The Alberta Government Strikes Again

At coffee this morning, there was some rather vibrant talk around the table of the Alberta Government and its latest dealings with teachers in the province. This discussion led, of course, to a replay of a conversation held on a previous date around the same coffee table in the same restaurant. If I recollect correctly, I think it all went something like this.

“Pass that fake milk over here will ya please Mike.”

“There is no fake milk over here Bob. Only this moldy looking, cancer-causing off-white powder.”

“That’s the stuff I want Mike. Pass that over to me.”

“Well, I don’t know if you really want to be putting that into your coffee Bob. It doesn’t look healthy.”

“C’mon will you Mike. I remember when you used to snort stuff that looked worse than that.”

“Yeh, I know, but look what it did to me. Here help yourself. I hope you enjoy your early departure from this old world. Remember to leave money for you coffee before you drop dead.”

Finally, one of the old boys asked, “Is this the same Alberta government that put forward the thoughtless, misguided and ridiculously uninformed proposal that their province leave Canadian confederation to become their own sovereign jurisdiction?”

“That would have been fun to watch on CBC News for the next century or more as the whole mass failure unfolded into a state of collapse. No rational thought ever so much as approached that particular suggestion,” chimed in Andy.

Bob from over on Maple Street (yes, the very same Bob who wanted the fake milk powder) added, “No surprise then, that now Alberta educators have been legislated back to work by that same misguided government. Shame on the Alberta Premier and party MLAs who have apparently been watching too much American political mayhem. It seems as if the moves they make are simply modeled after the chaotic and dictatorial behaviors of that president what's-his-name, you know with the orange hair, down south, and his current brow-beaten ship of fools.”

Not to remain silent on the whole matter, I put in my two cents worth, “as a former Canadian teacher with both Saskatchewan and British Columbia credentials, I whole-heartedly stand with Alberta teachers in their dealings with a government, who should, in good faith, bargain with them to achieve the best results for students, teachers, parents and all stakeholders in that province's school system.”

Our entire table of friends and neighbours concluded that Alberta is basically all treaty land. Everyone of us agreed that if the present provincial government decides to abandon the rules and regulations set up amongst the federal, provincial and first nations governments, the Indigenous nations get first dibs on just about every natural resource in the land area of Alberta (say good-bye to your oil industry Premier Smith), as well as first dibs on HOW the new government is set up (unless, of course, Ms. Smith is willing to spend decades of time and money in court to iron out a new deal). She would be long retired, pensioned off, put in an elderly care home and dead and buried before that whole mess could possibly be settled. If Premier Smith figures Alberta will have anything left after all that happens to fund this new independent jurisdiction of hers (or somebody else’s more likely), she needs to give her head a shake and snap out of it. Any program that the provincial government of Alberta funds presently will have to suffer major cut-backs to divert all available funds into paying for the province's independence. Good-bye schools, roads and health-care. So long Flames, Stampeders, Oilers and Elks. Connor McDavid will look good in a Maple Leafs uniform. And finally, if Canada decides to toughen up on immigration laws, Albertans may have a heck of a time getting out across the border in an effort to flee the madhouse of flames that Smith seems reluctant to extinguish.

“Pass the damn sugar will you Pete.”

“Yeh Bob, you need some sweetening up, ya old sourpuss!!”