The Death of a Creative Soul (AKA Why I Can't Work a Nine to Five)

Alarm rings at five, you wake up half dead from what feels like almost zero sleep. In a zombie like state you walk to the bathroom, you brush then shower and get ready for another of the exact same day at work. Driving to and from work is probably the best part of the day, alone with your thoughts, loud music blaring, you’re probably speeding, not because you want to get to work faster but because that’s probably the most thrill you’re going to get in the whole day. You park about 15 mins early, but just sit in the car thinking, is the money really worth wasting another precious day of your life? But you push through those thoughts and eventually get to work. The tasks at hand are so easy and monotonous that a monkey could be trained to do them, still you put on a poker face and get started. Not even an hour into the shift you’re done with your tasks, so what do you do? You find ways to appear busy, banters with your workmates help keep that last bit of sanity in you. You wish for time to go faster, but a watched pot never boils, and then finally, after what feels like eternity, the work day comes to an end. The drive home brings back a bit of joy and thrill in you, save for that time you’re driving behind the loser driving at 40 in a 60 zone. You get home and cook and clean and watch some TV or read, and get into bed at 9:30 to not feel so sleepy the next day, but wait, you still have to battle the demon that is insomnia! Exhausted with your existential thoughts, sleep finally arrives at 3:30, just for the alarm to ring 5.

It’s the same exact story day in and day out, but continuously waiting for Friday to come and be over, just, kinda sucks. It makes me really think, what is it that I get out of this job? What is it that I can do if I left? Is there a better way to live and earn money? Is there something else I could be doing that won’t slowly murder my soul?

School prepares us to be corporate drones, or workers for the idea-makers, but that isn’t all that we are, we have passions and feelings and ideas. We are more than this nine to five world, a world where we are constantly on the clock, even when your workplace wants to create a “work-life balance,” there isn’t ever going to be, because let’s be honest, THERE IS NO SUCH THING. Especially when you’re surrounded by toxic managers who have no limits that they would not cross to have their way, and prove to their seniors that they are worth the position they’re in (harsh truth; they are NOT!)

So, where do we go from here? Is quitting really an option? Because this world is expensive and money is a necessity (even though you can technically live on WAY less than you imagine), but what about our wants? How do we give ourselves all the things that our heart desires? You want to be creative and sell your art, or act/direct, or write a bestselling book, or open a business, but that one-in-a-million, diamond-in-the-rough (whaddup Aladdin reference!) kind of idea just… isn’t coming to you. It all seems like a never-ending limbo.

So, can you do it? The answer is yes. Yes, you can. You can take the other way, a way that we haven’t been taught, a path not tread upon, the road not taken, if you will. It will be hard, you probably won’t be able to spend as much as you’re used to, because nothing good ever comes easy in life, but at least this will lead to a life of less regrets, and that is where true happiness lies. I mean, would you rather pay a mortgage and end up owning the property one day, or continuously pay rent and never own a place? In the same sense, would you rather work hard with the same long work hours, day in and out, but on something of your own, something that will be your legacy one day or would you work to make someone else’s dream a reality?