Memories: 31 August 2025

31 August 2025

A good long sleep but a breathing backslide. A kick up the backside. I don’t care. Death is a given. Also after decades of trauma …a gift. Yet here I am… another day in Paradise.

What joy and delight, what magic shall I weave today? Sunday. Dunno! I will read another chapter of “The Hobbit” which somehow I feel comforting and enervating.

Reliving my favourite stories from childhood, my escape from my lived reality, delighting in the mythology and the teachings. Remembering my own Hobbitty ways. I have been down in the Hole too long. Time for adventures. Live fully and vibrantly and allow Love to protect, defend, nurture and cherish me. To walk with me on my unfurling Fibonacci journey through life.

Push me a little onto a new groove so I can break the repeat patterns of trauma, heartache and despair, to breathe the rarified air, excitement, anticipation and sheer astonishment of a new beginning…with equally astonished but brave hearts who align with me on our quest for our beautiful blessed lives.

Groovy, Babies! Let’s do It.

31 August 2024

Rocking out with Ramjet. Life is not.so.bad with The Brooklyn Standard and Everyone! Xxxx

31 August 2023

I was telling Ratih about my night out last weekend. In the middle of the story, I had an epiphany. George the Busker outside the casino who has been a friend of mine over the past 13 years since I started dancing at the casino, informed me about 6 or 8 weeks ago that I better be careful as “one of the homeless men might go psychotic and stab me!”

Theo overheard this and came up to embrace me and told me he would never hurt me. He kept hugging me tightly and lovingly and protectively.

I replied that I know he wouldn’t but that if someone decides to stab me while I am out somewhere, there is precious little I can do about it, as some things come down to Fate. That I have faced Death a multitude of times in my life and ultimately everyone dies…although I don’t relish actually being stabbed by someone.

In fact I have had dreams earlier this year about being stabbed and actually made a video on YouTube about it. In the dream it was a former friend from my Brisbane Jewish community that did it.

She stabbed me three times in my stomach but there was no blood. It was a horrific dream made even more horrific, as I see no reason why that particular woman would want to stab me.

But today I realised…the casino hierarchy did stab me…by easing me out on 5 August (only a few days after my beautiful Beauregard’s death, as I went dancing as is my usual routine, and to ameliorate some of my grief!) They were callow lowlevel scum dogs.

They have been increasing the sense of threat over recent months since I defended my Israeli friend Sigal who they accused of stealing. I stated loudly that she has mental health issues but has never been a thief. I knew then they would harass me to get rid of me for my open faced loyalty and decency. The filthy bloodless curs.

The manager of the Livewire bar is indeed female, and ironically her name is Amy (here is the connection to the woman in my dream whose daughter in real life is named Amy!)

So yes I was stabbed all right, and I didn’t bleed because it was a metaphorical “stabbing”. Bad mouthing me for 12 years in that scene, vicious sabotaging of any man I might show any interest in (which was so overtly done in front of my face in May when I met the nice young aboriginal man and sat and enjoyed his company and danced with him.)

The viciousness on display was so intense that I was actually deeply shocked but gifted the awful man that was mocking and deriding me, my infamous “death stare”. Never have I seen such primeval immature behaviours as I witnessed that night. Another cockamamie “stabbing”.

Palaczuk’s little verminous henchmen had to escalate to get rid of me. But those bastards will never win over me. I will always always rise above their pestilential bullshit …and dance. Wildly, joyously, and defiantly.

I realise I am well hated for my advocacy on the subjects of domestic violence, child sexual abuse, rape culture in the pub/club scene, and last but not least, this current ghastly horror: the Covid epoch/regime.

That I am well hated for calling out on the totalitarianism, fascism and Othering of thousands, if not millions of innocent people who have the courage of their convictions to hold their own ground and protect their body autonomy.

I am well aware that my QE2 hospital patient file was disappeared late in 2022 after I rejected any further systemically abusive treatments in that hospital: specifically colonoscopies and to eradicate any evidence of the abuse that occurred back in 2007 when they gifted me (gift in German means “poison”) the auto immune eradicating tvt tape sponsored and manufactured by Johnson and Johnson which permanently damaged thousands, if not millions of women across the planet.

We are still waiting for settlement of that class action which was once again hijacked by corporate greed. Here’s looking at you Shine lawyers. I realised early on that it was another giant scam, miscarriage (nay:abortion!) of justice and another vehicle to falsely delude innocent women that they might actually get justice at last.

Nup. No one wins against Big Pharma and it’s salivating Porsche and Lexus driving whores. So Mama T will continue to dance until the day comes that my legs no longer carry me or until some animal kills me for real.

I am a shaman, a truth teller (a prophet, in a that sense), a Thriver, a warrior goddess, a lover of Life and of a few rare birds who have the human temerity (chutzpah! Blows kisses to my True Beloveds!) to love me back!

No one fucks with The Tanya and if/when they do: there will be consequences. From a far higher power than those petty vicious little casino managers and Queensland Premiers and their butt boys.

The All-seeing Eye that neither slumbers nor sleeps has my back. Has always had my back. Even when I doubted that Holy Energy.

S/He/It has been sending me warnings and spiritual missives for years. Intensely, in the past year. But I had not realised the enormity of it. Now I do! The Holy One in all manifestations is not going to let them get away with this. I can trust in that…for Eternity. :-)

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Trigger warning: fascism, Nazism, suicide, threats…soft passive aggressive build up to a new heretofore unimagined genocide/democide because this time it’s global and in lockstep.

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Spirit just said “Sonderkommando” quite loudly in my ear. I had to google it. Who are the “Sonderkommandos” of our current epoch? They are not Jewish, nor are they imprisoned in concentrated death camps (not yet…please G-d…not again!), nor are they forced by threats of being shot in the face to carry out their evil passive aggressive deeds. But I am seeing them in recent months at the casino. Obeying directives from their hierarchy to drive me out, even with threats of “stabbing” me.

We all know why that is…innit?! I will hold my ground and continue to dance…up to my immolation. You bastards will never have me!

When you took my dog…you took too much! Now my mind is whetted like the sharpest Halberd axe. Cuts both ways, Darlings. I am ready for you, in every echelon of this fucked up disturbed evil society. There will be consequences. In abusing me during his dying and death and subsequent to that event…you have gifted me newfound clarity and awareness. This is/was part of the sociopathic gameplay.

Instead of concentration camps this government turns people against the awake, truth seeking, truth speaking ones. Isolates them: masking, lockdowns, social marginalisation, ultimately isolating us in our homes so we give up in loneliness and despair…and suicide.

I will never suicide again, not willingly. So if I “disappear” …be on notice… it will be for no other reason than my fierce determined advocacy and fight for my own womanhood and basic human rights.

Disappearing my patient file by the QE 2 hospital was a deliberate act to eviscerate any evidence of me. Little old marginalised but courageous Me.

Ironic… innit. They turned men who I loved against me, turned friends into enemies in the casino culture eg Karen and Tischia. Played me for a fool. Then ultimately tried to prevent me from dancing there.

But you can’t kill my spirit, or my Dance. Nah uh fools…not now…not ever. Even in my ultimate Death, I will Dance right up in your faces…you Legion…for eternity.

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New fb bio: Noble hearts, clarity of minds, gilded and girded loins, courage under fire, Love is the law! Faith!

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On a Blue Moon…all my dreams and manifestations come true! True loyal faithful Love in Human form. Devoted, cherished, reciprocated, passionate, romantic and Chosen, generous, peaceful, a good conversationalist, travelling companion and a wonderful lover. 🙂

The gods have my back…but it’s gotta be in their own sweet Timing. They don’t want any more sadistic vapid schmucks in my purview. Adieu!

Me: @Bregje Tit, we are strong powerful female spirits who have overcome so much ghastly horror, unrequited loves and/or arrant feckless perverted sadistic evil Abusers…yet still we shine bright and have trust in the multiverses that our truest deepest Loves are coming…or here with us now. Even perhaps in the next dimension since they were denied us in this incarnation.

But yes…we deserve great powerful loyal faithful heart centred affectionate decent passionate romantic and generous and Kind lovers. We deserve the One who will value, cherish adore us, without vicious games or artifice. Just open minded, open hearted and who is decent enough to reserve their passions in a healthy salubrious way. Ie no screwing other women (or men!) or our friends and associates.

Cleaving to us because they value and appreciate us THAT much!

So maybe that person will never come to/for us or maybe we will reject them out of grief/trauma and quite understandable distrust.

So it’s a hard one: between a Rock and a hard place. But I guess it’s all about rebuilding our spirits and psyches so we are cognisant when/if someone wonderful and true ever arrives in our lives.

Love you Bregje xxx May you be blessed with a true and noble kind love. I know you wish the same for me!

31 August 2022

9:11 pm. Strange, as that is the second time in two nights I saw that number. Also 1.11 and 11:11. The angels are moving amongst us whether we feel them or not. Awakening the ones willing to be alerted to their presence.

Tap on the shoulder, sometimes a swift kick up the patootie. Ouch. It hurts when that happens. But they need every soul aware, on deck on planet earth. The healing and the recalibrations have begun.

I am living through the most extraordinary times…it’s almost astonishing. But here we are. One world…one love. Make it happen! Not that disgusting elitist Great Reset or one world order that would have us divested of body and soul and our very lands. Feeding tubes and grasshoppers for dinner. No….noooooooo.

But we each have a duty to hold our ground…whatever ground we have left under our feet. To stand in honour and integrity. To hold the line. Humanity. Not human-insanity!

Mama T has Spoken. Put your pants back on Honey!

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This video came up yesterday (a day after my mad ramblings about Moses disobeying G-d in the Rock incident) and frankly I was mightily amused by the synchronicity but couldn’t share the video due to my YouTube refusing to let me sign in ffs.

So now I am back in Their game…the game of internet connectivity and AI Sardonism and the usual technocratic slavery (they glean my thoughts and emotions via my writings and YouTube videos and I glean the satisfaction of being both seen and heard, if not always completely understood….

I am posting this for all my jew crew and for my Christian crew and even the pagan crew will get some insights from it all.

The I and the thou is inseparable. (Mumbles) Jealous pissed off God cos I have been working with other deities to escalate or extrapolate my better lifestyle I have been davening for, for oh, 57 years. On a good day…I can almost smell it coming…wafts of nascent epiphanies and gentle godly persuasions.

I have been saying certain psalms to increase protection of my home, space and personage so there is no accident that this video appeared in my feed.

My Holy One knows I get very religious when I feel like I am dying…He rolls His eyes….if I was meant to be dead He’d have dispatched me long ago but I can’t help feeling that my ancestors and many of the pagan gods have had a bit of a say in that.

They Love it when I stand in my own righteous fury as I did on Friday night with the bestial behaviours. They love to see how far I will let things go before I literally crack my last nerve! Lol. That nerve is very very stretched by now.

It coils around me like a snake waiting to strike down any evildoer in my path…and I have to retreat into myself and control it…lest my wrath shall be misconstrued or demonised. (Two fake DVO’s can attest to that.) But I saw myself how I was witnessed and protected so that is a balm to my weary ancient breathless soul.

Anyway enjoy the video. I enjoyed how they wove the archeology into the timeline and explained the catastrophic events that brought about such “Acts of God”.

“Exodus: the founding myth of the Israelites”

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Omg what a fricking nightmare. I had to buy a new charger. Then had trouble as I don’t remember all my strong passwords so still can’t access YouTube for example. My anchor podcast has been erased (livid about that!)

But Facebook friends…I am back!

I have felt very much like a drone or slave today in service to my AI overlords who have (anchor) made it impossible to gain access to my original podcasts because they stupidly thought a new phone was a new account!

It was an epic struggle to get my banking back up and running. Then I also had issues with YouTube .

I am not well so these stressors have given me quite a headache.

The young woman in jb hifi (I had to buy a new charger!) told me it’s a very good phone and I will be very happy with it once I get everything set up again.

But fuck me it’s been fraught.

At one point I gave Jarrod a good laugh though as my new fone wasn’t recognising anything and so he said very drily and very calmly “Did you put in the new sim?” Fuck. So I struggled to do that while he laughed his arse off because alas…I really am That dumb and the technology is getting evermore intimidating.

I pay $15 a month for storage on iCloud and when I needed it the most it could not help with any passwords so I basically had to change everything ffs.

Which I won’t remember as the iPhone is supposed to remember them, so between my fragile health, and my mind melting with frustration and iCloud wilful disobedience. Lol or being a demented torture device….I have finally wrangled a few of my favourite apps from the dustbin of psychic atrophy just because the old fone died completely.

And this drama could have been avoided had Optus not been such an arse a few months ago when I tried to buy a new phone.

And then naturally the latest system update from ze Apfel zat does not fall far from ze tree fried my fucking iPhone 8 Plus. I mean it. It got very hot and half expected it to melt. (Dear autocorrect if I write an expletive it’s not ducking ducky ducks mmmmk!)

Anyhoo…in spite of all the chaos, anarchy and actual lies told me by Optus reps…I am excited about my new technographic enslavement and should be able to interface with my online community again,

Oh and just for kicks…make actual texts and phone calls.

Okay I just got Anchor back by deleting the new account they made. Argghhh. It should not have been this HARD! But all good.

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keyboard i no onger orkiing....arrrghhhhh I am aive, but ony jut. ti aiting for my ne iphone to arrive

it jut arrived but I cant get it to activate a I dont' remember the pa ord and my ohter phone i dead o cant tranfer acro

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31 August 2021

Today Jarrod visited and gifted me these beautiful Runes “the Elder Futhark” that he had made. I am thrilled with them and they go perfectly with the lovely goatskin rune bag that Jarrod and Crystal bought me for my birthday, from the Viking Volver we visited named Elizabeth Sek “the Happy Viking”.

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31 August 2020

Watching Portrait of a Lady on Fire on Stan. I saw it at the Dendy Cinema with Lyn last year and it was one of the most fabulous movies I have ever seen.

So I am watching it again 🙂.

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Even a vacuum cleaner can no longer suck anything up when it is stuffed with rubbish.

I was always abused for my c-ptsd and major depression. People thought me weak. And Lazy. Useless and Insane.

I am an incredibly strong person. With stamina to get through 54 years of a very fraught life.

Get the fuck out of my way if you don’t like me: I am pushing forward. Regardless. Even with my fragile mental health.

31 August 2019

2:55 am. Home from a great night of dancing at the Livewire Bar. The band played Disco songs from the 70s all night. The female singer was a great performer and hammed with us all as well. We had a fantastic time.

I am utterly exhausted but it was worth it! :-)

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My former friend gave birth to her second daughter who was born with a caul. Her mother did not want this child. She was on methodone and regularly slipped back into heroin addiction. Her grandmother also rejected the infant as she was overburdened with raising the firstborn grandchild of this young woman.

The baby was left at the Mater hospital for 2 months. Her father (also an addict) did not claim her either. After about 6 weeks my friend (the grandmother) took me to visit the baby.

I took one look at this magical but unwanted child and declared that since not one of her biological family had claimed her and as the child was a natural born witch that I would raise her for my friends (both grandmother and heroin-addicted daughter - who went on to have a third child, a son, after this one!)

So my fury at the abandonment of this little girl shamed them into finally making arrangements for the father’s mother to claim the infant and raise her. This other grandmother had to sacrifice her lucrative career to raise her granddaughter.

But I was glad the child remained with her own blood relatives. I often wonder how she is doing in life: she would be about 9 or 10 now. I am sure that after her rough early start she will grow to achieve great things.

Her mother, although a heroin addict was highly intelligent and became a drug addict after experiencing child sexual abuse and later surviving a kidnapping from a serial killer when she was 14.

I had a lot of love for this young woman as she was brilliant, resilient and managed her epic fucking darkness rather well. She had always treated me with loyalty even a year after I ended my friendship with her manipulative backstabbing mother.

She held me in some awe as she pointed out that I myself, although abused through much of my life had never resorted to hard drugs. I told her it was because I knew I would not survive them and would have overdosed, especially given my chronic suicidal ideation after decades of trauma.

I told her that her daughter will be magical or a healer one day and to never ever ever forget that I was the only one in that 2 month period of her early infancy that laid claim to her. No one had wanted her, just as no one had ever truly wanted me during most of my life. So I felt it imperative to make them step up and take responsibility.

31 August 2018

Ponds topped up. Front garden watered. Feeling extremely ordinary...which means I will have to break out the dancing shoes. In the meantime I will keep resting.

It’s been a lovely sunny day. The wind has come up this afternoon. But still a gorgeous day.

I had a lovely time with Jarrod yesterday then Crystal joined us after work in the evening.

Love them both very much. I was feeling rather weak by nighttime but we managed to have a good time.

Every day is just a miracle. I drag myself through the not-so-great days and take delight in my awesome ones. Spiralling like a Spirograph set, touching hearts and minds and souls on our ever-cycling journey through time and space.

Sometimes I find myself flashing back to pivotal moments of my life, like a life review. Then I have to remember that all events, good or bad are what shaped me and somehow I must focus on the golden moments that ennobled me and helped me heal and blossom on my Becoming.

I look into the abyss and the abyss stares right back at me. A silver-lined mirror that feints and fusses as the vampyres of old have satiated themselves from my glory...but hohum...this is not the end of my story.

The love despoiled and toiled and roiled...of no more consequence. My eyes have lived a thousand dreams and always sewn back into a fraying seamless seam and everyone knows, all who wander are not lost and Mama T the unrequited zombie woman, always always revivifies and bites back. 🙂

31 August 2017

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Charlie gave himself a bath this morning. There is nothing more vulnerable than a wet bird. He is preening his feathers and singing happily in his high pitched lorikeet shriek. We are privileged to be enjoying another gorgeous day in Paradise.

I am going to the skin cancer clinic this arvo to get some skin lesions checked. They haven't healed in the past 2 years. So it's time I had them removed or at least checked out.

I avoid doctors as more often than not they disrespect my integrity due to my mental health issues. I have to be practically dying to submit myself to that systemic abuse.

But cancers of the skin can get very dangerous. My mother's half-brother in Germany died of melanoma. So yes, we must keep ourselves healthy and whole. I wonder how many chunks they will excise from my flesh today? Horrible thought!

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I am back from the skin clinic. 3 small biopsies. I have to go back next week for the results. He lasered the tiny bothersome bits. Hopefully they will quit itching.

Then I went to Coorpooroo shops. Oh my. Quirky! Some young men selling raffle tickets in a rubber duck race for the PA hospital flirted with me shamelessly to connive $10 out of me. They told me they loved my pigtails and my funny personality.

One kept asking me what I do for a living? I ignored it. He asked again. I said "I might be a comedian?!" Very strange encounter. We had fun joking around. I parted with $10 (as it's for charity so meh!) and they told me I had made their day. How? By showing up???

Anyway it was rather silly. Bit of nonsensical fun. I bought Charlie a wooden beaded swing thingy in the discount shop for $5. Then tried to get him to actually swing on it. Lol! Mr Charlie was underwhelmed. He was more happy to see De Mama than Da Swing Thing.

I bought cat litter too. I have ordered Advocate for the pussies. The excessively warm Weather will bring fleas.

So everyone is catered for chez moi!

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I once had a sudden panic attack on Coronation Drive in 4 lanes of traffic, at the lights! I was very lucky that Crystal was with me to talk me through it (I had wanted to run from the car but that was impossible) and we were rather miraculously able to continue the journey home. It was very scary for both of us.

On another occasion, Christmas Day 2009 my then bf was driving me to spend the day with his mother. We stopped to get petrol. While he was paying for petrol I had a severe panic attack so bad I actually vomited a small amount of foamy bile. I thought I was having a heart attack.

He drove me to his mother's place and I told her what happened and to keep an eye on me as I should be at the hospital but being Christmas I did not want to be in ED for hours and hours. I lay on her couch and felt a bit weak for several more hours then felt okay again.

I went in the next few weeks for an angiogram but there was nothing wrong with my heart. They commented I had a slow heart beat, the heart of an athlete (this was some years before I went dancing but I was always gardening!). So then I knew it had been another panic attack. I don't know what brought that on as I had been quite happy on that morning.

Anyway in March 2010 my mother died and a few months later he left me. I haven't had any major panic attacks since. Not having the stress of a malevolent false mother and partner probably helped me heal somewhat. It has been a long slow process.

22 years of therapy. 7 years staying single (without a boyfriend). Several years of celibacy (to regain my own power which I gave away to evil bastards). Getting there! 😉. Where? Who knows? But I am slowly getting better.

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Trigger warning: csa, unrequited love.

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I am alone, but surrounded by 7 billion other people on a dying planet ruled by maniacs on all sides.

All I ever wanted from life was to be loved. Perhaps to have a life partner (for I will never shackle my soul to another in a contract of marriage that was a curse to my freedom loving, freedom needing soul).

A life partner who holds me in his arms and cares for me but with a truly great love that does not seek to immolate me by envy or hate or control.

Would you tear the wings off a broken battered butterfly to keep her a prisoner of your false and treacherous love? Stick her with a pin on a board and hang her on a wall to admire her once fleshed out joyous beauty? That is what men have done to me.

Only one who loved me with a faith and purity (not of the sweaty intermingling of flesh) has constantly been there for me. A true friend. A decent honourable man. A man who still keeps me precious and upholds me, even as I quest to find a physical lover with as true a heart.

Does that human being exist? That man who lights me up and stays with me, through all my darkness and my light, through all my fears and all my small and varied triumphs, with passionate tenderness, with respect, loyalty and faithfulness?

I am alone in my accursed existence. Shadowed by grief from long term abuse. Beautiful, resistant, proud. Dignified, I stand on my own two feet.

Impoverished of spirit but wealthy in Soul. Heart and mind saturated with hopes and dreams and projections of a reality that never was but yet could still be. A mirage.

My body is not young anymore. In truth it was never young. Tainted and stained and rubbed on by malevolent pricks from early childhood. Sold out into marriage (to keep the illusion of integrity and respectability).

I tacitly went for it to escape my homelife, to seek a family of my own, to be loved and comforted. Yet I fell into another atrocity. A family that was cruel and hateful and vicious.

So at 19 I learned I was alone. At 22, even with two children at my breast, alone. At 52, alone. Always walking (and psychedelicly dreaming) alone.

Well I am awake and aware. The pain of knowing I was cheated out of basic human needs. I had to sacrifice so much for my current safety. Yet still I am harassed and victimised by certain creeps at the casino (by some of their guards).

Nay, there is no safe haven for me. No loving partner to hold me at night, to succour me, no financial security, if not for one doctor advocating for me years ago I would have been homeless or dead (or both!)

So I am Alone. It is not so bad. It is better than lying in bed, fucking a traitor every night for the sake of heaven, for a roof, for a reputation. It is better than lying about love and fighting for long-dead zombie loves that would never be reanimated.

I kept my promise to my father in law to raise his grandchildren as Jews. I kept my promise to myself to never marry again or let another man destroy me (well that has not worked out so well, for still they come, gloating lasciviously over my pain and my passionate fury to survive them all).

There are many days and nights I still wish I were dead but I get up again, pull myself together, keep breathing, keep dancing, keep hoping. The gods made me strong and kept me as their precious one, alone and isolated but free.

Free to be me in all my complexities. In all my confusion. In all my suffering. Free to live and love by my own choice. Free to walk away if need be. Free!

Take me down off your walls, dust me off, breathe life into my animus. Let me fly into the sunshine of eternity. Blissful, blithe, blessèd.

I am not afraid of death nor of life. I have fully embraced them both. But to endure one more fake love, one more betrayal. This I am done with. I am alone and I am happy and I am free.

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Cold night. Watching The Mist. Creepy.

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31 August 2015

I woke up at 4.30 pm. I went outside to let out the chickens. Hermann is dead. So I buried him. Death visited this house again. This time she clawed back one of my Beloveds instead of me. Useless Lady Death Bitch. Her and I will be eyeballing each other again, and we shall have Words.

Well, Sacred Space will be sadder and quieter without him. The collar that never worked eventually killed him. No more roosters. It is a way too stifling, smothering life having your throat chakra strangled. I know that more than anyone.

Mr Crow visited yesterday. He seems to know when one of my animals are leaving this planet for a higher dimension. He's out there cawing happily again, Bless him.

BB is out taking all the grain I just fed the chooks. I had to lock the Silkies in their coop again, so they can feed, even though I gave him his own portion.

The goldfish are happy in their new environment under the stairs. The timer doesn't work though. I will have to buy a new one and 3 new pumps and filters.

I seem to never prosper unless I have clear flowing water and fish in my garden so the green algae is really really pissing me off. I am slowly clearing it with some biological water blocs but not enough to satisfy my urgent requirement for free-flowing tinkling streaming sun-catching water.

Lady Sirene demands it, but as I am a shitty witch and voodoo priestess, I have not yet manifested it. (She is waggling her finger at me). She is pleased I moved the pond though. At least then I can get the electricity to reach it. I can't afford $1000 for an electrician to dig a line to the back of the property and install power up there.

If I owned the house and had the money I would and it would have had a waterfall.

Anyway in the words of Dire Straits. (lol!). Money ain't for nothing and your chicks for free. (Bullshit, chickens are expensive these days) only my Hermann was cheap as no one in suburbia really wants a Rooster except determined women like me, still chasing The Cock Supreme after all these years. (Even if I do find most of them utterly distasteful!)

My boy was a lovely little Man though. I shall miss him terribly. He had been making mad passionate bird love, even with the big girls. If any of them brood I will let them. They are sure to be fertilised, that is, if he did the job right and wasn't just practising like so many before him.

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So many don't like what I have to say. I don't care. I will Say it anyway. There is only the Truth! Your Truth, my Truth and the Universal Truth!

Handle it Babies! You have the Power of the X button. Or unfriend me. I am Whom I am Becoming. I am who I always was. Free. Outspoken. Strong. Determined. Brave. Beautiful. Sometimes a Pissbag of Blood boiling Fury, but that never lasts for long.

Don't let my words be wasted. Or my heart. Or my mind. I was not Born but Created in a sick defunct greedy society by sick morally defunct greedy family and their cohorts.

So this makes me demand human rights and decency for all that is, lives or ever will be. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. Life is too precious to live in mediocrity and mendacity.

31 August 2014

Seeing such widespread child sexual abuse cases such as Rotherham in UK just sickens me and I dread to think how widespread it is even here in Australia. This is confirming my idea more and more that I need to form my own female vigilante group.

I am sick to death of seeing women and children (boys and girls!) being abused and living in fear and desperation while our social services and govt turns a blind eye. They have even made it more difficult to remove at-risk kids, even in known sexual abuse situations!

We are creating a society of endemic victimhood. How will these children be able to function effectively, work, achieve,have secure relationships, or be safe and good parents when they have known no other life but rape, torture and trauma.

What kind of life will we be living as elders of such an emotionally and spiritually crippled society?

How can this be prevented?? Who will fight these evil perversions?? When will society at large, stop condoning this abhorrent behaviour.

Who will stand up and be counted?

Why do I feel so alone, in my rage and outrage?

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6.55 am I haven't slept yet. Very triggered by recent events.

Yesterday Lucy arrived with baby Ryder. So we spent the afternoon and evening together. He is a bonny baby but he was teething and over-tired. I had lots of cuddles with him while we chatted and drank tea. She has not visited me in years but lives closer to me now.

I am happy that she knows she can come here for a bit of respite when life gets overwhelming.

She is much younger than I, but we have both been through so much horrific stuff that we have a true connection.

I pray life is kinder to her, and me in our future.

As they say only the truly broken vessels can reveal the purest Light. I wish we had not been made so fragile and broken but I have been tempered like steel and my light shines brighter and stronger as I age.

I have been thinking a lot about her life story. I will encourage her to write it. I think she has a lot of experiences that young women would benefit from reading.

Naturally her time is limited with a baby. She talked about going to university and I encouraged her to do so. She is incredibly bright and resourceful and a true survivor. One day I would like to see her Thrive in the best way possible.

31 August 2013

I danced all night hoping to find Love. All I found was other women's loves, hounding me all night. Bloody useless drunk Married men. Ughhh! Came home at 2 am in a fine fettle but had lots of fun laughing about the gits with Annie and Marianne!

Annette invited me earlier in the evening with Lyn for a lovely dinner and plied me with wine and her amazing hugs. Remind me again why I even bother trying to find a man when my women friends love me so completely?

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Laila Tov...or Boker Tov! Birds tweeting. This little Vamp is going to sleep!

31 August 2012

It's Settled! Now to wait for the cheque to clear, so this can end at last!

31 August 2011

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it." - W. C. Fields

31 August 2010

My beautiful Gail came to check on me this afternoon, as she knew I was so ill. We had a lovely day sitting in the garden, playing with Tahylia who Gail picked up from school and brought back to my place so we could all have fun together. It was such a beautiful day outside and it was good to spend it with loved ones.

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Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons