Memories: 19 August 2025

19 August 2025

7:34 am. Back from the Astral. Good morning! Another day in paradise. Another gift unfurling. Another breath billowing through the windmills of my mind. Another curtain call. Stand up and be counted. Hold the line.

The delicate gossamer thread of grandmother spider’s gentle fateful winnowing and spinning. Curling into infinity. Lost and found. Rejected but elevated on powerful angelic wings. Together we fly. No one left behind. No one forgotten. Even though the misbegotten bloodless soulless curs carry a stench and a stain across time and space. Giggles…what fun they had, trying to destroy Love. Ahhhh but not my circus, not my monkeys.

Love finds its own true centre. Like an echolocation it’s sought and found. Such joy. Such fullness of Being. Such bright shining spirit. Such peace. The knowing that comes when souls transcend their own toxicity and find each other. Alive and well inside their meat sacks. Not rotting, not perverted, not evil…but somehow galvanised and shining and pristine.

Remember who you are…exemplify that. Look neither right or left…but walk, dance, run straight and without doubts or fear to the One whose heart is true.

Rise up. Show them. The Unbreakable one. Live…

19 August 2023

9:20 am awake after a very bad night with my bladder. I was up most of the night. I had a lot of insomnia also, which I can’t help feeling is because my body is so used to going dancing on Friday nights and when I don’t dance, it kind of “acts out” like a tantrum. But the constant peeing was very exhausting so I eventually succumbed to sleep.

I got up at 9 am, to open the blinds in Charley’s room and give her fresh lorikeet mix for the day. She was very happy to see me and very affectionate. I haven’t put her outside in the garden as the blustery August western winds are here. A sign of winter in Brisbane Australia!

The sun is shining though.

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4:24 pm I had to take a nap as I felt so dizzy and weak. But Charley spent most of the day in the garden, until 2 pm. She was a happy little bird. She played with her stainless steel bell that I attached to her cage.

I feel crushed by grief and loneliness today. I haven’t taken Charley for a walk yet. It’s still too windy and I feel awful. But it was a lovely sunny day, with clear blue skies.

19 August 2022

19 August 2019

2:05 am. I can’t sleep. The reason being that I am Happy. Happy with whom I have become. Happy with my true heart-centred authentic friends. Happy with Penny purring beside me, loudly. Happy with Beauregard lying at my feet. Happy with Life.

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Still processing the epic weirdness and chutzpah of my former Beloved yesterday.

So I am calling in my Ancestors (the ones that love and protect me...not the toxic evil perverted Shits!!) to guide me into a psychic space of universal pure and authentic love. Since I am denied a mortal lover then I can only ask for the Holy One to Bring me the right man in the right paradigm with harm to none and with love for me:body mind and soul.

It would be worth mentioning that any future partner needs to like my dog, cats and birds too. I will not relinquish my animal spirit healers and fur children for any man, woman or child. Their love has been absolute and enduring.

Unlike the ones who ran into the night with their jocks around their ankles screaming “my wife, my mistress, my business or my mortgage”. I don’t care a fuck about your phobias or failure as a man to take responsibility for your actions.

If you cannot be decent, loyal and true, then fuck off outta here. There are plenty of other stupid lonely sad women that think any scrap of your attention is a golden Medina. It is not.

Shape up, show up, keep up, saddle up, and ride. But if you show up with other lovers you embarrass and demean only yourself. So many men in my life have played that game. They think it’s about control or power or making themselves seem desirable.

It is merely Fuckery and Douchebaggery and generally a singular debasement of their very own lives. My ancestors are watching and some have taken up knitting à la Les Miserables...as we await the inevitable guillotine.

His ancestors (let’s face it we are drawn like moths to the fucking furnace for a higher reason!) are probably the same tribe as my ancestors. So they are wringing their hands and cutting deals with anyone who can parlay mercy. But I can only laugh in the face of his lunacy.

Let go...let love. Watch. Wait. Rise. Shine. Be perfectly Sublime.

Great grandfather poked me in the spine. Really??? Stop interfering in my magic. It came late and was hardwon. I paid a heavy price. Too many hefty prices. But a contract was made with the gods.

So here I am...patiently awaiting my Tribute and my “marriage” with one who loves me beyond measure. But only in so much as I have loved him.

Unrequited loves a bore and a torment that reaches into future and past lives and ancient ancestral curses must be broken. The buck stops with me. Run, Forrest, Run. I’ll be here when you get back to me and stop your infantile games.

Update 19 August 2020: Lol. That love died along with Miss Penny on Saturday. Penny cannot ever be replaced but that vile sadistic cuntish man, can! In time... when my heart reconfigures itself!

Update 19 August 2023: Beauregard’s death on 1st August 2023 has meant I now only have Charley left to nurture. I did not relinquish my cats and my beautiful dog willingly. Only Death could separate us.

No truly loving man ever stepped up to the mark to choose me as his partner. When Charley is gone, I will be quite alone. We are both grieving hard. My beautiful bird and I. Even the wild birds have been visiting me out in the garden. They seem to notice the absence of Beauregard also.

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1:11pm greetings from the alternate universes. Where Angels have my back :-)

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Eating a packet of chocolate coated raspberry licorice from Darrel Lea last night, was not a good idea. Comfort food for Miss Five is no longer Comfortable. My liver can’t process sugar or fat without the gall bladder. I am permanently crippled with tummy issues unless I submit to eating healthy food. Arrggghhhh. Fecklessly furious!

Psy sighs. I have enough gall to survive but only if I become a raw vegetable person. Fuck that. Dying is still an option but it ain’t gonna be pretty 🙂 I guess I will eventually choose healthier eating when I get tired of my shitful existence.

On happy news, my dog loves me and my catsss and it’s Monday so I get to spend quality time with Jarrod. Yayyy!

19 August 2018

8:45 am. Been awake for an hour. Highly unusual given how exhausted I was last night.

It’s a glorious morning. Sun is shining, light breeze. Quiet neighbourhood for a change.

Eating breakfast with Charlie who is stealing my muesli. Life is good.

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The breeze has turned into bluster. Still a warm day though. August winds used to be freezing cold westerlies. Odd.

I have had another hour long nap but am up and showered. What shall I co-create with the Universe today? Probably keep resting and try to heal my body.

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Jenny and I had a little drive to Wynnum Beach. Beau had a little paddle and so did I. The wind is wild and witchy but not too cold.

19 August 2017

4.28 am. Home from dancing. Have bathed in Epsom salts as my feet are crippled with pain. Have watched Wisdom Teachings season 27 episode 1 about the extraterrestrials mentioned in the Vedas. Rakshaha (Draco) and Takshaka (snakes) and Nagas (half human/half snake). Interesting stuff. Ganesh was not an actual elephant but a being with oxygen tubing and space helmet.

Now ready to sleep. If my brain permits it. Seeing the Naga kanyes mentioned on Wisdom Teachings reminds me that I need to polish my brass ones at the foot of my bed and on my front door. The guardians of the underworld would probably appreciate being kept shiny and bright.

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19 August 2015

I just had a long chat to Crystal. She seemed lucid. She is much better after taking the antibiotics and also has work now. Big weight off my mind.

Now all I need to focus in is myself. I am getting the left shoulder cancer spot hacked out tomorrow. So another week of pain and stitches but better than cancerous tissue spreading through my corpus. Ugh!

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19 August 2014

@ Crystal's Dress Rehearsal with Lyn. So excited!

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The show is called "the Void and the Light". It is a contemporary opera.

Having just seen the preview, technical Dress Rehearsal, I must say I thoroughly enjoyed it. Breathtaking, magical and beautiful.

Opening night is tomorrow.

19 August 2013

Awake, listening to the pre-dawn calls of birds. Another night of insomnia. Been trying to sleep since 3 am.

It's annoying as I have a hair appointment this arvo and if I don't sleep soon, I will fall asleep in her chair again, which really freaks her out. She is a good hairdresser so I don't want to lose her.

So now my head is clear and resonating with the frustration of being tired in the body but mentally, so wired. Think I will make a cup of tea and take some extra Seroquel to knock myself out. Few weeks ago I couldn't lift my head off the pillow with severe fatigue, now it's insomnia again.

19 August 2012

Omg yesterday I got my electricity bill, $280! I've only used my heater in the past month, as we had a mild winter and only had my computer, tv, fridges and my electric blanket on, (this as I am manless so had noone to snuggle for extra body heat, and quite frankly my blankie is cheaper than a man in the long run, also quieter, and I can turn it on or off at will lol).

But Burn baby burnnnnnnnnnn such a huge bill, more than double my last one. Thank you Carbon Tax you have succeeded to cripple the already crippled financially the pensioners...I hate to think what the Arbeiters will say when they get their outrageous exorbitant bills. They work for their global insults.

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Reasonably happy day today and yesterday. Spent yesterday in garden, while still battling major fatigue but got some stuff done. Today I picked my passionfruits and was surprised and alarmed to discover a wrong coloured fruit under the vines.

I’m certain I planted a Black Passionfruit and a red one, but this one was yellow and round. So I can't figure out how it got there? So I took my harvest inside, cut them all up, and when I got to the yellow one, it was a passionfruit all right, same coloured pulp and juice, tasted same, but gosh darn it, not the variety I am growing.

So the Universe or a prankster in my neighbourhood had me doubting my sanity, not for the first or last time I am sure but this was really a good trick. hahah.

19 August 2011

My Brand New Computer is awesome, and is red and looks like a cross between Transformers and Viking space ship! I love the light show, the cutouts...oh and I've got it working now.

Thank you So Much, Peter and Lyn! xxx

19 August 2010

I had a lovely day shovelling shit...on my garden LOL. I also planted some lovely veges that Crystal said I could have for my vege patch. It all looks really awesome. (Now to keep the transplant patients alive!)

I've chosen my future chook pen, now just need to find out if the merchant will sell the design I want in Sydney, up in Brisbane. It's slightly cheaper and I like the design better.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons