Memories: 15 November 2025

15 November 2025

10:33 am

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On the subject of celebrity: I mentioned in my YouTube video of even date that I had enjoyed (or been rather astonished by!) some celebrity status in the past few years. I had no idea what that was about at the time. I thought it was someone’s idea of a prank or a joke….you know….like my “fantasy” love life with a certain “rockstar” ….Bejaysus.

Tonight I discovered that one of my longtime FB friends is actually an actor and has appeared in four movies. (I had to factcheck on google as imdb wanted me to join and pay for that information. Lol!)

So all this time I have had the platonic love and support of actual celebrities and fellow thespians (my daughter is an actor….) and had absolutely no idea! Rolling on the floor laughing at my stupidity. However this is proof that I really do take everyone I meet online and in real world at face value and interact with them according to their interesting self expressions or philosophical ideas, not because of fame or for what job they do.

I just had a tiny bit of ontological shock as it made me wonder how many other people on my friends list are famous or celebrities that I had no idea of/about?!

I just love when I discover the extraordinary amidst the ordinary and my world gets rocked a little bit….but in a good way. 🙂

Here’s to you Michael Brecher, you amazingly talented and humble man!

15 November 2024

https://www.instagram.com/stories/brooklynstandard/3501698014505329764?utm_source=ig_story_item_share&igsh=cHBuMGs2MnQwbnF3

Thank you Brooklyn Standard for the wonderful times you have co-created with me. ❤🎉😊. I posted the link as it has made me so happy!

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15 November 2022

I wish to thank Jarrod Nielsen for his hard work wrangling the IT side of things in getting my new Titania’s realm website live on Facebook, Instagram and Square Up. Two full days and nights of wrangling to achieve this especially made frustrating because The Tanya is not much help when it comes to computer problems. At one stage I even had trouble with my own passwords and email.

I asked him how people get their websites set up when they don’t have IT professionals as friends. Drily he replied “they don’t…they simply give up”. I had to laugh. I almost gave up too. It’s been intense.

But there is a saying amongst my inner circle. “Never fuck with The Tanya”…I do struggle with everything… everything but when my angels and my beautiful fierce determined friends step in..together we move mountains.

Together we achieve the improbable, impossible and the unlikely in our own unique co-creative ways.

Much love to and for Jarrod and all my gorgeous friends who motivate, encourage, sustain me, feed me, laugh with me, wipe my tears and send me back into every fray. Even if by now I am a bit unravelling like a frayed knot myself after decades of subsistence living. We have got this!

So we raise our heads and look to the horizon unblinkingly with wide open eyes and third eye awareness and we raise a libation to the gods of luck, prosperity, thriving and of creativity and playfulness.

We do a little dance on our own two feet and sing from the chandeliers and cast out the cavaliers and by the gods we blow our own minds sometimes.

I love you! All of you! I could not be doing this life without you.

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10:29 am I just got woken up by the unexpected arrival of the lawnmower men. I was crawling around my garden, in my nightie without my glasses on, setting Charley up outside when I heard Abdul calling out from the front gate (I think he fears the dog!)

Argggh. He must have forgotten to text me that he was mowing today.

Nevermind. But you should have seen his face when he saw me walk around the front garden, in my nightie with my hair everywhere looking like an old witch. Lol. I figure the nightie is not see through. Buttons up to my neck but he is a Muslim so that would be enough to freak him out. Maybe he will text next time so he doesn’t catch me en flagrant!

The bloody djinn must have known he was coming as I was already up but struggling to synapse and outside when they arrived… the men not the djinn. We all know the Dybbuk lives on the roof.

I barely slept last night. I was awake until about 4:30 am. I even went outside at 4:08 am staring at the dawn and sun gazed for a few mere minutes. My bladder had me going all night long and I feel dried out like an old husk.

My hands are swollen and the bones in my feet ache as though I have been dancing all night.

I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me? All this insomnia, anxiety, pishing. It’s been a rough few weeks, especially with my bladder playing up all night long. To be frank it feels like dying but don’t freak out…I have the strength of ten big burly angels of death inside me. Or I would, if my angels let me sleep. Hohum!

Good morning. I posted a video on YouTube during the night but it’s still buffering. Wtf? I am documenting my cronedom like it’s the most vital thing I have to do…like I know it’s my end…or my beginning.

God is great. Tanya is a Survivor and her krechtsing will go on. 🙂

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4:08 am another night without sleep but I am

Uploading one of my musing uniquely eccentric videos on YouTube. For posterity, for the sake of heaven, keeping a track of my rapidly disintegrating mind while I still can…People.

What did Sherrybaby say to me a few years back while pointing the bone at me?…”Time is of the essence!” Yeah…I get it. I am pouring myself into the slipstream of life like hydrochloric acid on marshmallow. Soft in the middle but gooey and gushing like a blithering maniac.

It‘s what I do best. The blarney.

15 November 2021

I have had a productive morning in spite of my bad asthma. I cleaned Charley’s cage, then the bird bath (old shower stall) then cleaned the fishpond filter.

I might have a rest now! I fancy a gum drop ice cream that oddly came up in my memories on this day many years ago! I bought some a few days ago!

Time loop! Time to Swing my legs like a 5 year old again and delight in the sweetness of life!

15 November 2020

Watching The Crown season 4. About Princess Diana and Camilla and that revolting hack she unwittingly married as a child bride. Horrid!

They are concentrating rather too much on Diana’s eating disorder. It’s awful. What hope did she ever have with those unscrupulous cheating bastards?!

They made her out to be a big slut screwing all her male aides to get revenge on Charles and Camilla. Then made her out to be weakly begging to stay married.

It was heinous. But we will never know the full truth. I still think she was murdered in that “accident” in Paris.

Oh they also focused on Andrew being Mummy’s favourite but we all know his friendship and collusion with Epstein. Yuck!

Not much left to glue on...but I must admit I am rather exhausted. I need to push through, keep gluing then need to grout it and seal it then varnish the legs etc.

15 November 2019

I had a powerful beautiful night at Ecstatic Dance. It was lovely to catch up with everyone again. It was nice to lose myself in a trance dance and ”fly” again.

Although I almost spun into Jon and got a bit of a fright. I spent a long time with my eyes closed just feeling into the music and moving accordingly. It really is a powerful healing modality! I highly recommend it for anyone who loves dancing and needs to embody their spirit a bit more.

I talked a bit too much (as I do when I am excited! Oy!) before and after but all good. I have met wonderful people there and feel loved and supported even for my epic weird ways!

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I feel really excited. I lost myself in the dance. I saw interesting shapes: a five sided shaped that looked like a rudimentary house. A love heart. An Art Deco type rectangle shape. No idea what it means. Except maybe there is love in my house? Lol.

I am reclaiming my sacred space energy in my home, garden, with my pets. Inside my own body, mind and spirit. I have been fighting a spiritual war for the past 5 months since that last surgery.

I got home and found Sophie lying on a kitchen chair. She seemed happy to see me so I showered her with kisses, gave her lactose free milk and some of my Brie from my toast. She looooved the Brie and the milk.

Update 15 Nov 2020: That was Ecstatic Dance. It started opening up my clairvoyance slightly.

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3:11 pm I must be mad. It’s scathing hot. But I am Going to Ecstatic Dance tonight. To move my body and shake up my meridians. It’s truly mad. But lovely!

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For those in partnerships: never let spiteful vicious envious pathetic and weak cuntish cunts come between you. Unless your man is a psychopath/ narcissist abuser...then run and never look back.

But if your love is good, authentic and safe...keep it fucking PRECIOUS.

So many interfered in my relationships and even nascent flowering love potentialities out of sheer fucking spite. I return their evil to them to the power of ten. Dead or alive you will pay your karma. Dickheads!

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Spirit nagged me to wash my car. Even nagging me to buy the car wash yesterday. So this arvo I have finally washed my car. Epic. But it looks lovely. Now I just need to vacuum it.

I hope the Ein Sof is happy I followed direct orders and his chariot is now clean, at least on the outside.

I said “Who are we trying to impress, Spirit?” They replied, sardonic and cryptic as ever “You will be surprised!” I have to laugh at my slowly dying sleep apnoeac brain.

But the car is clean...Aight???! Aight!

15 November 2018

I had a lovely coffee at Amanda’s coffee shop with Terrie which was lovely and comforting after my ghostly déjà vu experience at the op shop. I must remember next time I go there that they play the same old schlock shock songs from my abusive childhood. It’s not personal but it is triggering.

My stepfather the pervert winsomely seducing my mother with that song, usually after screwing around on her while simultaneously sexually harassing me as a child. Fuck those incestuous fuckers. They can fry in hell while I fly freely, in the face of G-d and angels and my earthangels that love me (in a wholesome way) and support me.

I might be permanently stained by my filthy family but I can also dance and dream and begin my life again. Over and over and over until their memory is but a bad aftertaste like resurgent vomit in my mouth.

They tried to kill me: but here I am! The rising Phoenix burning down my past and creating myself anew. One fucking day at a time! They made my life an episodic malignant Hell but I am responsible for my own Paradise!

I am Whom I Becoming! More and more myself. Brave and beautiful. Fierce and fragile. Adorable but uncompromising. Loveable and loving. Worthy!

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So I go to the local Salvation Army store to look for clothes. A song played on their radio “lay your head upon my pillow”. Uncle Cees’s favourite love song he used to butter my mother up like oil on glass, singing to her while playing the guitar.

I had an urge to run screaming from the store but thought fuck it...they can’t get to me, they are long gone and I am free. So I keep looking at clothes and managed to find a few nice items. (Hope they fit!)

Anyway as I am about to leave, paying for my wares at the register, “Muss I’ Denn” is playing. Jesus I say, I am seriously being haunted by my dead mother again!

What can I say? She always loved the Salvation Army who helped her get away from Jarman and of course her other mad passion was fossicking in second hand shops. (Which is why I usually avoid them and pondered my mad urge to go check it out today!)

Now I need a drink. Jesus!

I wonder if I will ever be free of abusive perverted ancestors. Ever?!

I hope to all the gods that day comes soon as it is so wearisome on my heart and soul.

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Crystal had an interesting insight yesterday. She said the aircon turning itself on (and other poltergeist activity I have experienced in recent years) can be attributed to my being in menopause. I had not realised that poltergeists are attached to menopausal Women as well as pre-pubescents.

Now I am becoming a Dowager Mage things are going bump in the night. Nice! Along with night sweats, itchy skin, mood swings etc I have paranormal Activity as well.

Ah well, I am a powerful woman so the spirits can only dance in my light (and Heat!) Lmao!

15 November 2017

I went to Moonlight Noodles to buy dinner last night. I haven’t been there for a long time. The woman who owns it not only got excited when I told her my name (I phoned my order ahead) but proclaimed when she handed my order that she was happy to see me and I looked gorgeous.

I was a tad taken aback as I had pulled my hair back in a ponytail to hide my really lank greasy hair, but had thrown on my coral with my tiki to brighten my black top and 3/4 length pants that I had not long before been working in the garden with. I was pale and drawn from exhaustion, having felt a tad suicidal and unwell in my gut earlier.

Well. Well. I was stunned. Death looks gorgeous on me. Good to know!

But I thanked her and shot her a half-smile and lumbered out the restaurant. Wow! That lady and her husband love me unconditionally! They have always been warm and kind, if a little too effusive. But how very lovely.

I got home and ate my meal with my usual gusto, sipped my cheap $5 Moscato and thought. Wow! Just bloody Wow.

It is so rare to find genuine lovely people. A precious gift to be treasured and appreciated.

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On Monday Jarrod and I were laughing about how cool it would be if I started my own night club. He joked I would be the perfect “Door Bitch”. I said “Screw that, I will be the boss and have all-female security, (former Mossad agents)”. Lol.

The more I think about it the more I like the idea. I would need to win lotto to afford the capital to start one up. But yesss a very attractive idea indeed.

I would hire the best live bands, have theme nights once a week, buy a building next to that rape factory Irish Murphy’s and take all their business.

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Cooking a Japanese curry. Yum! Hungry Mama T!

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Just received the specialist care voucher from QE 2 dentist. Yay! Made appt for a specialist next Thursday! Double Yay! Hopefully he can work out the source of my tmj pain and fix it. (That would be a triple Yay!)

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Another day in “Paradise”. Time to take my Beau for a long-awaited walk. I have showered and am ready to face the Day.

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11:11 am. Thank you G-d for all you have gifted me with. For Life, for Love, for Prosperity, for Peace, for Happiness and last but not least for Triumph.

For letting me see the world wake up and express its divinity in love for all humanity, respect for others and protection for those who depend on the powerful. Amen.

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We won! LOVE IS LOVE AND ALL AROUND ME. Thank you Australia for waking up to yourself. Less ashamed of you now!

15 November 2016

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Who will be by my side when my star rises and explodes into a champagne supernova? So many left me in my decades of trauma and even more cruel left me when I got my meagre Inheritance (were jealous of a car, new teeth and most bizarre of all my beautiful banana trees).

Brought me down to the gravel pit of shit when I was fighting the will dispute "you will lose, you will lose". Yup I lost. Up against liars,cheats, tramps, thieves and rapists. But the worst pain??

The ones who professed to love me, betraying me when I found my feet and slowly dragged my arse into some kind of tenuous equilibrium. I am almost there. Almost!

If one day I find a way to prosper/succeed/be truly loved in a genuine supportive partnership? Have all the things those friends and family did everything in their power to sabotage?If/when/how?

Who will be there beside me for the joyous rejoicing? For the triumph? For the glory, free of jealousy and spite? Only purest delight. True friendship/true love.

I already know.

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From 15 Nov 2016:

@Jarrod. Remember when I first left Micheal and I had to come to terms with the awful reality that I had to now cook our meals. Well most of them.

So I had a bit of a breakdown and you came over to "help" me cook and we made hummus and falafel and the Bamix was over-heating and I had hummus in humungous proportions so when it was all done, we sheepishly trawled up and down the unit complex looking for culturally effête white lower-to-middle class Aussies to accept our donations of excess Middle eastern food and the odd looks and polite slamming of doors we received.

Or the time I made a roast in my oven and got pissed and went to all my fellow single mother friends in the units yelling "I am a raging fucking success! I have a roast in the oven!" Then got so carried away bragging about my newfound freedom and cooking skills that I almost burnt the roast.

Haha. Or recently when a certain douchebag demanded I baked cheesecakes and my oven kept blowing the gas out and those cakes went on baking forever and I was a wreck then discovered he was only teasing me. So I hit back by sending him a photo of my cheesy cakes.

Or the times in my business when only you and I were rostered on (mad Tuesdays) and the customers fed off our madness so queued up for a block away and I would yell at you "More Chips! MORE chips" and you would yell back, " We have run out of frying space so fuck off". And steam would blow out of my ears and then we would both laugh until we cried.

Good times.

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Really quite sick. Nu? So what else is new? I could go to the dr that would take commitment. Also my GP is young, zealous and thinks I am an idiot.

I am not. I know this body. I have lived in it longer than she has been alive. I know when I dance too much that my immune system shuts down. She wants me to exercise longer and harder. Even my shrink agreed that would kill me.

But I might pop into her office. Get a script for an antibiotic as that annoying back of throat phlegm thing that has dogged me since March is back. Blech!

I will rest this week. Rest and reconnoitre the deep innards of my vessel and tell it to heal (or else!) as even I am sick of dragging a malevolent but sexy corpse around.

Mother!!! My body just won't cooperate! Mother! I need human intervention of the 4th kind. Mother!

I just remembered my mother's healing skills involved throwing chips, lollies, and chocolate at me and letting me lie wrapped in a blanket in front of the TV until I either cured myself or became so weak she had to drag me to a doctor.

Perhaps that is where I get my reticence about quackery from myself. If you can't eat it/ fuck it/ sing it/dream it then what is the point, really?!

I choose life. Not always my better option either. But this garment of fleshy sweaty delusion requires to be lived in until the veil of illusion pours through my flesh and slips surreptitiously into the other room. (Everybody look busy..)

I had a lovely day yesterday with my beloved friend Jarrod. I was itchy, sneezy, coughing copiously, chesty, wheezy and variously bitchy. I don't know how he puts up with me.

I was anxious about my car, my sunburn (this after copious lathering of sunscreen) and raving mad. Part of my charm I guess. My synchopated dissonance and refusal to be mundane.

The super moon rose and my dog barked at the idiots who stalked my house to see the moon. (Why do they do that!? The moon looks the same in their front or backyards too?)

Perhaps they think my witchy mojo will bring them moon madness. Instead they were verbally mooned. It was rather funny, if I say so myself.

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It is rather amusing how housing tradesmen try to make me out to be a) stupid b) crazy.

Electrician turns up. Tells me there is nothing wrong with the switch. Fiddles with it anyway. Tells me as he is leaving that the wasp nest in the switch might have gotten moist with the storms and humidity and caused the safety switch to flip. Checks safety switch. Tells me it is strong so not a problem.

Tells me to eliminate each possible cause of the switch by unplugging each pump until I find the faulty one. I know none of them are faulty (except it is possible that one of the plugs in the extension cords could have gotten damp. Now I will monitor it.

A few weeks ago the plumber that came out to fix the seals in the bathroom taps tried to tell me that water is always in the line and will always leak a bit. Um no! Idiot! Not if the taps and seals work.

It makes me furious how they try to feed me with bullshit then fix the issue anyway.

I will see how the switch behaves now that he has "fixed" it.

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5:11 am. 9:11 am. Now 11:11 am.

Synchronous flow. Where will this lead me? What does it mean, this holding hands with the angels and their Trickster jokes? A shift that has been emergent for over a month now. An awakening! A call to arms to love, be love, know love but let the smiting fall into its natural grace.

Those who truly trust in the Lord shall know peace. The gods of our understanding. The meddlers and panderers of men. Know thyself. You are the perfect microcosmic reflection of the unnameable divinity. Your own god. Living dead gods. Lol!

15 November 2015

10.09 pm. Just woke up. Slept from 6 am. My knee is very painful but that will settle in a few days time. I am glad I had a wild time.

I just locked up the chicken coops. A possum eating their grain in each one. They are so tame I had to nag them to get out. Lovely things.

I have fed the cats and now going to reheat pancakes I made when Karen stayed over. Yum! Hungry as an Ox.

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Update: well that breeder turned out to be sadistic monster. Doped the puppy. Vet advised me to give Alcide back. I was very distressed. (The puppy was supposed to be a companion only 3 months after my suicide attempt. Instead, only more abuse and bastardry.)

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3.55 am home from a great night out for Karen's birthday. We rocked out all night and moshed my neck discs out of place again, to Abby Skye's powerful voice and her band Mission X. Great stuff. They are back at the casino in 2 weeks.

I sat outside before heading home, with Katrina whom I haven't seen all winter. It was good to see her. Ellen, the lovely violinist was playing. She is moving to Atherton in early January. I will miss seeing her around busking in Brisbane.

Katrina told me that my friend Brian (another homeless person) is out of jail. I am so glad. I missed seeing him out too. It was nice to see old friends.

My feet are so sore they are throbbing and spasming. It feels like tiny pin pricks. I also hurt my damn knee. Again! When will I stop doing crazy shit like dancing all night with arthritic joints and a bung knee?

I really regret not suing Greenslopes Shopping centre years ago when I fell over on that spiral walkway and smashed my knee. It has been painful on and off ever since.

I hope I don't need a knee replacement. I was in the orthopaedic ward when I had my hysterectomy and those hip and knee replacements were excruciating. They had the patients up and walking in a day!

I was horrified. They have to, as it helps the new joint not seize up. Watching those women in rivers of sweat and pain was scary. They all felt sorry for me too. Arghh.

Time for a hot hot bath and think positive. I am strong, powerful and healthy! Yup! (Denial! lol). Just as well I have had 4 years of dancing. My window of opportunity is slowly closing. Getting too old for this shit.

15 November 2014

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28 deg celsius

Lying in my hammock. Cool breezes under my tree. I got up at 2 pm. Have had a nice cool shower and feel rejuvenated. The wind had dried my hair.

Everything is perfect in my world.

15 November 2012

Stormy weather is a-coming....we all know what that means for The Tanya....hahahaha!

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Hand is ueber sore now, but this is because I hammered in some stakes to protect my vege patch from the possums with my sore right hand, as I tried it lefthanded but had no strength or hand-eye coordination.

I had a lovely play with the three young chickens. They had a bit of a run on the grass but were obsessed with climbing on my back where I lay and one actually pecked my eyeball, after being curious about my eyelashes so I had to shield my eyes after that.

It was the baby Rooster. He is most curious, adventurous and intelligent. We had a bit of a cuddle, only the runt Ri-ri was hesitant but I managed to get a cuddle with her also. Then as dusk set in I had a bit of a job convincing Merlin the Rooster to go to bed. Hahha.

The other two new Point of Lay Pullets, (18 weeks) were so terrified of Hecate they spent most of day in the nest all huddled up. I had to make them have a run outside the chook tractor so they could eat and drink.

They are both very nervous and the little black hen has nothing of Lilith's bolsheyness and attitude. I expect they will settle in a week or two though.

I am really loving having them but must never risk leaving the gate open again. Don't want any more carnage or heartbreak!

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Just woke up. Hand sore from the removal of the small cancer sunspot. Still tired. Oh well, that is normal. I went to bed at 2 am so I think 10 and a half hours is all I need today lol.

15 November 2011

I didn't stop talking the entire trip except when I was asleep so I think I was rather annoying but it was so great to see Margaret and Neo and actually be in Sydney. I am still bursting with excitement and enthusiasm!

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Home from Sydney and Blue Mountains. I had a wonderful time in spite of Bella's health scare and my own poor health.

Yesterday we went to Sydney town for The Picasso Exhibition and Heidi met us at the Art Gallery and took us to Bondi Beach and to Warsobs Bay, the Gap and to her home in Vaucluse! All very beautiful! It was lovely to see Heidi again.

15 November 2010

Watered garden. It took rather a long time. Everything was so dry. Then I came inside to eat two bowls of goody gumdrops icecream from NZ. I hadn't had this flavour since I was a kid. I was swinging my legs and feeling very blissful! (My inner child loves being spoilt!)

15 November 2009

The Cosmic Punch Line is Delivered. It's hilarious. I'm laughing alone, but at least I get it now. Haahahhahahaah.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons