Memories: 26 July 2025

26 July 2025

12:52 am

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7:27 am wow! I can’t believe I am awake after last night’s wild dance. It was reinvigorating. I needed the exercise though as I have been carbiciding and put on weight.

Tonight I will visit my friend Jarrod at his new apartment at Waterford West. Then I will dance at Fitzys.

Last night was amazing. I got to mosh to my signature war cry song “Zombie”. I had been moshing all night but that was the second last song Berst played. I threw myself into it with great passion and zest. I looked up and beside me, my handsome friend Alex was also moshing wildly and the three Band members, were also throwing themselves into it with great passion. We were literally all “flying”! Fabulous.

Before I left the Brooklyn Standard, Alex pointed to me in great happiness. His partner Stacey smiled and nodded encouragingly too. I went over to him, parted his long hair which was still covering his face, looked deep into his eyes, smiled and nodded. He smiled and nodded back. Then I went to the bathroom before quietly exiting the club for my drive back home.

I felt very loved and cherished last night. Everyone was joyous and carefree and wild. Everyone was kind.

Grateful happy Mama T here!

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https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1RDDkQ5uym/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Dancing to Ramjet at Fitzys Waterford. :-)

26 July 2024

The “Judd Fest”. We all poured so much healing love into him. A fantastic night!

26 July 2023

I woke up at 8:47 am. Wow. I have my debrief with my psychiatrist today. Also need to remake the bezel setting (and grind down the crack on the edge of my Opal).

I guess that can wait until I buy the fine silver bezel wire. That will work better then the sterling bezel I made which was too hard to push over.

I must persist as it’s a pretty little ring, even though it’s my first ring shank and is a bit amateurish.

I still have pain in my liver, a dull ache like I used to get when I had gallstones. It’s getting to be a worry. But this too shall pass. I am fighting every day against my poor health and this fucked up Covid epoch.

I pushed myself yesterday to create that ring. Even though I felt exhausted and unwell. Imagine what I could have achieved if I had been healthy all my life 😕.

From my titaniasrealm comment section:

26 July 2022

26 July 2021

11:11 am Baruch HaShem for a working alimentary canal and bowels. But looking forward to the time when I am no longer encumbered by corporeal surreal epic epic shit stained existence.

I wonder how many more incarnations I will be forced to endure because of the whimsical farcical sadism of the gods?

Blech. Better not to think of it.

I am looking forward to major rejoicing when this fiasco is over. More fun with Beauregard and Charley. More good food and happiness manufactured by Will and my magick.

Hell I might even take a lover again.

If I am going to be edged into this life I might as well enjoy every aspect of it!

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Don’t mind me: I am under the grips of an aspartame psychosis. Even my teeth are “singing”! But this too shall pass.

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Today marks the 60th birthday of my childhood friend Lynne Robertson. Ironic that it should also be the day I extrude some more of my insides and get anal probed. This is the gift of trauma and a childhood marred by psychopaths.

Cheers thanks a lot. 😕

I try to imagine what a healthy childhood and a later healthy marriage might have yielded for me. But I cannot…it’s beyond my ken.

Blown apart at the seams too many times by false and feckless family, former friends and former lovers.

But what does Leonard Cohen say? The cracks are where the light shines through. I must be Super nova by now. Rolls eyes.

I am stoically transforming my childhood putrescence whilst flying my flag on the marble arches where David lies cold and zombified but I am an expert at blowing life into long dead souls as longer deader loves.

It’s both my blessing and my curse and everything else is just a long shit on a colonoscopy transam production line.

As my beloved father in law used to quip “If you don’t eat, you don’t shit and if you don’t shit…you die!” And we were fressers and chewed on life with full zesty satiation as often as we could!

The old man died of bowel and stomach cancer and who knows what my end will be in the Smokey haze of my most glorious days…but I hope it will be with a full belly and a laughter shrieking across all 11 dimensions and knowing at long last, of how deeply I was valued and loved.

Hmmmm. Hmmmm? Hmmmm!

Happy Birthday Lynne. Wherever you are. I honour your mother still who was the only “mother” I had in my childhood and there were many that failed to meet that barest standard of perfection.

A woman of valour is hard to find for her price is far above rubies. -

But all I’ve got is bubkes, diarrhoea and a mind like a steel strap still stretching itself like pearl-shaped seaweed in long lines on a desolate distant beach.

Where do you go to my lovelies, when you’re alone in your bed? Hahaha …paradise. Hell. Dreaming a life of a loyal deep intimacy with my Beloved. Like a harlequin novelist gone psychotic.

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Jarrod brought over the three abalone shells (these came from the Philippines) that I bought a week or so ago and asked him to collect for me as the seller was in Victoria Point. They are quite beautiful.

I now need to buy a respiratory mask to protect my lungs while cutting them up. I will probably need a tool that cuts out disk shapes as well. But baby steps…These cost $12 each. They are not as good quality as NZ paua but still very colourful. I am happy with them.

Thank you Jarrod for getting them for me and especially for taking me to the QE2 hospital today and forgive me for the fracas but I will never go quietly when faced with rudeness, incompetence or abuse.

I had a realisation this evening as to why the spirit of Sir James Douglas (Black Douglas) stood beside my bed back in October 2018. He was gifting me extra courage in these debauched and evil times.

Mama T might have to paint her face blue and run amok one of these fine days. Lmao!

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26 July 2020

26 July 2019

Back from Greenslopes hospital getting hooked up to the holter meter to check my heart. Had to pay $12 parking as there was nothing on the streets. Grrr. I have to bring it back at 8 am on Monday. Will be better off taking the bus than paying for parking again.

Then I did a bit of grocery shopping. Feeling weak today. So that was arduous. Especially schlepping the heavy groceries back.

Now my drain site hurts. Fuck it. All. But home safe now. Gonna sit in the sunshine with Charlie bird and contemplate my future.

26 July 2018

Another lovely day. Terrie shouted me a lovely cappuccino before she started work. Jenny came over this arvo and evening.

It was a gorgeous sunny day today. Life is good!

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Orange is the new black season 6 tomoz! Woot!

26 July 2017

I have rung RSPCA to report John for failing to access proper veterinary treatment. For dragging her by her wounded ear (so he could take a photo for the court of her injuries) for still not getting a vet in to euthanaise her after we agreed yesterday that she is dying. I cannot bear to leave her yet another day in agony with no treatment, standing by idly while trusting that crazy man to do the right thing.

The final straw came this morning when I went over to see if the RSPCA had come to euthanise her. He stated they refused to euthanise on private property. He stated he was going to get his neighbour to help him dig a grave ready for her to be buried next to his dog Jack, then when the grave was already dug, he would call a vet to euthanise her.

I lost my temper. I said "So you will let her suffer all day until a grave is dug when she has already been in agony for days??? How would you like it if we dug you a grave and let you suffer for days??? Karma is gonna get you!! This is a Being. With rights!"

So I rang the council who refused to help. Then finally got through to RSPCA to complain to them about their breach of duty failing to assist a dying animal. So they agreed to send an inspector out and to euthanaise the poor agonised sheep if she is beyond saving. Holy fuck! That was harder than extracting hens teeth!

They said they will act urgently. I bloody hope so!

Update: They came out. He yelled at them. The police came out so the female inspector could enter his property. An animal ambulance arrived. They left. The cops slowed their car and shot me a grin as they passed me in my garden.

Weird! Just had a call from RSPCA inspector, thanking me for my call. Sheep very badly injured but they are treating her (ie may survive) but they are continuing the investigation as they had concerns at his long delay in getting treatment for the sheep also.

They wanted to know my side of story. I told them I had offered to lend him $100 to get a vet to come out and had asked him every day if he had a vet out yet. Which he had not. He lied and told them he had a vet out yesterday. (He drove to get vet supplies from a friend on Gold Coast 2 days ago, 2 days after she had been attacked and injured.)

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Feeling distressed and traumatised. The council inspector is over there now. To address the issue of the dog attack on the sheep.

He is ranting and raving about it. Unbeknownst to him I have the RSPCA coming out to inspect as well. I hope the council person uses common sense and can see the animal is suffering. Maybe they will confer with RSPCA as well?

It was heinous what those dogs did, but it is also heinous to leave the surviving sheep to slowly die in agony.

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26 July 2016

@ Stones Corner. About to have a late lunch. Feel weird in the head but probably just hungry.

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Not well today. It was an almighty struggle just to get a few groceries. I felt like my head had been cut off. Disassociation. I made it home and felt nothing but relief to be back home. I am now relaxing by watching tv on my couch with Beauregard.

26 July 2015

Today I slept until 4.30 pm. I was very weak after 3 nights of fever. I went back to bed around 7 ish. Crystal skyped me. We had a long chat. Even Penny heard her voice and leapt up on my bed to purr down the iphone. Cute!

I went back to sleep. Woke again at 1 am. I watched Dr Who on tv.

I still feel woolly in the head and sort of wrung out. I had such bad anxiety yesterday. I had to take a Valium. Today was not good either. It must be all the Ventolin I have been taking for my asthma.

I am glad I didn't go out tonight. I think I might go back to bed. When in doubt...sleep!

26 July 2014

One door slams shut in your face and you get blood in your eye but that is okay ‘cos when you throw that shit out the window you liberate yourself to have a clean house and mind and another door opens.

Sad confusing night last night but my conscience is clear. Some people are beyond help and I am done being made responsible for others' poor choices, then being persecuted for it. Lesson learned. Don't let others use and abuse me.

I had a great night until the early hours of the morning. For once I had no problems at the busway. I caught a taxi to pick up my car at 5 am. $16.80. For a five minute ride. Disgusting!

I had a nice hot bath then went to bed. Another friend bites the dust. So disappointed. Such is life.

Some guy was gaslighting me early in the night. No idea what that was about? Smacked of a set-up. In the end he ran out on me. Lol! Another game-player. I find that very weird but then not everyone is a straight-up honest person like me. I have to remember that.

He commented that my friend was jealous of me hanging with a guy. I didn't like that he was already 'splitting'. My friends are important to me.

A guy I just meet who is already threatened by my affection and care for other friends is already showing himself to be a control freak. Glad he bailed out so quickly!

By the end of the night that woman friend and I ended our friendship. For reasons that had nothing to do with the guy. Oh the irony.

I need a man I can trust to be there for me, be loyal, loving and genuine, strong, generous, kind, passionate and who actually 'gets' me. The only man in my life who gets who I am is my psychiatrist. He's not available as a sexual partner lol. But he is amazing regardless. Same goes for my friend Jarrod.

I think a male sexual partner is denied me. The second they have sexual feelings for me, they get scared or sabotage or lie or cheat or play inane infantile games. They also underestimate my intelligence, my personality and my entire worth as a Woman.

I have never even asked for much from men.

Last night the guy who owns 3 pubs (or so he claimed) turned up again at casino watching me. I ignored him. Another time-waster. What good is a wealthy man if he is an oaf and perhaps married?

Jo wanted me to go up to him but I told her to ignore him. I was having a fabulous time dancing with her and her friend Robert. I don't need more grief from strange men who are too weak to man up and say Hello. 3 pubs and all. Lmao! Most likely a liar.

I went outside and danced with George the busker. We had fun!

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Sometimes even a nice hot cup of tea, a hot bath and a rest is not enough to cleanse the filth of what is going on in the world right now or in my own realm, watching good people being destroyed each night by big corporations who want their money, knowing these same people will risk lives to drive drunk. And I get vilified for saying No! Fuck that Shit.

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Done and Dusted.

26 July 2011

Pleasant day, my Crystal surprised me and took me out to Trade Secret while I waited for my appointment with my psych. I bought some new lingerie ‘cos the stuff at home was an embarrassment lol, had a lovely debrief with my doctor and then Crystal and I had Maccas before she dropped me home so she could go home to sleep as she is on early shifts this week.

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I have spent the evening, watching True Blood season 4 episode 4, awesomeness, and now watching Tangled, cos I'm a big kid and I missed it at the movies. From Vampires to Animated Vamps in one fell swoop lol.

26 July 2010

My day started well, then by lunchtime I had the hot flush from hell, complete with sweating and when that ended I passed out with exhaustion. Just do not feel well today.

I guess that's life, you get your good days, bad days, and weird funny turns out of the blue. Tonight I feel better but freaked out at where my health is at. LOL

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I've been out visiting all day, Courtenay, then Gail then Jarrod. My cats have all gone off in a huff. Only one cat home to welcome me home and only cos he's solely focused on getting fed. I had a lovely day today.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons