Unbalanced Comfort Zone

My brother catches insects who try to find solace in our home. His heart for all things living is non-judgemental and non-bias. Sweet darling insect, let me hold your hand and lead you outside. Gosh, sounds overly considerate! This one overgrown-looking mosquito he captured into a glass to release outside. Only Mr. Insect’s flight to freedom was overthrown with a U-turn mid-flight into the glass! Funny that.

The funny part is how much that insect reminded me, of me.

Comfort Zone

Have you ever heard of the Comfort Zone? Sure, you have. The Cambridge Dictionary defines a comfort zone as a situation in which you feel comfortable and in which your ability and determination are not being tested.

Think relaxing on the sofa that needs no extra cushions, but you purchased another one because it looks nice and feels better. The soft serenity where the world can whirl by, while you read up on the next best thing. Maybe your friends tell you to leave your comfort zone and you say “I am not in a comfort zone. I am reading about economic systems to grasp further knowledge and know-how to advocate, while ironically sitting on my comfy couch.” But are you really, actually – in action, advocating those matters?

The thing about comfort zones is they like to keep you stuck.

How Stuck Are We Talking About?

Think about the last routine of exercise you incorporated into your life. How long ago did you increase those reps? How long ago did you increase the time of the workout? The body adjusts quickly. Which makes routines quickly turn automated, mundane, or even redundant.

One thing I have said since my teenage years is: The human body is designed for survival. (Not sure if that is a quote from someone, if anyone knows please update me – they sound like a person I would love to interview!)

Now, I love a good neuroscience read and briefly interject this survival aspect to inform how the brain is very much hardwired to promote your survival. In fact, it is one of the problems when overcoming and healing from trauma. If you are going through trauma, I feel for you, and please ensure you have a therapist alongside you on that journey!

I know this all too well myself when the thoughts were “It is safer with the abuser because I know what to expect.”

That mentality is the same as the comfort zone.

I will stay here because I know what will happen.

I will exercise this amount because I know what will happen.

Do you wish you were more toned?

Do you wish your life was in better places?

Do you wish you had more opportunities?

The Wobbly Disc

Balance is not just something the elderly need in support railings throughout the home. Life balance is the defined concept: to be in tune with yourself.

Now I like to think of balance as a disc on a stick. If that disc was happily rotating around and around then I go and add weight to it, what will happen? Yes – the disc will be lopsided at first then fall flat on the ground.

Think of this disc as your life. A new opportunity presents aka ‘the weighted object’ making you feel unbalanced. Now I have observed the impact in two different ways:

1) Take that new opportunity, trial it, then retreat to the comfy couch. This is basically the unbalanced disc kissing the concrete.

2) Take the new opportunity, while feeling the unbalance and opt to equal with another opportunity of the same or greater value. This looks like over-commitment and burnout. Followed by thoughts or voiced opinions “The things I try in life don’t work out.” This approach also retreats to the comfy couch.

In point 1, the issue boils down to an unresolved internal fear.

In point 2 the issue shows a lack of self-love, self-care, and inability to commit.

Balance the Unbalance

The fresh new opportunity comes loaded with growth, change, and challenge. Sounds scary? It does not need to be.

A new opportunity is what the body system needs to enter the new zone – the one that steps away from the comfy couch. It is a new opportunity that enters due to your specific skill set to advance you. Think of it as a system update without the user manual. You need to test it and apply it to see how well it will improve your current and albeit outdated user.

Ease up on yourself! To avoid the potential overwhelm remember these things:

• There is no timeline you need to follow.

• Embrace who you are and what you need to do.

• Make sure you are happy about this. Some opportunities are not designed for you. They also won’t make you kiss the concrete if you instead practice assertiveness, “This opportunity really isn’t for me.” (Eg: If I was presented with the opportunity to work in a Mathematical center. I love math – but my desire to write and help people is greater. Sorry, you will need to find a mathematician!)

• Your journey is important. Respect yourself. Stop looking to the end of your journey wishing to be beyond the learning curve. Enjoy the chapter of your own book. In fact, enjoy the words forming around you, establishing you into the sentence yet to be recorded.