off about?

Move on. In the grand scheme of the universe, your complaints mean nothing.

I hope that helps.