So Long Sucker

Chantal Christie

England, UK

29th August 2025

Limiting Bullshitting Beliefs Inc

Family Dysfunction Dept.

Worldwide

Reference: It's Never Too Late to Change

To the powers that be, or not to be,

After much deliberation, self-reflection, and healing, I have decided to withdraw from the role of 'playing small' in this world. Enough is enough; there's only so much lack of worth I can give myself, and doing this for almost five decades is more than enough dumb loyalty, on my behalf!

The mental outfits I've been forced to wear in this role are not only demeaning and outdated, but dangerously tight. They never looked good on me, I can see that now. They were embarrassing, cringeworthy, and always impossibly awkward.

But now, well now, my eyes have been opened to this crazy position I had allowed myself to be in, and for far too long. And to be honest, I hadn't even willingly volunteered to take on its self-perpetuating beliefs. I was unwittingly coerced, blindsided, or, for want of a better word: emotionally extorted.

I only originally complied because I wasn’t old enough to refuse, and too naïve and new to the world, to understand how it all works. I had to survive, and that meant playing safe with my caregivers. Still, in doing so, I pushed my authenticity deep down, and as the years rolled by, I forgot she ever existed. That's until now, but the consequences of that earlier faux pas had allowed huge self-doubts and intense fear to emerge as a phoenix overpowering my actions.

And the truth is, my trusted caregivers lived all their lives from the same unconscious, demoralizing inheritance, and took it upon themselves to hand down to me this sad little legacy. They were none the wiser. The same limiting roles, same ancestral line: pay it forward, and all of that. But sod that, that's not living. That's not thriving. It's bleak, and over time, it's been as destructive as a wildfire brazenly burning through my life.

I'm tired of falling into the 'comparing of myself' to others and coming up insignificant and small—the fact that I own nothing, in relation to their houses and cars, and trips away; I never add up. I won't lie, it is hard to be in this place, especially at my age—a place of new beginnings. Life has taken me down so many dirt roads, and I never thought I would be where I am now—back at the start.

But this has been the place that has humbled me and taught me to be still, to self-reflect, to focus, and start to learn how to love who I am at the core, not what I own or how much I earn (a position I could easily hide my shadow behind). This is the place I learnt my soul is eternal, and that whatever I accomplish will eventually perish, yet who I am at source is forever, and a legacy I leave to those who are close to me. And God loves me.

And playing small was a role I only inadvertently continued, because I believed I didn't matter; after all, I couldn't ever compare in the way the West instills value. And I played small, because I was once filled with shame, and heard the enemy whisper, many times, "Who do you think you are! Just look at yourself, you're hopeless, ugly, fat, and a loser; you'll never be anything in this world!"

My answer now really is, "I'm not fussed by your rules anymore!"

So, what if others judge how I look, or how cheesy my social media reels look? I resign from feeling like I'm stupid. Who cares if the reel is dumb or unprofessional? Or the piece I wrote, drowned in a sea of information. A risk has been set out, and that is the courageous part—that's playing big!

That's my new role: taking the steps of courage. Courage isn’t about feeling courageous; it’s about taking action, despite how scared I feel. Yes, I am scared, but I'd feel more stuck and unhappy listening to your indoctrinated bullshit than not choosing to take action each day, even if these actions have been taking their time to unfold into fruition.

As I come to the end of this letter, I confirm, from a place of wisdom, that I see the fabricated stories built into this misleading contract. I confirm that playing small had imposed so many nasty limiting beliefs. I hope you can see from my point of view, yet should you decide not to, I can see through you now, and so your answer can sing in the wind! Please don't reply.

And to add, quite frankly, your department stinks. It should be detonated and made obsolete. But I don’t make the rules up here; I will just keep lovingly reminding myself each day: it’s never too late to change.

I would like to say it’s been a pleasure playing small for you, but I am unable to lie as easily as it is for you!

So long, and regards

Chantal Christie Weiss

(Human Being Not A Human Doing)

© Chantal Weiss 2025. All Rights Reserved