Spiraling, Surviving, and Softening

The Spiral Begins

Let’s be honest: the early twenties are not a vibe, they’re a full-blown existential rave with no dress code, no playlist, and definitely no exit strategy.

I entered my twenties like most people do: armed with ambition, a vague sense of direction, and a suitcase full of unrealistic expectations. What followed was a masterclass in spiraling.

I spiraled through majors, through jobs, through cities. I spiraled through friendships that felt like home and heartbreaks that felt like hurricanes. I spiraled through identity crises, career pivots, and the occasional 3 a.m. Google search: “What is my purpose and why does my LinkedIn profile look like a scavenger hunt?”

In 2023, I did something wild, I migrated from Africa to the United States. Not for a vacation. Not for a semester abroad. I packed up my life, my dreams, my fears, and my favorite hair bonnet, and I crossed oceans to start again.

Suddenly, I was the new girl again who was navigating cultural codes, decoding accents, and learning to say “y’all” without sounding like a fraud. But it was also liberating. I got to redefine myself outside the expectations I grew up with. I get to build a life that is starting to feel like mine again.

Lessons from the Spiral

Here’s the thing about spiraling: it’s not just chaos. It’s curriculum.

Every misstep taught me something. Every awkward networking event, every failed job interview, every moment I felt like an imposter in my own skin, it all added layers to my character.

I learned that:

• Resilience isn’t just bouncing back. It’s rebuilding with better bricks.
• Curiosity is a superpower.
• Asking the right questions (even if they’re uncomfortable) is how you find the right answers.
• Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is admit you have no idea what you’re doing and keep going anyway.

My twenties were a buffet of career experiments. I dabbled in tech, flirted with academia, and even considered becoming a full-time poet (until I realized poetry doesn’t pay rent).

I built websites, wrote research papers, and tried to make sense of public discourse in a world that often feels allergic to nuance. Each role taught me something new and not just about the work, but about myself.

I discovered I thrive in spaces where empathy meets logic, where storytelling meets structure, and where I can use both my brain and my heart.

The Calm After the Spiral

Now, at 25, I’m not claiming to have it all figured out. But I’ve stopped spiraling. I’ve started grounding.

I’ve learned to sit with uncertainty without letting it consume me. I’ve learned to celebrate progress, not perfection. And I’ve learned that balance isn’t something you find. It’s something you build.

So if you’re in your early twenties and everything feels like a mess, good. That means you’re alive. That means you’re learning. That means you’re becoming.

And trust me, when the spiral slows down, the view from 25 is worth it.

If you’ve ever felt like your twenties were a chaotic mixtape of ambition, confusion, and unexpected plot twists, drop a comment. Let’s normalize the spiral. And if you’re somewhere in the middle of your own migration, career pivot, or identity reboot, I see you. Keep going.

What’s one lesson your twenties taught you that you didn’t expect?