Remember.

February 1st 2021

Dear journal,

The one before you had so much suffering in her pages. Reading back on them I can clearly see the cycles I was enduring. The surfacing of painful trauma and the unearthing of ugly truths. The bubbling up of emotions buried deep until the pain was so intense, I had no choice but to let them go.

Once I did, I could feel the sun again, but just long enough to take a deep breath; trying to grasp onto the peace like bits of sand escaping through a closed hand in the ocean. And then the familiar rising of deep shadows within, screaming and rattling at their cages.

Over and over.

It wasn’t very lovely.

A few days ago, all of a sudden, I realized I had let go of so much weight that I felt like a feather. The light feeling is enough to make me believe in miracles again.

Like being a child; back when I knew who I was. Being loud, wild and free. Taking up space. Knowing I was powerful and able to create beauty all around me, in any way I wanted, just by using my mind. I believed, truly believed, that I could do anything. I knew I was meant for something big, and that I was good.

What is that “something big” that I am meant for?

February 22nd 2021

Crazy dream!!!

I was in the backyard of my childhood home. I take a step and feel a pain shoot through my foot. Upon looking down I see the entire ground is covered in rose bushes, but mostly thorns. And then I heard a soft voice.

“Child.”

I look up to see a woman. Her features sharp like a diamond. Dark hair, in a messy pixie cut and eyes so blue and piercing. The woman doesn’t open her mouth, but I can hear her.

“They haven’t found my body. My family needs to know.”

She looked into me so intently that my soul felt naked.

“Please write.” She tells me.

And then she hands me this exact journal.

The longer I wrote the more rose petals I began to see grow along the vines, so soft and plush, until it didn’t hurt to stand anymore.

She then disappeared leaving me in a field of sweet smelling silk and clutching this little black book.

February 23rd 2021

Dear journal,

I might be losing my mind.

I am having a hard time even writing this but here we go...

I went to the gym yesterday and saw something on the news that grabbed my attention. It was a missing persons case about a woman named Lorane. Journal...she looks exactly like the lady from my dream.

There is no possible way... right?

Logic says no, but a voice so strong and steady within me says yes.

If it actually is the same missing woman, then I know exactly where she is.

And know who got her there.

February 6th 2021

Dear journal,

I did it.

I took you down to the police station and showed them the information from the woman in my dream.

At first they looked at me as if they were going to admit me somewhere padded. The more details I shared, however, the more I could feel the energy change. I just knew, deep in my soul,that the information was hitting truths about the case that not many people knew.

And now we wait...

March 12th 2021

I am finally able to see clearly enough to write without tears blurring everything. Tears from happiness and amazement. I can’t stop clutching at my heart to keep it from exploding.

They found her.

Because of the information I provided.

They found her under a rose bush.

I dreamt of her last night. We stood on the pink carpet again.

“My family can be at peace now.” She said.

“Thank you.”

She hugged me so tightly that I can still feel the heat of it.

When she left, I began to see the figure of a man appear. And then a small boy. I then saw a dog and a a few cats appear.

The man walked up to me and handed me you. He smiled patiently.

And then I woke up.

I woke up knowing my purpose.

As if this wasn’t an impossible amount of miracles already, I got another call from the police station today. I was informed that the reward for helping to find Lorane is 20,000 dollars...

I have discovered something through this that I will never forget.

We are all magic. Life is magic.

We just have to remember.