The Most Important Job I've Ever Had

A Tall Order

In 2014, I helped inspect the concrete for the largest continuous concrete pour in the world--at least it was when it was completed. I believe the record has been broken more than once since then. I was working as a special inspector in the construction industry at that time. It was my job to ensure that all of the concrete leaving the batching plant I was in charge of met the requirements of the project. I had to monitor the amount of water added and ensure that the inspectors at the building site were aware of how much water they were allowed to add without exceeding the allowable amount.

The concrete placed on that project became the foundation for the tallest building in the United States west of the Mississippi. Making sure all components of the concrete were within allowable tolerances of the mix design was what would ensure the safety and stability of the 73-story building that would be built on top of the foundation.

While participating in the project was a major responsibility, and I took my responsibility very seriously, I was not the only person who was responsible for inspecting the 83 million pounds of concrete for the foundation. I wasn’t even the only person responsible for inspecting the truckloads of concrete that left my batching plant. There was another inspector at the building site who also tested the concrete.

I really enjoyed doing my inspection job and I found it exciting when I had to run back and forth from the batching office to the concrete trucks to keep up with the pace of the batchmaster. Even the responsibility of public safety that rested on my shoulders, though, did not qualify my inspection job as my greatest contribution to the world.

I have done a variety of jobs throughout my life. I’ve worked in restaurants, nursing homes, on ranches, and even delivering newspapers. In spite of taking care of even the most basic needs for humans and animals, though, if I had chosen not to do those jobs someone else would have done them. In fact, even the jobs I was most passionate about found someone to replace me when I decided to move on.

The only job that I have ever had where I felt I am actually irreplaceable and necessary is my job as a parent. Not everyone would consider parenting a job, but I look at it that way because it is the most important and rewarding thing I have ever or will ever do. Most people define their lives by their jobs, and I’m pretty sure in the end it will be the experience that is foremost in my mind.

Parenting: a job description

First of all, let's talk about what qualifies parenting as a job. It is, of course, a commitment that you take on when you choose to bring a child into the world. But the fact remains that it is still a job one decides to do. Some people who get the job do not want it, and choose to let others have the position. Others want the job, but are only able to get it if someone else elects not to do it--even then they can only get the job if they meet strict criteria which do not apply to everyone. Considering all of this, perhaps the hiring process is a little flawed.

Next, let’s discuss the training program. There is not one central, universal training program for parenting. Things that work for one parent will not necessarily work for other parents. Unfortunately, people who try to help with your training do not necessarily understand that. These voluntary “Parenting Trainers'' can be anyone from your own parents to random people in the store who feel entitled to point out how you are failing as a parent. When it comes to raising your child, everyone believes they are more qualified than you are to decide what should be done. Hopefully these people are simply trying to help, rather than just being judgemental and pointing out your shortcomings. There are many books written about parenting, but even the most avid reader could not possibly read them all and evaluate their usefulness.

Another important consideration in looking at a job is the pay and benefits package. You will not receive a monetary salary. In fact, doing the job will actually cost you money. There is no paid time off or sick days. The only way you get any retirement plan is if your offspring is both able and willing to take care of you in your old age. Your compensation for doing the job is the pride and joy you will feel interacting with your child and watching him or her grow and change. Whatever you accomplish in your professional life will never even come close to the pride you feel in even the smallest of your child’s accomplishments.

In addition to the pride and joy you have as a parent you will also learn and grow as a result of what your child teaches you, if you are willing to learn. My son taught me to be more outgoing. I was so shy as a teenager and young adult that it pretty much paralyzed me in social situations. As soon as my son could talk, though, he would walk up to pretty much anyone he saw and strike up a conversation. He would see someone walking a dog and start a conversation with, “I really like your dog!” He would then proceed to chat with the dog owner like they were old friends. This, of course, meant that I also had to chat with the dog owner despite my discomfort. Over the course of time I became more and more comfortable talking to strangers we met in public. I am even able to start conversations with, or even just say “Hi” to, people I don’t know.

The hours you will work in a parenting job are much longer than most traditional jobs. You are basically “on call” 24 hours per day, seven days a week. Initially you must provide literally everything your child needs, even if it’s just attention sometimes. As your child grows he or she will require less time and attention, but even when they no longer need your help as often you will still watch from a distance, just in case.

Taking your job as a parent seriously is important no matter what stage of development your child is in. It is your responsibility to see that your child is ready to go out into the world and live without you when the time comes. He or she must be ready to make decisions, interact with people, and start to make his or her own contributions to the world. Those contributions could really be anything, but they might include having children. Your child will undoubtedly use your model of parenting as a guide for how they parent their own children. They will use methods they believe were beneficial and avoid those they believe were not, developing their own style as they go. This cycle will continue, which means that even after you are gone your influence on the world will continue.

My Legacy

Whether or not I ever accomplish anything in my work life that rivals the largest continuous concrete pour in the world, I will always see my son as my greatest, and most lasting, contribution to the world. I know I have made a lot of mistakes and there are definitely things I would do differently, but I feel like I have done a lot of things right. At sixteen years old my son is a much more pleasant person to be around than I was at his age. He has put in the hard work and dedication required to become a blackbelt in Krav Maga. He has given to others selflessly when he had very little to give, and he shows a great deal of gratitude every single time I do anything for him.

I lost my job at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. I was “laid off temporarily” until I received a severance package a month later. I received a paper in the package that showed which employees (without names) had been terminated and which ones were being reassigned or kept by the company. Even though everyone in my position was terminated I still felt shunned because some employees were kept on. Over the course of the pandemic I continued to receive one rejection after another as I continued to apply for jobs. I only recently got my first interview after putting in an embarrassing number of applications. I didn’t get the job, but I got a second interview less than a week later and I was hired within a few days!

The only thing that kept me from feeling a lack of purpose and meaning through my long period of unemployment was being able to look at parenting as my job. I will forever treasure being able to spend more time with my son during the quarantine. I feel like the time has helped me discover the true meaning of my existence.