The Search for Serenity

This prison cell is called home, not physical but mental - where the darkness prevails and minutes feel eternal, at times light appears through the cracks and crevices of the membrane surrounding the ever racing motor powering the machine that be, me.

Here I find myself daily wondering when the tides will change and this decent into madness will be transformed into an uplifting journey towards the light.

My soul, weary, finds safety in its own madness, inside the chaos of thought that leave me feeling as though I have no control, yet for some reason I feel in control of it all.

How else could I describe this vicious expression of volatile life force coursing through my veins, but with one word that rings so true.

Insanity.

I have lost my mind to this pursuit of truth, in pursuit of god, and, in the ever unfolding present moment I have realised this, there is nothing to be found in pursuit but only to be seen and heard in stillness and silence for the chase itself leaves one empty handed and forever waiting for the arrival of answers to the questions we dare not speak.

Yet, answers we do not find until we resign and collapse to our knees, we may strive to pursue all that which we desire however fulfilment shall only be delivered to who abstains from the same desires he so desperately wishes to attain. There be not a single solution to life other than the surrender to nature, to the flow of universal energies that drive us forward once we step down from our pedestal and immerse ourselves in the darkness of unknown magnificence that lay beyond the veil of illusion that those realists call life, for the identity of the realist is but the illusion of what beliefs he harbours as his own with no desire to fight for truth, instead, to become the fool that believes his own truth without the challenge of change.

This adventure has brought me back to life, for the experience in it’s entirety may have left my pockets empty however my being it has made whole, eternally grateful I am to have witnessed the ethereal expression of cosmic beauty, to have aligned my vision with divinity guided by a powerful entity that hath no name nor face, yet unrivalled be it’s embrace once you arrive at the gates, to immerse yourself inevitably in the celestial rays of sunlight that parade into your being and tiptoe across your skin as the heavens shine bright igniting the skyline as stars collide before your now open eyes, vision granted, now you are eternal for you transcend the illusive construct of time which leaves you alive in the present, here, now, for there be nothing more or less than this.

Finally you arrive, the destination no longer fleeing from you, no longer pursuing but living, fully immersed in the depth of this creation as it is in the complexity of its simplicity.

To fear insanity is to become insane, for sanity as it is sold remains but the suppression of one’s self as a means to become part of the mould, part of that which be not aligned with your truth for this is to step into your power and reveal yourself as you are.

Behind these masks are stories untold, laughter unheard and beauty to behold, yet shamed we are for revealing ourselves fully in love, for this be the power that allows the demons to become angelic symbols of glory that glow as we do once we embrace the fullness of our magic in the entirety of our flawed perfection.

Unveil your madness and descend into the depths of hell to ascend fully beyond the blue skies amongst the clouds of limitless potential that can make even the mundane magical, find beauty in solitude and imagination, break free from the judgments and allow yourself to see more than appears to be true to you, to express all that be you, speak with the child inside and bring life to this life.

Greatness is found in defying the old to make way for the new, allow expansion through your inner world, transforming perceptions, shifting dimensions as timelines merge into iridescent singularity, uniting opposing perspectives that synchronise into the singular expression of what was once duality, now nothing but an incredible manifestation of oneness throughout the universe that lays inside, you.

Then, have a cup of tea and soak up the magic as you come back down to earth's surface now grounded in serenity and beauty, liberated from the seriousness of life and free to thrive in the awe inspiring delight of your own presence, no longer alone, forever grateful for each breath that fills your lungs with air, flowing like the rivers through the mountains along the beautiful beds that lay beneath the rapids.

This feeling, no longer yours to pursue but yours to live through, as though a new lens has replaced the old on the camera that captures the memories of your experience. Lightened is the load that once burdened you with resentment & hatred, with guilt & shame, no more fear for that which held you down now forgiven and burned in the flames of the past.

May you find the grace to create the safe space required to embrace all that be you, for those pieces of your spirit you believe to be less than are truly the qualities that make you SHINE, that make you perfect through the eyes of those who are capable of seeing MAGIC.

Love yourself fully, own your truth, allow the emotions that overwhelm you to come through and release that which no longer belongs, for there is more to come than that which has been and there is more life in the now that you allow yourself to see.

Love,

J