Slowly finding my peace

Earlier this year, a lot of stuff happened to me.

I had some medical stuff that came up at the start of the year, and I was in the worst pain I have ever been in. Then my partner started to get sick, and we started to have to see specialists (we still haven't gotten to the bottom of things, and it's been 6 months of searching for answers). Work got really bad to the point where I was seeing a therapist, psychologist, and counsellor at least once a week. I nearly had a mental breakdown because of work, and that can almost all be blamed on one person (who will never admit she was wrong). Then things started to shift. I let go. I gave up on a job I really loved for a company that I did believe in, but I had left a legacy. I am proud of the legacy I left and am proud to have been a part of the company when I was because I crossed paths with some amazing people (who I hope I get to work with again). But things weren't right there and have continued to go downhill from what I've heard. I took some time off to heal.

10 weeks of healing time. 10 weeks of rotting in my PJ's most days. But also 10 weeks of reflecting, growing, and figuring out what my next steps would be. 10 weeks seems like a long time, but it will fly by like nothing if you let it. In that time, I did a few interviews and had some really good chats with people in industries I thought I was interested in, only to come out feeling uninspired. Even when I was inspired, I got ghosted a lot, and those companies will now forever leave a bad taste in my mouth. I figured a lot of things out during those 10 weeks. I found my spark again—the spark that had died a while ago. The last few weeks have been a little chaotic by comparison, but it feels like I have made good decisions. I have started a new role and am settling in; my work feels like it's being appreciated again, and things are looking up. I'm feeling more and more like I'm getting my creative flow going again without having to force things. I feel like I'm going to be able to create again.

My passion for what I do is coming back. My motivation is back. I've been tracking my mood and feelings since the start of the year, and for the first time in a while, it's not a 2/5. Okay, it's not as high as it should be, but every week it gets better. I'm sleeping better. My mental health is doing a lot better than it was six months ago. This time last year, I was on the verge of burnout and really didn't feel like I could go on anymore. I can breathe easily now. I'm excited for what the next chapter of my career holds. And even if I always have a soft spot for my old job, I know it's not what I signed up for; it changed too much, and I'm happy to have moved on.

I can't wait to explore a new industry. I will be doing a lot more behind-the-scenes stuff, but I'm excited to learn new things and have an outside-the-box perspective that maybe they haven't seen before. Some of the partners we are working with are really cool and have been on my list of companies I want to work with for a long time. I'm excited for the future. I'm excited to create more for myself as well.