The Importance of A Motherly Touch

When you think of a motherly love, what comes into mind? A mother who can comfort you and that you can rely on when things get emotionally, financially, and physically tough. Where you are down in your luck. Just kidding, I am not going to rhyme; this isn’t a poetry, this is an article. All jokes aside, I had raising questions about motherhood from a daughter’s standpoint, the question I will be answering in this article is, “if my mother was not in my life or ever there for me, do I have to love her?” The answer will be no, you do not have to. I believe that there is an option within a human being that differentiate an animal to a human. Humans was given the ability to make decisions and given the ability to go through those life decisions. If a human was to say, ‘hey, I do not love you because you were not in my life all these years’ then yes, they have the right to do so. Also, a human was given the ability to prove their trust and love to another human being, right? When a baby is born with their crowning heads and crying energy through the vigorous labor pains of a woman, they are wrapped in a hospital blanket and given to the woman and she embraces her new born with a lot of hugs and kisses. Did you know that if a baby is not embraced by a human touch of a mother or a father, it will stunt the baby’s growth? Or even lose weight and potentially die? It is important for human survival if the baby receives all the love and care. Once the woman touches the baby and gives the knowledge that the baby is in the love and care of someone’s arms for eternity then they know who to love and trust. That is when the woman who gave birth to the baby proves that this is in fact a start of an everlasting relationship. This is the start of motherhood.

My mother is a prime example of a woman who was always there for me and my 3 sisters. Yes, this beautiful strong soul gave birth to beautiful and strong women. I am the second oldest of the 4 bunches and I am so humbly grateful to be in the arms of such a beautiful, honest, strong, and most humble woman I know. I am not saying this because she is my mother and was a single mother for most of my childhood. I am saying this because I grew to know the person who birth me and gave me the life. She used to tell me stories before she had birth me and she always had been that way. She was born to love and care for another human being; my grandma can vouch for that. I was fortunate to have a mother like her, she is not only my mother but my best friend. She really had to gain my love and trust because for me, I wasn’t so trusting. I think it was during my adolescent years where I used to keep two journals about what I felt. I was young and my body was changing in so many ways, I would’ve said in my journal that I hated life in general. I would’ve randomly said I hated puppies. Who doesn’t love puppies? Well, my mother did not know how to read much English, which was a bonus for me because I did not want her to open up my journal and read it. So being typical sisters, my sisters had read my journal to my mother. I was outraged and so mad at my mother for telling my sisters to go snooping into my space and read the journal for her. In the beginning of my high school years, I had a mega crush on a Marine guy who was triple my age, so being a mother, I knew why she was so concerned. I talked a lot about him and how I hated my mother for opposing me and him, thinking that me and him would ever have a chance. I was only 15 years old! He was in his mid-20’s! What was I thinking? Looking back that was pretty ridiculous. She had found out that I was still head over heals with this guy. I will call him, Jake. I will never be revealing the real names in this article, because people have identities. So, me and my mother had a huge argument about the whole issue. I think I said I hated my mom for stopping me from loving an older man. Now, that I’m older I knew that Jake and I was a false fantasy my mom was smart enough to stop.

Trust goes both ways in life and I had to learn it the hard way. When my mom had did that to me, I didn’t think I would trust her again but it began when understanding all she wanted to do was to be closer to me. I was so closed up when my dad left my mom, my sisters, and I. I kept to myself a lot to the point where I was suicidal. Once you have matured and understand the other side. I guess when I become a mother then I will truly understand the reason why my mom did what she did. I would have to forgive her because before my adolescents years and during my adolescent years she always physically and financially been there for me. She was trying to be there for me emotionally but I was just not letting her in. Trust doesn’t come easy with me because of my father leaving but I eventually trusted my mother. Sadly, on how human social studies works is that the trust definitely has to be earned.

The main question is, should I love a mother when the mother is not in their lives, and I said no but if you choose to then remember that love and trust is supposed to be earned. There are people who will tell you “Of course it is your mother” but it didn’t work with me and my mom so how is it going to work with a mother who was never in their kid’s lives?