The Wholly Trifecta

The Wholly Trifecta

"Before Common Error"

Born to an ingenue of singular virtue

Prophesied in Micah Chapter 5, Book 2

but if Mother Mary never laid with her spouse

Christ doesn't descend from King David's House.

Lived, I'm told, to thirty-some years old

never settled down with a nice Jewish girl.

Roamed Roman land with the boys in the band

Never once spoke ill of a man and a man.

Of Golgotha the gospels tell differing tales

In Mark 15, an anguished Christ wails:

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?!"

While Luke's leading man leans into his destiny.

Churches are schools for cultivating fools,

Heaven's but a carrot for motivating mules.

Faith’s a fancy name for allegiance to a lost cause

Each day Christ don't come is one day less ‘til he does.

"Dumigod"

He's the purpose divine we assign to our pain,

Who has-beens blame when outplayed by the game.

The grassy knoll gunman for the gullible brain,

but he's not an explanation, he's a failure to explain.

For bein’ a god he's a funny man,

He can do what we can't do,

but can't do what we can.

Bathe the world in brine to cleanse it of sin,

but he won't build an arc for Noah and his kin?

The Good Book’s content divinely decreed,

The Militant Faithful in unison agreed.

Rife with contradictions, and femicide depictions.

Blame the mortal men who scribed his fan fictions.

For bein’ a god he's a funny man

He can do what we can't do,

but can't do what we can.

Bathe the world in brine to cleanse it of sin,

but he can't build an arc for Noah and his kin?

Summon locusts to swarm, slay every firstborn,

But he can’t topple walls without hearing a horn?

Set fire to a tree, even part the Red Sea;

But it took him ten plagues to set his chosen people free?

"Christianism"

Like Tarsus Saul's transformative vision

Dollars signs inspired me to start my own religion

Named in honor of its founding father

Henceforth known as Christianism.

Truth be told I've no use for souls

I'd rather rule this land with an iron hand

but even the best of the best laid plans

are castles of sand sans soldiers to command.

Right about now you're rolling your eyes

"Who's gonna tithe to your golden calf guise?"

Simpleton kinds with simpleton minds,

the lost and lonely, the condemned to die.

God's plan for man was being contemplated

before Stonehenge’s stones were consecrated

though often debated, no more demonstrated

then the first time the notion was iterated.

Rejoice, My Son, while I anoint myself the one

to have solved this unsolvable abstract conundrum

Proving me more than a king among men

Proving me to be a king of kings among them!

But choose free will and refuse the blue pill,

You'll have hell to pay, forever and a day.

Unanimously, will the rabblement agree,

That burning would be worst, so burning it will be.

As alpha and omega the buck starts and stops with me,

Making Darwinism’s doings my ordained decree.

Divining this dis I ginned a nemesis,

whose every action thwarts my benefaction.

When the worst of luck finds the best of us

Throw that goat-headed scapegoat under the bus.

When the mouths of babes hold my feet to the flames,

having thrown off the yoke of Saint Peter's listed names

"End world hunger with a wave of your hand!"

"Hinder the holy wars your faith brought the Holy Land!"

I'll assign to the divine my insouciant stand

"Have faith," my most fanatical sheep will demand

Chris works in ways common man can't understand.