The Realization of The Relationship you didn't realize you have. Your Job.

Boss: "Last three meetings you brought up being afraid of "being fired", Why? Why?

As I tried to speak, she interrupted with another "why?", with a friendly concerning voice.

I expressed to her, "You know I'm an honest guy."

She listened intently as I explained the childhood hurt of being left by an important parental figure.

How because of the abandonment of this parent, it left me with a separation trauma. Even being a 35 year old man, I bring it into my adult life.

I brought it to my adult relationships and I had fucked up those relationships because I was trying to hang onto them.

I would love bomb, be too nice, try to get everyone to like me, and essentially, I was a "Pick Me" guy.

Same with my job. As I looked at my boss, I explained to her how my job and I are in a type of professional relationship. The last thing I want to do is lose this job because I do love my job.

To me, losing this job is just fucking up another relationship. And knowing it's my fault is too much for me to bear. Knowing that I was the reason for my previous relationships ending is too much if I'm the reason I lost my job.

It sickens me to realize that it could me that is wrong.

She nodded and understood what I was saying. She understood the trauma I explained.

She verbally explained to me that she understands me saying, "The job is a relationship". She explained that I am correct in that aspect. She explained that I need to raise my confidence and understand that I have value in not only as a worker, but as a human being.

She explained that she is a part of the GEN X generation and not to push my feelings to the side and to come off cold, but "If I continue to claim this trauma, then I won't be able to get over it. That my trauma doesn't describe or make me who I am."

I nodded in silence because I knew she was right. The problem is that I accept that I have this trauma. I know I have it and I need to heal from it. Once I heal, shake off this trauma, and learn my value...I'll be able to continue being me and not worry so much about losing things.

She continued to state that I do have value, not only has a human being, but as a worker there at my place of work. That the company agrees I have value, so they will continue to invest in me.

I thanked her for her candid speech. I needed that. I told her that whatever negativity comes to me, I change it into a positive. If I change it into a positive, then it can help me understand and help me not be traumatized.

The reason I'm sharing this story is because many of my readers don't understand their value. I'm not meaning your price tag, because each of you are priceless. I am meaning what your value is in this world. You are valuable to your kids, nieces and nephews, your mom and dad, cousins, family, parents, teachers, church, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, and any other person who loves you....see's your value.

I want you to bring a picture of a person whom you love in your mind. Imagine this person explaining to you how they are nothing and they don't know why you love them.

When you hear these words from them, how would you answer? How will you tell them what their value is to you? How will you explain that they are priceless to you? Imagine your answer. Now flip the coin. Your friend is looking at you. You just told your friend or loved one how you don't know how anyone loves you. Take your own words you would have told your loved one and put it on yourself.

We all have value. We all are loved. Even in our lowest times.