Unnamed's Untold Story

I knew a kid that lived in their head. For the purpose of this story and to avoid redundancy, we’re going to call this kid Unnamed. To Unnamed, the world outside wasn’t kind or very fun, so they hung out with the characters they created and stayed in their head their entire life, twenty three years to be exact. This kid, well, they struggled with loneliness, which made sense because they never liked to cross the threshold of their mind’s front door. Whenever they did, they often were made to feel weird or different so it became easier and easier to never leave their mind. As Unnamed got older they started doodling in class. Well actually, they started writing in class, specifically dialogue. Their notebook margins were filled with characters and their conversations that Unnamed thought of as their Spanish teacher taught them how to conjugate verbs. On two separate occasions Unnamed pulled all nighters to write screenplays in improper script writing format because the story in their head demanded to be told at the early hours of a weekday. Instead of blood, Unnamed had stories flowing through their veins. Instead of nerves, there were brand new pieces of paper just begging to be marked with ink. Taking advantage of this medical phenomenon, Unnamed embarked on a journey to make a career out of living in their head.

It’s important to note that this kid had friends who were very supportive in everything they tried to do. The moment that Unnamed decided that they were going to go to film school, their friends and classmates accepted it, not even thinking twice. The bummer was that many of the adults surrounding this kid were taken by a misguided surprise when Unnamed stated that they were going to pursue film.

“You are so gifted in music, why would you go to film school?” said one adult.

“If you really wanted to be a filmmaker you would have been making short films already” said another, not really understanding that there are other parts of filmmaking besides working a camera.

“I think God’s calling for your life is music” said one of the aforementioned adults.

Though these adults were singing in dissonant melodies their two cents about Unnamed’s future, there was one voice that drowned out the others. We will call this new character English Teacher, because she was an english teacher. Unnamed, who was sixteen at the time, decided that they would take a leap of faith and share their writings with English Teacher. To this day, Unnamed doesn’t know if she was just being nice and encouraging by saying their writings were good--Unnamed has reread some of their old writings and cringed at all of the short sentences and terrible grammar--but needless to say English Teacher was supportive and encouraged them to pursue film as a career path.

So Unnamed packed up their things and they moved to Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, the obvious destination for someone wanting to be in the film industry. When that didn’t work out, they transferred to a school in Missouri with a good film program. Unnamed still lived in their head, that never changed, but they learned that it was safe to cross the threshold again. Better yet, it was safe to invite other people in, because they quickly found that there were other people just like them who also lived in their heads. Their stories were all different. Some chose to focus on drama, others liked action, some liked both. Some kids lived in fantasy worlds, fought with aliens, were swept off of their feet by their soulmates, randomly broke into song and dance, solved murders, and sat on the edge of their seats until they fell off. You name the genre and there was a kid who decorated their internal walls with the stuff of their dreams, thus our protagonist of the story found their community.

Unnamed got to make films with their newfound family, spending countless nights living in an office with five other students as they huddled around a computer monitor to carefully dissect and tear apart an edited scene. Often, they were the one sitting in the chair trying not to be offended by the criticism. Unnamed got to edit, produce, write, and even direct on some of these projects and found that they loved everything they got to do. It wasn’t always easy and more often than not, it was frustrating, but as Unnamed juggled making movies with their friends and a part time job at a famous chicken restaurant, they realized that the frustration they felt while making movies actually made them happy. Comparing that to the countless times they drove home screaming from their part time job, it became more and more apparent that telling stories was the only thing that would make Unnamed happy.

Fast forward to the end of their second senior year-because transferring schools can often put you behind academically-Unnamed found themselves needing an outlet where they could tell stories. They had left their part time job at the chicken restaurant and now worked for a delivery company, trying very hard to use their very expensive piece of paper called a degree. For a year, Unnamed would come home from work, sit on their couch, and write until they needed to go to sleep. Still, the loneliness would appear, seeing as Unnamed’s community of people like them had all moved away. They didn’t have anyone else to welcome into their head, so sometimes they would come home from work and just mindlessly watch a show that they had seen a thousand times before.

Passion can fade sometimes, especially when you’re in the midst of a global crisis and you find yourself missing the life you knew before. Unnamed missed being on a film set and working with other creatives. It felt like they would never get to hold a camera again or yell the word “action” to a group of actors readying themselves for the scene before them. Unnamed felt hopeless and once again, lonely. That’s when they decided to force their passion to reappear. In the current age of technology it became easier for Unnamed to work with their community again as they FaceTimed and Skyped and Zoomed to work on a project that Unnamed was passionate about. Their community of storytellers and kids who lived in their heads came together for Unnamed and helped them to make their story better. Unnamed and their community are still working together, trying to make the aforementioned project a reality and in that Unnamed found passion again. Even from a distance, they didn’t feel lonely anymore.

I would be lying if I didn’t say that Unnamed is me, but you probably put that together. Why else would I call a character Unnamed except to hide their identity until the end of my story in hopes of creating some intrigue? I lived in my head my entire life and I still do, but it’s become a lot easier to let others in. I learned that if I had never let these people in, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m currently doing. You see, I’m passionate about storytelling, so much so that I made myself a protagonist in a story to express that passion for this craft. I love writing, I love editing, I love directing, I love storytelling. I find that telling a story is the easiest way for me to connect with someone and I usually start by telling my story. I tell this story of a kid who lived in their head, made friends with their imagined characters, dealt with the annoying disapproval of others, stayed up into the early morning hours to write scripts, and found a community of storytellers because it means a lot to me and I hope someone else can relate to it. I don’t like feeling alone and I never want someone to feel that way. If I can use my passion to help even one person, then I’ve done my job on this earth and I would fall asleep knowing that I succeeded.

I believe passion is the thing that fuels you, it inspires you, it is your muse. You live a life to bring that passion to fruition, whether it be in a professional environment or just something you do in the free time you possess. I hope to one day be able to make a living off of my passion, but as for now I will use the free time I have to pursue what I love because without this, I feel as if I don’t have anything.

Truth be told, I probably wouldn’t.