The Lie

This is not a story that will inspire you. Just felt like I should warn those who wish to read about my life. You will get nothing out of this, but hey, read if you wish. I am a recently single 21-year old woman in college, living with her parents, and working at the coffee shop by the campus. I wish I can say I was working there to pay for a degree I liked but the truth is, I am not. I am a computer science major that was "strongly suggested" by my parents because the major will land you a job that pays a lot and that alone will automatically make you happy. By their logic it should anyway. I stayed in the major for 2 years and somehow I am shocked that I do not like the major that was chosen for me. To make it all worse, my high school sweetheart broke up with me. Some summer this turned out as, well, that's what I thought at first.

I laid in bed for 20 minutes then decided to get up. I can't stay in bed today, I have work. I feebly walked to my bathroom to face my biggest challenge, doing my hair. I had just entered when I heard someone call out to me. I looked around but I did not see anything. "It was probably my mother," I thought to calm myself, but I looked at my mirror and my heart fell to the floor. My reflection was leaning in real close in the mirror yelling, "Dummy! Don't you hear me?" She must've seen my reaction because she then said, "Wait, don't freak.." But I did not listen, I freaked out and ran at top speed out of my bathroom while slamming the door behind me. My father rushed in and after noticing my terror asked, "Whats wrong? Tell me!" I couldn't speak, I was frozen in fear on the floor. A voice spoke out from my bathroom, "I told you not to freak out." I whipped my head to my father to see if he heard what I heard but he just stared me down. "He can't hear me, go figure huh?" the voice said. My father just shook his head and said, "Stop messing around if nothing is bothering you, you scared me half to death!" He walked right out my room to tell my mother, who just showed up at my door, what happened. After he shut the door, I stood up again to ready myself to confront my unwanted visitor in my mirror. I mean, she looked like me and sounded like me; it was so eerie to see but I have to know what they were. I opened my bathroom door slightly. "Finally, you came back. To be fair, I would run too if I saw someone as beautiful as me," my voice had said to me. "Who are you, or what are you." I asked in response. "I'm you, stupid. I would have introduced myself but you ran off like you never seen yourself before." I came in the bathroom fully but still cautious of what I see. I just can't believe this, why is myself talking back to me? Why couldn't my father hear her? I must be hallucinating, yes I have got to be. I ignored my reflection and decided to just ask my mother to do my hair for me. My reflection tried several times to get my attention but I left. It'll be gone by the time I got back home from work.

I just couldn't stop replaying that morning's event in my head. Normally it is mundane, even more so now that my ex boyfriend is no longer in my life, but this was fun in a odd way. Maybe that means I need to leave my house more. Anyway, my shift seemed to rush by and before I knew it, I was on my way home. "Things will be normal now," I thought, but for some reason, it hurt to feel that way. I walked in my home, muttered hey to my parents, and went straight to my room. I looked at the bathroom door but I heard nothing. I continued staring hard at it, so hard I feel like the door would turn away in intimidation if it could. No sound. I place my things down and sat on my bed. I was scrolling on social media, looking at friends and cousins either living their dreams or showing off their happiness in their study in college. I still liked the posts and left comments like, "Oh I am so happy for you," or, "Look at you, I know you must be proud!" I soon as I commented though I quickly left the app. I am happy for them, I just wish that I could feel the accomplishment they did too. I put on my scarf and played a video till I went to sleep. Another day came, but still no voice from the bathroom when I awoke. I went in too but my reflection was the same as it had been. I moped about, went to work, came back, and still nothing. It was like this for almost a month, me expecting myself to come and bring excitement to me again just to be let down in the end. This morning, however, was different. I faintly heard my voice from the bathroom. I jumped up from my sleep and my bed, running to the bathroom to see my reflection. She stood with her arms folded looking at me. She was back. I cried and asked, "Where have you been? I am sorry for ignoring you before." "Do you still not get it?" my reflection said to me. "I am the inner you, the voice you suppress till you need her again. You ignored me far before then. You did not listen when I told you to not choose a major based off your parents and you did anyway. I told you to do the things that made you happy and yet you ignored me and did whatever made someone happy. You don't even look at your dream journal do you," she said nodding to the little, black book on my bookshelf. She was right, and I knew that. "But what am I to do? I can't stop now, I have to keep going." I said in response. "Who said that it was too late for you to turn back? As long as you never start, you'll never know where it'll lead you. Take a chance, that is all I came to say. Do it for yourself. It is okay for you to, don't let anyone make you think otherwise. You know I will always root for you." my reflection said before morphing to how I was standing. I cried, and I cried a long time. All I needed was for someone to tell me that it was okay to have my dreams and pursue them too and I did, myself.

It took hard work and it a lot of strength but I dropped out of school and left my job. My parents, despite what I had known all of my life, actually supported my decision. I never felt so free in so long. I took my little, black book and wrote down my plan to achieve my dream of being a writer, every single step. I even created an account to document my journey to uplift others as well. I wrote my first book and though it flopped, I was very proud. A follower of mine saw my video on journey and messaged me personally saying how much I helped them. It truly made my heart melt. But what shocked me even more is that the very follower had donated $10,000 to an account I set up for those who wished to. The note attached said, "Thank you for being the one who listened and believed in me." So what I said in the beginning, that this is not a story to inspire? Yeah, I hope it is a lie for you. I hope that the statement couldn't have been more wrong. I desire nothing more than to see you succeed and listen to yourself, so please do.