Midnight skies

Below is a short essay that profoundly reflects on a journey of self in form of an identity found in midnight skies.

In​ ​seconds,​ ​my​ ​vision​ ​was​ ​blurry.​ ​I​ ​was​ ​searching​ ​the​ ​midnight​ ​skies​ ​that​ ​are​ ​part​ ​of​ ​my​ ​universe. It​ ​reminds​ ​me​ ​of​ ​the​ ​endless​ ​darkness​ ​of​ ​the​ ​unknown​ ​when​ ​I​ ​was​ ​very​ ​young.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​impossible​ ​to connect​ ​to​ ​an​ ​identity.

​ ​A​ ​simple​ ​constellation​ ​in​ ​the​ ​vast​ ​skies​ ​creates​ ​a​ ​bridge​ ​between​ ​it​ ​and​ ​my​ ​life.​ ​Each​ ​Night​ ​I​ ​see the​ ​sky​ ​of​ ​bright​ ​stars.​ ​Dreamily,​ ​at​ ​gazed,​ ​I​ ​calmy​ ​breath​ ​in​ ​and​ ​out,​ ​the​ ​soothing​ ​air​ ​recycling​ ​inside​ ​my body​ ​I​ ​recall​ ​my​ ​life​ ​when​ ​I​ ​was​ ​very​ ​young.​ ​I​ ​was​ ​awakened​ ​by​ ​a​ ​simple,​ ​warm​ ​smile​ ​and​ ​joyful​ ​laughter from​ ​my​ ​grandmother.​ ​The​ ​promise​ ​of​ ​my​ ​dreams​ ​was​ ​formed​ ​on​ ​my​ ​grandmother’s​ ​innocence​ ​and naiveté.​ ​A​ ​kind​ ​woman​ ​of​ ​heart,​ ​nurtured​ ​me​ ​as​ ​a​ ​mother.​ ​The​ ​love​ ​that​ ​had​ ​nurtured​ ​me​ ​was​ ​torn​ ​away by​ ​a​ ​simple​ ​change;​ ​the​ ​death​ ​of​ ​my​ ​grandfather.​ ​A​ ​sudden​ ​responsibility​ ​was​ ​under​ ​the​ ​weight​ ​of​ ​my grandmother​ ​as​ ​she​ ​knew​ ​that​ ​she​ ​lost​ ​her​ ​own​ ​guide​ ​to​ ​life​ ​too.​ ​We​ ​both​ ​lost​ ​someone​ ​we​ ​cared​ ​about.​ ​I lost​ ​the​ ​person​ ​who​ ​loved​ ​me​ ​the​ ​most​ ​and​ ​I​ ​felt​ ​alone​ ​and​ ​isolated.​ ​There​ ​was​ ​no​ ​longer​ ​context​ ​to​ ​my life.​ ​The​ ​traditions​ ​I​ ​knew​ ​were​ ​all​ ​gone.​ ​An​ ​unclear​ ​path​ ​of​ ​darkness​ ​was​ ​all​ ​I​ ​saw.​ ​​ ​​ ​My​ ​brain​ ​wandered and​ ​crashed​ ​every​ ​day​ ​trying​ ​to​ ​do​ ​simple​ ​tasks.​ ​I​ ​had​ ​no​ ​common​ ​sense​ ​and​ ​no​ ​awareness​ ​of​ ​a​ ​spiritual life.​ ​The​ ​essence​ ​of​ ​living​ ​was​ ​a​ ​thought​ ​always​ ​on​ ​my​ ​mind.​ ​A​ ​belief​ ​of​ ​education​ ​was​ ​taught​ ​to​ ​me​ ​by my​ ​grandfather.​ ​That​ ​was​ ​the​ ​way​ ​and​ ​the​ ​United​ ​States​ ​offered​ ​it.​ ​I​ ​moved​ ​there​ ​with​ ​my​ ​grandmother.​ ​I was​ ​six​ ​years​ ​old.

A​ ​place​ ​of​ ​hopes,​ ​dreams,​ ​and​ ​luxurious​ ​living​ ​was​ ​all​ ​I​ ​saw.​ ​I​ ​felt​ ​my​ ​own​ ​pain​ ​as​ ​I​ ​wondered why​ ​I​ ​didn’t​ ​have​ ​it​ ​all.​ ​Having​ ​no​ ​parents​ ​was​ ​a​ ​difficult​ ​situation​ ​for​ ​me.​ ​​ ​I​ ​cried​ ​and​ ​prayed​ ​to​ ​have​ ​an easier​ ​life,​ ​but​ ​I​ ​had​ ​to​ ​stay​ ​strong​ ​and​ ​believe​ ​in​ ​myself.​ ​​ ​I​ ​realized​ ​I​ ​could​ ​only​ ​bring​ ​fulfillment​ ​to myself​ ​through​ ​dedication,​ ​hard​ ​work,​ ​and​ ​sacrifices.​ ​Being​ ​a​ ​born​ ​fighter​ ​with​ ​a​ ​passion​ ​for​ ​life​ ​led​ ​me​ ​to possibilities​ ​and​ ​dreams​ ​that​ ​are​ ​like​ ​the​ ​infinite​ ​universe.​ ​​ ​There​ ​are​ ​too​ ​many​ ​to​ ​achieve,​ ​yet​ ​it​ ​has brought​ ​me​ ​closer​ ​to​ ​a​ ​sense​ ​of​ ​who​ ​I​ ​am.

No​ ​born​ ​leader​ ​gives​ ​up​ ​on​ ​her​ ​hopes​ ​and​ ​dreams​ ​even​ ​if​ ​everyone​ ​tells​ ​her​ ​“NO!".​ ​I​ ​had​ ​to​ ​find​ ​my​ ​own​ ​way,​ ​and​ ​that​ ​has​ ​shaped​ ​who​ ​I​ ​am.​ ​​ ​Time​ ​progresses​ ​and​ ​so​ ​have​ ​I,​ ​just​ ​like​ ​the stars​ ​of​ ​the​ ​night​ ​sky.​ ​They​ ​have​ ​their​ ​shine​ ​with​ ​the​ ​most​ ​immense​ ​light​ ​that​ ​allows​ ​anyone​ ​from​ ​any place​ ​to​ ​see​ ​them.​ ​I​ ​was​ ​a​ ​star​ ​at​ ​birth,​ ​ready​ ​to​ ​fire​ ​and​ ​shoot​ ​up​ ​so​ ​brightly​ ​that​ ​everyone​ ​could​ ​see​ ​me from​ ​every​ ​angle​ ​of​ ​the​ ​sky.​ ​There​ ​is​ ​no​ ​one​ ​else​ ​to​ ​tell​ ​me​ ​who​ ​I​ ​am.​ ​I​ ​found​ ​out​ ​through​ ​a​ ​process​ ​of confusion,​ ​frustrations,​ ​and​ ​heartaches.​ ​How​ ​to​ ​embrace​ ​those​ ​challenges​ ​and​ ​challenge​ ​others​ ​to​ ​do​ ​so.​ ​I grieved​ ​for​ ​the​ ​events​ ​that​ ​occurred​ ​to​ ​me​ ​but​ ​even​ ​though​ ​​ ​I​ ​​ ​felt​ ​depleted​ ​from​ ​the​ ​challenges​ ​of​ ​my​ ​life. I​ ​had​ ​the​ ​burning​ ​fire​ ​that​ ​was​ ​felt​ ​in​ ​my​ ​heart​ ​a​ ​desire​ ​of​ ​a​ ​chance​ ​for​ ​change.

The​ ​times​ ​I​ ​have​ ​stared​ ​at​ ​the​ ​sky​ ​have​ ​reminded​ ​me​ ​that​ ​even​ ​stars​ ​have​ ​a​ ​cycle​ ​before​ ​they​ ​are the​ ​stars​ ​in​ ​the​ ​sky.

—This was my first writing reflection I had written and wanted to share with those who love to read short essays. I also am on a journey to improve my writing skills in English and any feedback is appreciated.—