Remember These Tips Before Calling In To Work To Play Hookie

Even the best of the type-A personalities can have a bad run. You know the type. They've never missed a day, always the earliest to arrive, and are haled by the bosses as their most productive employees. They're the know it, seen it, and done it all men and women that everybody loves. I once had a boss that told me in his office, as he complained about having to deal with someone that got caught ditching work if you're going to do it "stay out of places people might see you, and stay off Facebook." It was good advice to say the least, even if it wasn't the most professional view for my boss to share with me. Later on down the line, he left over a failed drug test, but that's a different story.

There are a few things in the world that people who skip work successfully must be aware of, and a few that rank amateurs should take note of.

DON'T POST EVENTS ON SOCIAL MEDIA IN REAL TIME

I had a buddy that worked for me. He was, by all accounts, a hell of a good guy. He was a good husband, a better father, and a decent friend. We all liked working with him. The one thing that we all accepted early on was that he wasn't very dependable. He'd worked for other supervisors first, and I had heard all the stories. It was such a running joke that he would call in or be gone on certain days that he was the star of conspiracy stories about him ditching work.

One of the lessons that he learned, taught to him by yours truly, was that Facebook and his wife were his own worst enemy. People live their lives on Facebook and social media. Where it goes wrong is when your bosses and work buddies are all on your list of friends. So when you can't come to work because there's something else happening, or if it's a miserable day, even a day that ends in y, keep your adventure off of social media. Record it for later, keep it out of the public eye, but putting it up in real-time is a good way to find yourself headed to the boss's office and by then that office was mine.

THINK, AND DON'T OVERUSE AN EXCUSE

Your excuses are an art form, especially for those in the bunch whose absenteeism is prolific. My favorite excuses are the old classics. The ones that really can't be disproven are the ones that stand the test of time. But, show care in how you use them, which ones that you choose, and how often you bring them back out of your ditching work trick bags.

Ms. K is a master in the art of the excuse. Sure, she's had legitimate reasons to miss work. Like everyone, she's been sick, her children have taken ill, and she's suffered her fair share of tragedies. So, one day when the boss called me into his office, to discuss her attendance, I realized she'd pulled one excuse excessively. My boss took out all of her leave slips from before she worked for me. He had me go thru them all, telling me to look for any oddities. That's when I noticed it, her one repetitive excuse.

Ms. K was a fortunate one, having had seven sets of grandparents. I sat thinking how great her genetics must have been, to have that many grandparents alive after the age of fifty-five. So I told my boss I'd look into it, and talk to her when I did. Fortunately for her, she was listed in the obituary. It was also the last funeral for her grandparents that she needed to get off work for.

WORK PARTIES ARE A NO-NO

Work parties are a bad plan if you've called in sick that day. In each group and clique, you'll have to watch out for what people will say to the bosses. Bosses that came up through the ranks, and there are usually a few, will still have friends below them. So if you ditch out on work and show up at a social event, that Monday morning meeting is something you'll need some luck with.

DON'T LIE TO THE BOSS

Things that you should remember when considering ditching work should include one final note. Don't lie when you're caught. Boss's value many things about an employee. Most of all they want to keep people they trust, the ones with good character. They've probably been where you are and learned from their mistakes.

So, when you've ditched that Friday, or that unfortunate Monday, and the boss calls you to the office. Wait for them to ask you, or perhaps tell you they know you ditched. Chances are you'll get a good verbal chewing, depending on your relationship with your boss. However, if you try to lie about something that they're asking you about, there's a chance they already know.