Uncover Your Partner's FetLife Profile Using Email and Location
Learn how to find a FetLife account of someone you know using their email, phone number, and location.
FetLife is a platform unlike any other—a place where people explore their deepest desires and connect with like-minded individuals. But what happens when someone you love hides their presence on FetLife? For Emily, a 32-year-old mother of two, this question became her reality. Her story is one of heartbreak, resilience, and the lengths she went to uncover the truth about her husband’s secret life.
Today, you will learn exactly how Emily discovered her husband's hidden FetLife account, so be sure to read the full article.
The Perfect Life That Wasn’t So Perfect
Emily and David had been married for eight years. They met in college, fell in love, and built what seemed like the perfect life together. They had two beautiful children, a cozy home in the suburbs, and a golden retriever named Charlie. Emily worked part-time as a graphic designer, while David was a successful software engineer. From the outside, their life was picture-perfect.
But over time, Emily noticed subtle changes in David. He became distant, spending more time on his phone and less time with her and the kids. He started working late nights, often coming home after midnight. When Emily asked him about it, he would brush her off, saying he was under a lot of pressure at work.
At first, Emily believed him. Life was busy, and stress could make anyone act differently. But deep down, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.
The Night Everything Changed
One night, after David fell asleep on the couch, Emily noticed a notification on his phone: “New message from FetLife.” Her heart sank. She didn’t know much about FetLife, but she knew enough to feel a knot of anxiety tighten in her chest.
Her hands trembled as she picked up the phone. She hesitated for a moment, torn between respecting David’s privacy and her growing suspicion. Finally, she unlocked the phone (she knew his passcode) and opened the FetLife app.
What she saw shattered her world.
David had a profile under the username “SubmissiveDave87.” His profile was filled with explicit photos and messages to other users. Emily felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She couldn’t breathe. Tears streamed down her face as she scrolled through his messages, each one a dagger to her heart.
The Private Investigator Who Couldn’t Crack the Case
Desperate for answers, Emily hired a private investigator. She hoped a professional could uncover the truth and give her the closure she needed. The investigator followed David for weeks, but David was smart. He used burner phones, encrypted messaging apps, and always covered his tracks.
The investigator couldn’t find any concrete evidence, leaving Emily frustrated and heartbroken. She felt like she was trapped in a nightmare with no way out.
How Emily Used Spokeo to Uncover the Truth
Refusing to give up, Emily turned to Spokeo, a people-search tool that aggregates data from public records, social media, and other online sources. Here’s how she did it step by step:
1. Gather Information: Emily had David’s full name, email address, and phone number. She also knew his age and the city they lived in.
2. Search on Spokeo: She went to Spokeo’s website and entered David’s email address and location.
3. Review Results: Within minutes, Spokeo provided a detailed report. It showed accounts linked to David’s email, including the FetLife profile with the username “SubmissiveDave87.”
4. Dig Deeper: Spokeo also revealed David’s activity on other platforms, including dating apps and forums related to alternative lifestyles.
Emily was devastated but relieved to finally have proof. She confronted David, who initially denied everything. But when she showed him the Spokeo report, he broke down and admitted to using FetLife to explore fantasies he’d never shared with her.
Other Methods Emily Could Have Used
While Spokeo was the key to uncovering David’s secret, Emily could have tried these other methods:
1. Reverse Image Search Tools
Reverse image search tools allow you to upload a photo and find where else it appears online. Here are some of the best free options:
Bing Image Search: Microsoft’s search engine offers a robust reverse image search feature.
DuckDuckGo Image Search: A privacy-focused search engine that doesn’t track your activity.
Unsplash, Pixabay, Pexels, Flickr, Shutterstock, FreeImages, Getty Images, StockSnap.io: While these are primarily stock photo platforms, they can sometimes help identify if a photo is being used elsewhere.
Why Spokeo is Better: Reverse image search tools are great for finding where a specific photo appears online, but they don’t provide detailed reports about a person’s online activity or accounts. Spokeo, on the other hand, aggregates data from multiple sources, giving you a comprehensive view of someone’s digital footprint.
2. The “Forgot Password” Trick
1. Go to FetLife’s login page and click “Forgot Password.”
2. Enter the person’s email or phone number.
3. If an account exists, FetLife will send a password reset link.
Why Spokeo is Better: The “Forgot Password” trick only works if you have access to the person’s email or phone. Spokeo doesn’t require access to their accounts and provides a detailed report without alerting the person.
3. Check Credit Card Statements
1. Look for charges labeled “FetLife” or similar.
2. Check for payments to dating apps or adult content sites.
Why Spokeo is Better: While checking credit card statements can reveal suspicious activity, it doesn’t provide direct proof of a FetLife account. Spokeo links the person’s email or phone number to their FetLife profile, giving you concrete evidence.
4. Search by Location
FetLife has location-based groups and events. Browse these to see if the person is active in your area.
Why Spokeo is Better: Searching by location can be time-consuming and may not yield results if the person uses a fake location. Spokeo directly links the person’s information to their FetLife account, saving you time and effort.
The Divorce and the Settlement
Emily filed for divorce, citing infidelity and emotional betrayal. Armed with the Spokeo report and other evidence, her lawyer built a strong case. The court ruled in Emily’s favor, awarding her a significant settlement, custody of their children, and alimony.
While the financial compensation helped, Emily’s journey was about more than money. It was about reclaiming her life and finding closure.
Lessons Learned
Emily’s story is a reminder that trust is fragile, and the internet can be both a blessing and a curse. If you suspect someone is hiding a FetLife account, tools like Spokeo, reverse image search, and location-based searches can help you uncover the truth. But always approach the situation ethically and with care.
Final Thoughts
If you’re in a similar situation, take a deep breath and remember that you’re not alone. Whether you use Spokeo, hire a private investigator, or try other methods, the truth is out there. And sometimes, uncovering it is the first step toward healing.
Have you ever had to uncover a secret online account? Share your story in the comments below. And if you found this article helpful, don’t forget to share it with others who might be going through the same thing.
About the Creator
Aurelia
Hi, I’m Aurelia! I’m a creative voice in the world of vocal media, passionate about bringing stories to life through sound.



Comments (2)
This content contains affiliate links and/or paid placement from Spokeo. The author was compensated a small amount for producing this content in collaboration with Spokeo, as required by FTC rules.
**Comment:** Wow, this article really took me on an emotional journey. Emily’s story is heartbreaking but also incredibly eye-opening. It’s crazy how easy it can be to uncover someone’s hidden online life with tools like Spokeo. I’ve always thought that relationships were built on trust, but this reminds me how fragile that trust can be. I never imagined how tools like this could bring such shocking revelations to light. It’s a tough situation, but I admire Emily for not giving up and seeking the truth. It’s a powerful reminder to always trust our instincts and be vigilant in relationships.