Memories: 15 July 2025

15 July 2025

8:15 am rough night. I squeezed a few hours rest in after about 4 or 5 am. My body was wired! I need exercise. lol.

15 July 2024

7:39 am I woke up at 6:50 am. I tolerated cpap well last night. Only had two pee breaks during the night. I’ve been lying here, still resting. My asthma is bad. Kicked back in after removing my cpap mask. About half an hour ago, which I find kinda interesting.

I’m hoping to go to the sea with Jarrod today. Whenever we both are up and at ‘em and ready to go! Maybe later this morning or by lunchtime. I didn’t set our plans in stone as our health is so precarious.

The art of going with the flow is more soothing on our nervous systems lol.

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15 July 2023

4:20 am I am home from dancing. There was a very weird vibe at the Livewire bar last night. Not many people. Less and less each weekend. Odd.

One of the security guards approached me to tell me to go sit on the couches and not the stage. I told him I had sat in this spot for 12 years.

“Really? He said, looking agitated and aggressive. I replied “Really! Ask anyone…ask the other security guards, ask the regulars…they will tell you!”

He then said he had never seen me before, which was a blatant lie but I played along handsomely by replying flatly that I had never seen him before either.

He walked away. They had been watching me like a hawk all night. It was a tad unsettling.

I suspect that since they got rid of Sigal (by accusing her of stealing!) which I find highly suspect and unlikely, that the “powers that be” will try to get rid of me next.

So I will keep dancing until they prevent me from doing so. (The last time I was prevented was by the idiotic Covid mandate).

15 July 2022

I feel very emotionally heavy today. Like being slathered in a clay that is drying out and tightening around my head. Not a good omen. When I feel like this it is an early warning system that major vicious attacks from various sources are impending.

I am sitting on the grass, getting sunshine warmth in my back. My lower lip (inside next to my teeth, is swollen still, a bit tender. But slightly improved since the past few days. I think it may be a reaction to the Breo steroid I am taking for my lungs.

The Bach flower essences are helping as I coughed up some dark green gunk this morning. Not much but enough to know it’s moving the hell outta my chest which is a good sign.

I have been debriefing a friend with serious health issues who is actively suicidal so that has been upsetting. She gave up her two beautiful dogs so I know her intentions to end her life are serious. She loved those dogs.

I rang Mandurah hospital mental health and they were totally disinterested in trying to find her, telling me there would be hundreds of patients by that first name and it might not even be the name she is under.

I got distressed and told the person on the phone, “so pay some homeless person $5 to visit every patient with that name and find out if she recently relinquished two dogs. I would do that if I physically there, to save her life!”

The blasé inhumanity and laziness and acopic behaviours of our Covid era is just fucking startling!

But my friend messaged me that she is in hospital and still alive so where there is life there is hope I suppose.

I will batten down my emotional hatches. I need to heal myself first and foremost.

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Watching “The Northman” on Dendy Home to Rent. Fantastic movie!

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Mama T should be out dancing! It’s Friday night. My mojo night.

But instead I am tucked up in bed getting old the old fashioned way! It’s too cold to be out tonight. Or rather, I have not felt well all day.

I thoroughly enjoyed The Northman movie. That almost inspired me to push myself out into the world and dance my Dance Sublime.

Maybe tomorrow night if I feel better. I need to protect my body mind and spirit more. Not Mustang Kwe myself to Oblivion.

Laila Tov. Good Night.

15 July 2021

12:57 am. Laila Tov. I had a very productive day. I made another knitted ghost tonight. (Well...the body of it. Still have the arms and ball and chains to make).

I am exhausted. But content with my life in this moment.

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I finished off the frame. I matched up the two copper catches that I was unhappy with. I painted the copper catches with triple glaze so hopefully that will stop them from tarnishing.

I had to glue one of the catches (top right) back in, as the wood is so old it was no longer grabbing the screw. Hopefully it’s okay now. I have hung it back up and yes…I feel smug and accomplished. Little things I achieve make me happy.

I wish my beautiful cat was still alive, that my true love partner had chosen me, that I had enough wealth to live comfortably, that my health was better, that I did not have such a filthy family of origin …but here is proof…that old picture survived Cees, Buck and my mother and will probably survive me now that I have renovated it.

It came to me why I had such difficulty throwing it away. It was probably sentimental to Cees as it used to house the picture of his childhood home. No big deal. But today I had an intuition that it might have been gifted to him by his mother whom he adored. And that is why it’s still with us. Hmmm.

He did not leave home (apart from his year and a half in the concentration camp) until he was 30. He was a mummy’s boy and loved to gamble with her at Klaverjas.

He was also a Womaniser and yes, an opportunistic predator on small children ...namely me…referring to me as “the Bonus”. If I could have my time with him again, I would set him on fire and watch him burn. But I suppose he is already burning in a small corner of hell.

So there is that!

I am free of all of them and it was no mean feat. I barely survived them and their predations and treachery and other vileness.

But yes… hineini…here I am. Brave staunch and slightly maddened but clear eyed and strong and yes, looking forward to the future promised me by the gods at my last serious near death experience.

The rectifications, recalibrations falling thick and fast. I am witnessing it. My Becoming.

If I play my cards right I might be in a vastly different and better space in the next 5 years. It’s hard to imagine a life where I am truly safe, loved, protected and surrounded by friends, family and a life partner who honour me with deep respect and unconditional love.

It’s a psychedelic dreamer’s dream I have been manifesting for a long long time. As reality has shifted into something even darker and uglier than most horror movies, I find myself ever more determined to have the life that was stolen from me by monsters and by complex trauma.

I beg the gods please, please stop killing off my pets. You want me…fucking come and get me. But stop the torture of taking away those I love and trust in the most. The innocent ones whose every breath is Love.

I am done suffering like this. It’s enough.

I know I prayed to be able to afford to travel to all the sacred spaces across the world and to have enough to live happily ever after in Byron Bay.

But that money never manifested and let’s face it…it would cost millions and I am cast into this life of scarified torment for no good reason other than my family of origin and former husband robbed me… over and over again.

So now I make spiritual Gold out of the remnant shit. Like a weaving and furiously stomping Rumpelstiltskin…the gods called my Name and I answer only to them. Vicious and capricious as they are…it’s all I know.

I want my truest deepest love to come to me and choose me. But that might never happen so I will be the truest deepest love I never had with any other mortal. I will love me back to Life and I will love me to the brink of Death.

I am used to living on the edge of mortality and reason. But it’s not fucking reasonable or terribly pleasant.

Socks’s Ashes arrive on Monday and that will be another sorrow. But love gifted me by that cat who was larger than life: physically and spiritually, can never be taken away.

Love is what remains after everything is said and done and yes…stomped into the ground and primal screamed to the 7th echelons of hell where my former kith and kin reside.

Even the devil cannot interfere with a love that won’t give up on life or each other…and gods knows….He tried! Lmao!

I am calling home my Beloveds from all paradigms to heal my life and my planet. To gift us the beauty, peace, good health and prosperity and the wholesome true LOVE long denied us. With harm to none, and competition from none…blessed and protected by God and his Arch angels.

I await the Becoming …even better in the months to come.

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Am currently striving to screw in the hardware for my newly renovated second hand blind. Fml! Life isn’t meant to be this difficult…innit?

But I have managed this before and I will do so again! If it takes all night!

Update: I give up. I have run out of oxygen and any ounce of strength I might have fantasised I had.

I will have to sleep without the blind tonight and try again tomorrow. I will need to bring in my big drill to unscrew the screws and install new ones. I was unable to remove them by hand.

If I can’t do the job tomorrow with the big drill I will have to hire a handyman. It’s fucking ridiculous how hard everything is!

15 July 2020

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Getting my stitches out tomorrow. Blech!

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I spent the day dictating my diaries into Word. Only 30 pages left to do! But I am very tired now. I will finish them tomorrow. I should buy myself a bottle of wine to celebrate after I have finished them. It’s been severely triggering but there were also a few funny quirky memories in amongst most of that horror.

I burnt the pages I had typed up in my fire. No more physical diaries but I have them saved in digital media. No more clutter. Yayyy!

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11:11pm. Angels everywhere, so many ladders, scrambling for ascension but the Fallen ones are dragging them back to earth. Kaplom! Down the rabbitses hole goes the Hobbit. I wants my Precious... but what izzzzz it?

Never mind Tanya-le...Better luck next life. (Sotto voce muttering...”fuck off...”.). fade to Black!

15 July 2019

I woke up, feeling sad. Thinking about the cruel people in my life. Especially ones I loved with everything I had/have.

The wind is wild outside. It is cold. Another fucking day in Paradise. But I must get up. I have twinges of pain in my side where the drain wound was. 20 days after surgery. Shit. But all good.

I had a beautiful day yesterday, lying on the grass with my animals. Alone but loved by pure hearts and great gods.

So today I will make beautiful too. I have the power.

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I will not indulge in any more surgeries since I was treated so abhorrently. I thought I was doing the right thing by choosing life and having a diseased gall bladder excised.

But what kind of life have I chosen? Not one worth fighting for as hard as I have done all my life.

There will be no more surgeries since I cannot trust humans. I wish I had followed that last beautiful red-thread of a breath I could have gracefully gone out on, were it not for that fucking monitor on my thumb.

Since I am expected to barely survive ALONE without after-surgery care. With barely any care at all except from Jarrod and Lyn and a few cheerleaders on fb. (Thank you Friends I am grateful!) Then Alone I shall remain. I will heal (or not, according to my appointed destiny!) and I will take every moment of my life: the good, bad (utterly horrific!) and the indifferent with me!

I will rejoice in my blossoming into the Void. It is beautiful. Blessèd. Honourable. My true loves and true tribe embraces me. I can see them. Far into another paradigm. We laugh and play by the beach. (You and me Nigel :-))

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15 July 2018

I might not have a true Lover Man to treat me like a Queen and love me no matter what, but I have beautiful friends, my bird, my cats, my dog, goldfish, a Siamese fighter fish (Betta), two hens, my beautiful daughter, my cousins and tiny residual family and the entire universe inside me.

Cosmic consciousness gleaming in the paradigms. Laughter and pure unabated love from the Sephirot.

Laura Martin: I'll take the unconditional love of an animal over any man! ;-)

Me: Amen Sister. A-Men!

The angels have my back, although they did have a strange habit of sending me men who believed they were angels but were actually paranoid schizophrenics (ahem!). No judgement. In fact I still love the last Angel man although true to form he turned out to be no angel.

Haha. He was however, a catalyst for my awakening into my own power as a woman. The more he dishonoured me, the more I fought to empower and love myself in such a way that only good kind people were drawn to me. So he did me a backhanded favour. I love him greatly but he will never know what that means. Alas and anon! Next!

Anyway, he made mockery of my Jewish G-d (which if you know me is a rather foolish thing to do). I might not be much of a Jew anymore, but I have a close bond with The Holy One (in fact I am His/Her favourite lab rat) and have one of Their Holiest Names tattooed on my arm “I am That I am” or “I Am Whom I am Becoming”.

So when the former lover dissed my G-d by claiming he was a Living god and I should worship only him (narcopathic traits) I was bemused when he was instantly smited with severe constipation for 4 hours.

I said “of course you can’t shit. Living gods who dishonour the Creator of the universes quickly find out they are mere mortals after all! Living gods have no need of an alimentary canal!”

I offered to take him to the hospital. He demurred. Of course he was full of shit. But he learned a valuable lesson that day. Hohum. He got scared of my power (I had nothing to do with his bowel obstruction!) and ran off with another woman.

I was utterly devastated for a long time but The Holy One knows and The Tanya Knows and that is how it blows. Funny shit. But true.

I still laugh at my now-dead former lover (another David!) who once told me “Come to me in Love and Submit!” So I replied “I submit to no Man but G-d and even Him I’ll argue with!” He laughed.

What is it about my destiny on this planet that I have been dogged by abusers and traitorous curs in all my sexual relationships??? Childhood abuse left a great stain upon my body, psyche and light body. Bastards! But I forgive myself for not being able to make it in the real world.

It’s all part of the Divine comedy and Someone Somewhere has had a lot of fun at my Soul’s expense. Yes the Holy One loves His Tanya and won’t let me thrive or have a love partner until I have satisfied his Quest. (Whatever the hell that is!)

But I know I am Loved by the Ancestors and The Invincible Inimitable One, by all the myriad gods and goddesses, by the Angels, by the Elementals, by a few good kind humans, by Life, by myself.

And so I am content with my lot. The pillar of salt is behind me. I built it out of tears and trauma, grief and loss, hatred and debasement. It’s melting in the desert of lost souls. They lick it and cleave to it and succour their own griefs. But when it joins the sands of time I will be free.

Laura Martin: Life is strange. David is the name of the man who drugged, kidnapped and raped me every day for almost a year, before I finally broke free. He knew that my Christian faith is the most important thing to me, so he went out and bought (with money he stole from me) a giant painting of the Hindu elephant god, Ganesha, and he tried to force me to kneel down and worship it.

Well, you can do a lot of things to me, but the one thing that you can NEVER, EVER do is make me renounce my God! Why is it that the first thing a man wants to do is control, isolate and tear down everything that means the most to us? Sick, twisted bastards!

Me: I have deeply loved 3 David’s in my life. The first was my father. The second (so good they named him twice -evil bastard David Davidson), the third Dave.

If I ever meet another David I know to just smile politely and walk away very very quickly. All good.

I still love the last one (only the gods can even know why as he was a coward and a runner, a teaser and cheater!) but he came to me in a golden light and I could feel his energy with such a powerful intensity that I almost believed he was an “angel” after all.

I prefer my men to be Real however. Authentic, decent, kind, honourable and if in partnership with me (however briefly at least) faithful and loyal!

(Which is why I have a dog!). Lmao!

Of course it has always been almost impossible to find and keep a sexual partner as I have no money, and nothing to offer but myself also my own c-ptsd and intellect makes me wary and gunshy and intolerant of bullshit!). So my next quest is to enjoy the remains of my days and live life ebulliently in spite of my life situation.

I lost so much in life but bit by bit Creator is gifting it all back to me. Harmonic resonance and karmic justice (since human justice was a filthy lie and a betrayal!)

Watch this Sacred Space. The Tanya is Back! Version 53.

Don’t mess with a daughter of the gods. Lmao!

(They even rejected me and cast me back to earth when I was 50 so my mission is not fully accomplished yet). And yes, it hurtsssss. But there has been great joy in the rebuilding also.

I must say this though Laura, Ganesha is a fine god. If you look at ancient carvings he actually is not an elephant at all by a space man with some kind of breathing apparatus. If you study the ancient Vedas there were visitors from space that helped the inhabitants of the earth (the gods!)

My own beloved Holy One was very likely also an extra-terrestrial that utilised technology. Eg the ark of the covenant is now understood to have been a radioactive device.

So even that jealous murderous G-d of my Hebrews may not be the One!

5000 gods can’t be wrong! They are all manifestations of the Creator of all universes and all beings and all that is/was/ever will be.

I still believe in the One as I am still a tiny spark of that Divine unity. In this we are all interconnected.

I bow before no man (but I love and respect all the gods that teach Love, Peace, Joy and respect for all life in all paradigms.)

And if I am wrong and there truly is no god but constipated love interests… then I will return to the dust of the earth as compost or ashes and feed the fecund soil to begin the cycle again. Nothing wasted or ever truly lost on Mother Earth. Lmao!

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Trigger warning: intrafamilial incest

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(See 15 May 2017 for the full story):

Comments from 15 July 2017:

15 July 2017

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Harvey is much more settled and is sleeping under the duvet with me. He loves the warmth. I told him that his daddy will be back this afternoon and he looked relieved and sort of wise and accepting.

He was a wreck yesterday and I felt scared and guilty about going out so I left him a smelly skirt I had worn for 2 days on a blanket so he had something to snuggle in while I was out. He also had Bobo for company.

I told everyone at Ecstatic Dance that I was stressing about my dogs and how I am an adult and I reserve my right to party but dogsss simply don't comprehend these things. They smiled.

I am surrounded by so much love and am grateful for it but it can be a bit cloying at times. The Tanya needs to run Wild with the Wolves, the Wind and her own bone-breaking churning need for Freedom. Her sunflower soul blossoms and follows the Sunshine.

Harvey and Bobo were very forgiving and have been calm and happy since I came home last night. Penny is in bed with the dogs too.

Everything is harmonious. There is a very high vibration in the house. I hear a high pitched tone. But that might just be my brain frying from over-exercise and sleep deprivation.

The dogs and Charlie and I had a long walk in the forest yesterday, as well as the dancing at night. My legs feel taut like steel Springs about to eject a pilot out of his seat in a crazy nosedive into.... whatever!

I am getting stronger and I found myself healing others during my Ecstatic Dance. It was intense. The woman came to thank me and stated she was leaving as her body needed rest. I just nodded, said "Blessed Be!" and kept on cavorting, shaking off her negative energy that had caused her distress and shaking off mine as well!

It was unexpected and a tad magical so I think it scared her a bit. All good. Not my journey. I just empathised and connected and held her (non-verbally) with the impression that all is well with her.

Weird things happen when you let go and go with the flow!

15 July 2016

Trigger warning: depression, cptsd, intrafamilial incest, coarse language, treachery, human sexuality.

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So tired. I went to sleep at 2.44 am then woke again at 4 am. Then again at 7 am. Now at 9.11 am. I had to get up and give Bobo a bone as he won't stop barking and is very actively annoying. I am lying in bed trying to figure out how I can be so exhausted and so super-charged at the same frigging time?

Hormones/trauma/grief/cronedom? Or is it another spiritual alignment?

Yesterday was harrowing. But during the night my mood balanced out to a slow hum of what passed for contentment. Oh, how I wish I could find peaceful resolution and contentment. It is such a pleasantly mellow vibe. Almost addictive. Warm fuzzy comfortable.

There was a time (a long hard arduous time) that I never thought this state of being could be possible. It has come as quite a shock.

My body is still trying to catch up to the vibe. I guess knowing Love is eternal and outliving all my enemies has given me a certain degree of hubris. They thought they could completely annihilate me and get away with it.

Well, so they did, but David's quadruple nocturnal emission/transmission on his way to the next dimension has set me free of that awful painful past. The part he played in it - his fucking betrayal, gas-lighting, back-stabbing and collusion that cost me 20 years of my life, my sanity, safety and ultimately my inheritance, cost him dearly too. Kismet!

His other cohorts who damaged me and my children will pay too. I have only to be patient. Vengeance is Mine. Let go Let G-d. G-D is Great but so am I.

What was lost is being regained - in honour, beauty, wisdom and integrity. I was torn on the threshing floor of life. Beaten, raped, strangled, spat on, love-starved, denied my right to thrive by lesser mortals who set themselves up as healers, gurus and witches of Power. Weak narcissists of greed, vanity, ego and lust. Weak!!

In the face of my fury they crumpled like the shallow vapid pack of cards. The red queen, "But I love you Darling, I always loved you". The knave, "I have a remedy. Is this the most magnificent penis you have ever seen?" No. It is just swollen rotting meat that warmed itself in too many ovens without recourse to a woman's heart and soul. You infantile Fuck!

The Jabberwocky “Come stay overnight Jasmine. I have painted the lavender room just for you." Fucking sociopathic thieving lying paedophile and conartist. Wooed my greedy Narcopath mother with fake internet castles in (lol!) Transylvania, Romania and Hungary, lying puerile Dutch-Indonesian Count Von Buckula, The Schmuck!

(People with actual castles simply do not steal inheritances for their own children or destroy women and children to gain wealth. They are not petty, violent con artists who terrorise via intermediaries and bought-and-paid-for mercenaries.)

Then the Moroccan versions of tweedledum and tweedledee (green-teethed supermarket fucker and his vagina-exposing mad fuck of a sister "You were supposed to marry my brother so we could inherit all your mother's money." I begged her to stop him from threatening me and my girls with rape and mutilation.

"No you deserve it. It is not my fault you can't keep a man!" Such debased hatred based on their envy and their greed. I begged and begged. Finally I said "what you have done to me and mine will be done to you. There will be no mercy for you."

Then in 2008 she debased herself on National TV. I was awestruck. Also a little hysterical with schadenfreude. Also final visible visceral proof that my G-D had finally heard my prayers from a decade before and the smiting - figuratively, metaphorically, spiritually and even physically had begun.

Why did I have to wait so long? Perhaps G-d had to know whose heart and mind remained pure and sort the chaff from the wheat. Perhaps after decades of my suffering even S/He/It (SHEIT) said Enough is enough. Let's cut the Tanya some slack. Let Us show her we believe in her as much as she believes in Me/Us. As much as she believes in herself.

Miracles do happen. I prefer instantaneous lights, bells and whistles ones, like the one that saved me when I fell out of the Police Academy bus in 2000. That was mysteriously edifying. It was evidence that I am meant to be here.

I was so ill that entire year that I barely made it to work most days. Freshly traumatised. Severely depressed, often suicidal. But when push came to shove, hurtling forwards on my high heels down the bus steps, about to smash my skull on the kerb, I once again chose life.

Life was very hard to keep choosing. Still is. But I was never ever going to let my enemies win by giving them the gift of my Life. They took enough from me. Bloodsucking soul sucking vampyres. In the end it was the Brisbane CBD police with more systemic abuse that almost finished me off.

11 months later, and here I still am. Tragically powerful in my strive to survive and thrive. In my super-power of no-longer-giving-a-Fuck. We live but one life (at a time!)

We pass this way only once. But ultimately everything is temporary which is why we need to keep ourselves precious and keep enough love/mana/respect for ourselves alive to enrich and inspire this dying planet and its inhabitants.

Everyone wants to own a piece of The Tanya. But she shimmers and shines. She is like air. Like Quicksilver she runs away and repels any or all whom try to control/contain her. She was not born of woman even though she was spawned and incubated by one.

She was used/manipulated/betrayed/abused/slandered/stolen from/fucked/cheated on/beaten/spat on/denied.

But she was also protected enough by a very select few - enough to prolong her life /provided for/ gifted/loved/respected and upheld. Her Angels never left her back or side.

Sometimes they rode shotgun with her. Sometimes they disappeared into other realms and she screamed into the Void, the Wind, the tempestuous seas. Help me. Help me. The Lord helps those who help themselves. Yeah right, but with a little help from our friends He got us through.

Glory be to G-D on the Highest. The best sense of humour this side of eternity. I fell off my perch one too many times but an angel/eagle/dragon lifted me up and raised me on high again.

Trust! In your own Life and your ability to heal, be real, feel and get back on an even keel.

They tried to kill us. We won! Let's eat! Nil Carborendum et Bastardoes -Never Let the Bastards Grind you down (Thank you Harry Smith Z"l and Gordon Senator!) Your words of whimsical warrior's epithets gave me strength in the darkest of times.

I know you all thought me crazy but the proof is in the pudding. 100 per cent. I have been loved unconditionally by great men and women with vision and honour for me. You make the hundreds that sleighted and debased me look ridiculous and pathetic. If only. If only they had not even been allowed to do me so much harm. What might I have been?

So this is a Fuck You to my detractors and abusers and a Thank You to those few beautiful loving spiritual Souls who brought me to this season.

Grateful Happy Woman here. A thousand kisses and blessings be upon you. You know who you are.

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Today's Tzores!!! My Bosch front loader washing machine is leaking. It needs a new rubbery seal thingy which will probably cost a fortune. Grrrr! But it lasted 5 years so that was a wonderful gift from a benefactor.

Then just saw that Mushu has an infected eye. So went into panic mode and bathed his eye with salt water. I will have to keep an eye on his eyeball. It might need veterinary attention.

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I have spent the last few hours outside in the cold damp air. Cleaning out my fishpond filters and topping up the ponds. Then I gave the front garden a good soaking. Everything is so dry. Rain was forecast for the past few days but all we got was epic moodiness from the skies and a light sprinkle.

I also brought most of my washing in which I was surprised was dry given how cold, grey and damp the air has been.

I also observed another hyacinth bulb has popped up. It was hidden by the straggling carnation. So 2 outta 3 ain't bad.

Then I came inside, fed the animals, made a cup of tea and devoured 4 passion fruits from my garden. They were delicious. Happy with my Sacred Space!

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Shabbat Shalom! Tempted to go to shul in Margaret Street. That would set the cat amongst the pigeons! I haven't davened in a shule in a long time. I wonder if I would even remember the Hebrew blessings?

Shomrei (x3) Shabbat b'koreh oneg Shabbat.

Bit of a song there. This little Heathen better scrub up, dress up and show up for her usual celebration of freedom/life/ happiness and go dancing for Oneg Shabbat.

I am frozen cold so might need a steaming hot bath first just to warm up.

15 July 2015

3.11pm at dentist with Lyn and Aali. Little Aali had 2 fillings. Little champion.

I feel like all my vitality has been sucked out of me. My energy just ebbs and flows like the tides.

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Tonight I am unwell yet again. Fatigue and stomach pains. At least the nausea has ended.

I am so worn out from being constantly sick. Stress is killing me slowly and painfully. This too must pass.

15 July 2014

I had a beautiful night with my beautiful friend, Lyn last night. She spoilt me rotten feeding my exhausted Valkyrie spirit with 2 huge helpings of chili con carne on rice. I hoovered the food like a newly rescued sailor on a deserted island!

We then went down to her pergola and we built the fire in her Chimenea and we sat and chatted happily, enjoying the moon beams which although already waning had a huge Corona. It was a beautiful sight.

At the end of our evening Lyn gifted me with an eagle feather that she found after she rescued a sick sea eagle (another huge mojo blessing for me!) and a packet of 4 tiny metal Viking Warriors she bought for me at the Medieval Festival. I am delighted and grateful.

I slept all day today and am still a tad weary but the night is mine! I see we got a bit of rain which is ironic as I watered the backyard yesterday. Good to see the heavens had a little purge of its pregnant waters. We need the rain..not too much but a good healthy regular soaking.

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15 July 2013

May 2013. Wheeee! Me with Aaliyah!

It was one of those magic moments of crazy spontaneity. I just felt like leaping about for joy that day so joined Aali on her trampoline. Just after Lyn took the pic we fell down and giggled and cuddled for a while.

Aali is an amazingly bright super-energetic kid. She is accustomed to her mad Auntie Tanya arriving, having a cup of tea then going for a nap while she pats me to sleep so it was quite a lovely twist for her to see me bouncing my inner child on her trampoline.

I told her some grown ups never grow up, they just get older, tired and sometimes silly. She thought that was funny.

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I am happy and drunk on a bottle of cheap red wine after my 2 day Growth!

I was happy before but there is something to be said about the freewheeling rush of alcohol and fermented grapes in my discombobulated brain.

Heidi, if you see this, tell my undead traitor of a sister Angela who declared me dead 2 years ago, that I am very much alive and Désirée is back in the Game of Thrones. She and her Ilk failed to kill me, so the Bitch is very much Back!

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I have slept all day. I had a lovely time last night at dinner with the 2 Sarahs at Montezumas, then coffee at Garden City. I was really exhausted but it was nice to see them.

15 July 2010

Last night I stayed up until 2 am. Today I achieved nothing. I guess there's always tomorrow. I posted more info to my lawyer today so have felt really drained and bitter from it all. I can see why lesser mortals just give up and walk away cos it's all too gruelling but I will live to fight another day.

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Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons