Memories: 11 November 2025

11 November 2025

7:49 am

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11:42 am All set. Now just pre-polishing and graving the edge. Then high polish.

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https://youtu.be/-Wtocog_s7g?si=2Y-4PYks2QM-FBlm.

“I finished the ocean jasper pendant”

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11 November 2024

https://youtu.be/G2bPO-hOt5A

Day 12 Sybil Chronicles

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https://youtu.be/cwdvTb3GLVI

Sybil has left Sacred Space.

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Sally Castle visited me this afternoon. It was great to see her. She is flying out to Wellington tomorrow.

11 November 2023

12:57 am

They are playing Cotton Eye Joe. 🙂. Brooklyn Standard with Ramjet. The Tanya is rejoicing!

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3:53 am

https://www.facebook.com/reel/295844396558194?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&mibextid=ycSRXG

Haha…so my recent love interest is kinda excited by how fat I am. Which is a tad astonishing. So this just makes me laugh out loud.

Never ever fucking starve The Tanya. The struggle is real! Lol

11 November 2022

This afternoon, about 12:30pm I went to Cocos at Annerley to buy fruit and vegetables. I shuffled around the store. Heat distressed and as often happens in supermarkets, disassociative.

I found myself several times staring longingly at the freezers. Not even focusing on what I wanted or needed. It took an iron will to move on and adapt to the environment and to try to focus on what I most needed.

I eventually made it to the checkouts but they were all busy. Psy sigh…I thought. I can wait. Life is waiting. I felt increasingly like I was not even there. Like I had left my body.

A man just to the right of me had only a cantaloupe in his hands. I had quite a lot more. So I told him he could go in front of me as I wasn’t in a hurry.

He gave me a lovely smile and told me I was a very kind woman. There was a slight play of mischief in his eyes. So I replied sardonically and mischievously with “ I know...I know…you can kiss me later”.

….say what??? Wtf is wrong with me? I have zero interest in kissing random strangers. I must have looked askance at my own comment as the man paid for his cantaloupe and almost ran out the door to escape the crazy woman. I watched him run, but I also knew he was secretly thrilled.

Anyway no harm no foul. But altered state Tanya better watch her manners! I might end up kissed right in the smacker, against my better judgement.

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I put my mug of tea in the microwave to heat up. It’s clock says 11:11 am. My throat closes up. This is getting ridiculous! I look at my iPhone. It’s actually 11:08 am. I remember that my microwave runs fast.

Phew. But that means I will see 11:11 twice in a matter of minutes.

Okay synchronicity angels..take a break. It’s starting to get on my last nerve! (Just as I hit the last character of “nerve” my iPhone shows 11:11 am. Smart bastards…but funny.…)

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1:11am on 11:11:22. A potent day. The birth of my friend Efrain’s son is imminent. I have yesterday and these previous few hours, been transcribing on vocal media. I am utterly exhausted.

Later today, I need to buy groceries (blech). I went to Aldi yesterday but I got lost in this weird mental fog so rushed home without half the stuff I needed. I got confused as they had a lot of missing supplies. No beef stir fry so I put the hokkein noodles back.

I am not coping with the weirdness in the supermarkets or the price gouging or the lack. It is starting to panic me actually.

All day I have been shown 11 sequences. I woke up and saw 9:11 then 11:11,. 12:11 then 1:11, then again 11:11pm, now 1:11am. The reason it’s so intense is probably because I am on my iPhone looking at my weird writings over the last decade.

But tonight time felt like it slipped sideways. It went slow then sped up. I might just be having one of my usual breakdowns though. Trawling through my archives on fb will trigger that (giggles!)

But I am about to go to sleep and all I can say is “wow!” I am preparing for something wonderful, unexpected and intense.

I feel like another shift is coming and it’s going to bring people together in solidarity and bring us to more cohesion, loving kindness and support. Or am I just projecting what I really want for myself: true love, peace, abundance, and a tribe who has my back and my front and loves me for whom I am in all my unique ways. No competition, no malevolence. Just harmonising with my spirit.

Hmmm. The psychedelic dreamer better hit the hay before she goes a little cray cray…gods bless. Laila tov!

11 November 2021

7:45 am not much sleep last night. It’s gonna be a crazy Tanya type of day! I was itchy with prickly heat and agitation. So exhausted.

But here is what I did with my stationery box last night.

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Just whacked some varnish on it. Put another coat of varnish on my desk and filing cabinet.

Back in bed I go.

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Just wow. FYI I am not aligned with any political parties. I have zero trust in Labour after the threats, coercion, gaslighting, bribes, and even lotteries(?) et al of Palazcuk’s government. I will never ever vote Labour again.

But this was very interesting. Albeit harrowing given the expected outcomes.

(Some article which was removed by ignoble cowardly predatory censors or other societal trolls gone rogue!)

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I have achieved all my goals today. (Bought in a few more groceries as they will be needed when I am locked down for daring to maintain my body autonomy).

Had a coffee and a disgusting frozen vanilla slice which will probably gift me food poisoning as well. Thanks Woolworths! So much for my little meagre bit of a treat to have with my coffee.

I had to rush home to put the meat I bought into the freezer as it’s a scathingly humid day.

So I am sitting in my Lounge with the air con on and that was the most practical and wonderful gift ever given me (as was the washing machine!)

I have a huge broiling anxiety today. I rushed to put the things back In Order in my studio but the varnish has had 2 hours to dry but still feels sticky. So it might be wise to not put all the stuff back on the desk for at least 24 hours.

So my dining area and studio is a mess so I am running around feeling discombobulated but this is only a temporary situation. So I need to just calm my own “farm”.

(Breathes!) mindfulness is a valuable skill. Breathes again… keep breathing until the day I can’t autonomically breathe ever again.

It’s all an illusion and a programme. A virtual hologram in a life gone Berserk. Everything but everything is temporary. I am temporary. Life is temporary.

I never hoard food as it’s against my personal beliefs about lack and greed and corruption I did however buy a packet of toilet paper as I will be enforced to hunker down. Even that is not hoarding as it’s one packet and will be needed next week.

Hmmm…I don’t need to justify my existence to anyone. Ever. Yet here I am…hineini. Ridiculous, n’est-ce pas?!

11 November 2020

I had a gorgeous day today! I even met a lovely man who rather astonishingly asked for my number. I was really taken by surprise.

Megan Phillips: Did you give it cuz? I'm gonna give you a virtual slap thru the lap top lol, a lovely man is a rarity....

Me: he is maori and younger too. He was so lovely that I actually did give him my number.

But tbh I don’t expect to hear from him.

Megan: you need someone younger, I hope he's respectful

Me: he was... he asked me if I am married.

Megan: You'll hear from him, or he wouldn't of asked, we are direct people.

Simon Sawyer: Megan Phillips there's plenty of us around 🙄

Megan: Simon Sawyer us what

Simon: Megan Phillips lovely men

Megan: Simon Sawyer ok

Simon: Tanya Arons maybe he's 'the one' lucky you. Fingers crossed for you ❤️

Me: Simon Sawyer well let’s not get too excited. He has not called me ...yet. But it was delightful when he followed me out of the shop we were both in and asked for my number then said he was flustered and didn’t know what to do!

So I gave him my cheeky grin and told him “I am not That scary!” when really I know I am bloody terrifying. It was cute and hilarious.

The people in the shop asked me if we knew each other. I said Nup we just met I don’t know him from Adam.

I advised him not to buy seconds quality resin for his garage floor or he will be so sorry he will want to kill someone but it better not be me!

So I actually upsold him to buy the premium product as I could not bear to see anyone waste money on such a big project.

The staff were so impressed they gave me a free sample of casting resin and a discount which i thought was very kind. So it was a very bizarre random way to meet a man lmao.

Simon Sawyer: Tanya Arons I live in a permanent state of excitement 😆

It's kinda tiring, but fun lol

No risk, no gain. If we don't try, we already lost ❤️

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Watching Addicted in SBS. Powerful. Everyone needs to see this to educate themselves about the reality of Addiction.

I feel very grateful that in spite of my serious cumulative traumas I did not develop full blown addiction (apart from my struggle with love addiction and choosing the types of men who only wanted to destroy me!). That was quite damaging enough, thank you very much.

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I never want to rely on a man in a red suit to provide me with all my goodies anyways. Historically it's always been disappointing lol

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Memory from 2016:

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11 November 2019

Some time ago during a debrief with my psychiatrist, I said “Why would any man want me? I have absolutely nothing to offer except despair and poverty!”

My doctor, looked at me with a deep nurturing concern. “You have much to offer, Tanya!” I said “Oh yeah, what is that!!” He replied, gently with the patience and wisdom of a Saint. “Love!”

So I have had some kind of breakdown in recent weeks but in true Tanya characteristic-style it has brought me to a strange kind of breakthrough. Love is all I need and all I can give.

I must endeavour to attract one worthy of my own unique love signature, soul resonance so we can vibe together in a harmonious streaming as I am so tired of rejection and bullshit trickster games.

Love. Is not always enough. But it is a good space to start from and an even better space to come back to in this eternal dance of Life.

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I woke up with bad asthma, coughing and choking after stepping outside and inhaling all the smoke.

This government is literally committing genocide with its greed, corruption and wilful ignorance to deal with climate change.

I am not merely angry. I am furious/disgusted/sick from the post-modern effects of violating our one and only home Earth!

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11 November 2018

I think I have naturally activated my dmt molecules in striving to stay alive. I don’t need psychedelics to remind me of my existence. Just plain old cannibis for my complex ptsd is soothing enough. ;-)

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Wow. 12:45 pm just woke up again. Thank you Nigel for messaging me last night and encouraging me to stay home. (He felt I was in danger) I was exhausted but had not realised it and was still intent on dancing a second night.

Harvey needed me home and screamed in the hallway until 12:30 ish and had me rushing him out to pee so I am glad I stayed home with him too. So after our 7:30 am wake up call for more pishing, the dogs and I crawled back into bed and here we stayed!

Time to get up! My back aches, my knees ache and my feet still ache and my belly aches but it is time to reclaim my day!

Good afternoon! Much love and peace from a frenetic Berserker Phillips/Arons woman who is unquenchable with a thirst for life that can only be felt by one who had almost died a thousand times. (Ok Ok slight hyberbole, maybe a dozen or so times...😉 ).

11 November 2017

I went dancing last night as my tummy finally settled down and I felt the urge to move my body (after two weeks of illness). So I went to the casino and had a great time dancing to “Alter Egos” with Adam, Luke, Jane and Jenny. We all had a blast!

No one hassled or threatened me, which meant I could strut my stuff without cracking my own tmj joint! Noice!

Even the DJ that came on at 2 am who usually only plays awful techno/house music played better stuff. He was cute and passive aggressive. He played 5 songs in a row about Big bottoms.

I was hamming up as I do, slapping my arse and laughing but after 5 in a row I stood up and pointed at him. “5 big bottomed songs. Someone has the arse!”

He smiled and kept mixing, but no more arsehole songs for the rest of the night. Haha. He must have been told to play a wider repertoire and that was his rebellion.

Anyway we all had fun, goodnaturedly ramping up the “sexuality”. Two lovely young Islander sisters came to dance with me and one got a little too erotic and grabbed my breast. “Now now that’s enough out of you!” She laughed. She was a cheeky little rascal. Straight.

Her sister told me she was hoping to find a man that night lmao. But Adam was laughing as he knew they came to me for protection as at 3 am, the grey wolves/sharks/and crocodiles started circling.

He said “Look at all the predators moving in!” I said “I know right! That’s why the sisters did the whole lesbian routine to scare off the guys”. We both laughed.

Adam kept a protective eye out for me last night too, which was lovely. Fortunately crazy creepy stalker guy didn’t turn up to ruin my night.

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Feeling loved, validated, appreciated and happy. In spite of everything. I am savouring this moment as it is a rare and precious gift.

11 November 2016

I am grateful to G-d and the Angels for bringing me to this moment of peace. So many brilliant talented muses have died this year. Such a great loss to our world. But their spirits remain eternal and will continue to inspire, comfort and encourage us all.

11 November 2015

11 days and counting until I meet the new Love of my life! A little fluffy bum one. He won't take up as much space on my bed as a human man. He will be cuddly, faithful, loving and protective.

Psy Sighs! I can hardly wait.

11 November 2014

Marzipan and Jack Daniels. A gastronomic sensation.

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My God it is hot today! I have just let out the silkies as I forgot to lock up Tabitha and Elvira last night. Now they are all running around the back garden. I gave them frozen banana from my last crop. They are happily munching on them now. Happy chooks, happy Mama!

I am stuck at home as Crystal has my car. Dang blam it! I guess I could take a bus to Bunnings but Bunnings is a dangerous place for me to go. Lol.

My outdoor table I got off the side of the road 7 years ago is collapsing. I need to source a new one! Hmmm, Universe? Can you hear me??? Or have you got Selective Deafness again?

“You with all your demands again? First you wanted Freedom out of that bad marriage. I got you free, then you wanted a boyfriend, I got you a cross-dressing man-child Morrocan Israeli Terrorist, then you wanted another one, I sent you David Davidson. Is it my fault you are a psychopath magnet?

Then I sent you another Black Prince of Darkness from Ethiopia. Is it my fault he was a practising liar? Then you chose to be celibate for years. Then I sent you a man to fix your car. Which he did for 5 years so you could enable his drug-taking and have regular sex.

Then you wanted Freedom! Then finally, finally I smited all your enemies and instead of you truly enjoying your freedom which cost so dear, you whine for a man again. And now an outdoor entertainment table? Next you will want to win Lotto and buy a nice house for security too.

Don't you get it yet, Tanya. No man has ever brought you true love or security. It is Verboten. Now crawl away, take a Valium and hug one of your many true loves. Your cats! You ungrateful Hag, you!”

Yeth Mathter of the Univerthe!

I think I have to take my requests for Ultimate Love and Freedom and Independant wealth and security to a Higher Power!

.....primordial consciousness....are you there????!

[#%^€£<#!....no. I no live here anymore. Too many G-d Botherers. Enough already]

Ok.. We need to talk. When you get back to me!

As you know, No is not the answer to the Meaning behind the Universe. Yes = Creation, all is possible. yes also equals Denial. But I do try, oh God I try not to be denied. Lmao.

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2.08 pm. Got up at 1.19pm. I slept well. Mischief didn't crow this morning or I didn't hear him sing.

I am going to make a velcro collar for him so his crowing is muffled. I want to keep my sweet boy!

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Today we remember our Anzac dead who fell in 2 world wars, and many since then.

I don't celebrate war. Partly because all wars are Hell and fought for the wealthy and the deranged. Many were lost on both sides and millions of innocent citizens were slaughtered on both sides.

The Nazi party killed 13 million innocents, including Jews, Romany, gays, the handicapped and veryily they would not have ceased killing until only a very select few were left alive as was obvious in their medical experiments on women and children with their 'breeding program" or eugenics.

At the end of that disgusting war, Commandant Von Braun was airlifted from Mittelbau-Dora, where my step-father suffered for 18 months as a slave labourer building the V1 and V2 rockets. NASA wanted Von Braun's expertise.

Meanwhile, in the summer of 1943 phosphorus bombs were dropped on a neighbourhood my mother lived in, in Hamburg and she had moved out a week before due to a prophetic dream she had had, thus saving her mother and her own life.

The bitumen roads became molten and bodies burnt and shrank to the size of 2 feet. People threw themselves into the river to try to save themselves. To this day, that area has never been built on again and is a park, in memorial.

All wars, and all atrocities done in the name of war are disgusting. Our young men and women still dying for our freedom are a tragic loss. They die for a thing that should have been banned since time began. No-one should have to kill another human being unless he is a war-mongering politician, or a serial killer or a pedophile. Only anti-social evil-doers should be shot.

Decent people should be free to live their lives in peace.

11 November 2013

Sick as a dog but mood is high. Interesting! Started myself on Prednisone as breathing not as good as my mood.

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LMAO I just noticed that my profile picture of myself and the cover picture of my grandson Ramon the Rare Rabbit has our eyes lined up almost perfectly. We really are seeing each other, eye to eye. Aye!

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I have danced myself into almost oblivion this week. My feet hurt, I have asthma and my stomach aches but I have had perhaps the most weird and wonderful week of my life.

So much fun, albeit with a bittersweet aftertaste at some of the insensitive emotional games people try to play with me, but I managed to express my opinion of gameplaying to the usual suspect and I was surprised that I was heard out and felt a tad validated. Pity he is not able to 'come to the party of consciousness' with me on more levels.

In the meantime, my heart goes on, and my mind is set on pursuing my quest for a meaningful, worthwhile, loving relationship (if only with myself alone..which is pretty good company, even in a crowd) and my soul, ever striving for perpetual motion and the Freedom of not ever being hemmed in by desolation, abuse or crass mundaneity ever again.

So I am still integrating my psyche but omg, it's such a delicious repast of ever diminishing circular thinking that leads to facing the new reality that I don't even know yet whom I might Becoming and loving the mystery, the excitement and perhaps some really lovely surprises and yummy things are still yet to manifest in my future. (Can you tell I just ate almost an entire kilo of triple mud chocolate ice cream?)

In the words of a former casual lover....Yum Fuck Yum. Squeals with crazy laughter and falls of my chair. Well, almost!

So after the diminishing circular thinking, of feeling lost, grieved, confused comes the expansive delights of inclusion to avoid the Seclusion...lmao. I dance to drive away the demons of despair, to fly in the face of Lady Death who has developed a bad case of Halitosis and is perched on my roof like the unladylike Dybbuk hag she can be, (what can I say? Lady and I are not young anymore and we been dancing and winking at each other a long time...so she has had to remove her usual disguise and I have had to remove mine.)

If she won't take my hand and lead me to Valhalla or The World to Come, then she can back off killing all the things I love around me...Enough already. (Sly chuckling from the roof...)

Well She and I know one thing for certain. If you are going to do something, do it right, do it til there is nothing more to be done. Then finish it with Dignity and Aplomb cos there is only one chance in each lifetime, to Live Fully, ecstatically, uniquely, with your own individual style and my grave robbers, have robbed me of enough of my essence, my heart, my mojo, so no more zombie shuffle, no more laying down and taking it you know where, this is MY LIFE and my turn to shimmer, shake and rattle the chains of my own life, and then from there to Consolidate into something that I can be proud of, that doesn't belong to my former family, or my children or anyone but myself...so I can look at my life and say “Wow tough first half but gees that second bit was Wild and totally of my own Creation.”

An old friend told me recently that they don't like my lifestyle anymore...my tattoo (with more to come!), my uncompromising individuality, my choosing to live life alone or on my own terms (which is not all my choice but foisted upon me by fate as not many men can love a woman like me).

It hurt a little but I have thought about it, and it means I am no longer the replica of a person that was never loved or respected or cared for when I walked in the cloak of traditional Judaism, nor the woman that was never loved or cared for when I walked the walk of death, which bemusedly still did not come but teased and tormented me with psycho killers to test my Zest for Life!

So now in the style of a famous line from Torah...."I have set before you Blessings and Curses...therefore Choose Life!" I have Chosen...The Chosen of the chosen and the cursed...the belittled, slandered, bedraggled, humiliated and distraught.....I have chosen MY LIFE.

My light still shines and it is still Hashem's tiny little spark of Life, and while I breathe I am still a Jew and still a wild little Viking Warrior (minus the military training, but I can kill with a look if I must lol) G-d made me who I am, long before I grew to be the Woman I am today, the disappointment, the failure, but it's ok, cos one day.....I will be at peace with the journey I rode upon and the choices I made will make me who I Will be and who I will never be. Do or Die, live, love and maybe prosper but Know Who I Am.

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Gawd, haven't been to bed yet, plumber just came in to fix my kitchen mixer. He was in and out in 5 minutes. I must sleep but now I'm wired for some reason. I don't know whether to pull a 24 hour sess and sleep early or have a nap?

I have an appointment with my shrink tomorrow so I must not get too tired or I will be a wreck for the appointment lmao. Oh well, just gonna ride out this vibe. I will sleep when I am ready I guess.

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Dawn. A promise of another beautiful day. I have watched an episode of Vikings always inspiring and am now watching Sons of Anarchy. Then when that is over I will sleep. Gonna let the Chicky Babes out to run amok in a minute. I think they have missed my presence in the garden as they have gone off the lay. Lovely girls 🙂

I went out to let the hens out and was amused by the presence of a female scrub turkey who has been stealing their food. I tried to chase her away but decided to let her share in the goodness...it's my form of charity giving back to the wilderness. As long as she doesn't build her mound in my backyard it will be fine lmao.

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At first I felt angry watching him being primped in a superficial way to look younger and his own handsome self again, as I mix with folk like these on my nights out, and they are often dangerously unmedicated and threatening, but I understand I am just one step up the social ladder from them so I have empathy and a genuine regard that I am the same as them only perhaps slightly more 'looked after' by society as I have a roof and a pension. (Both of these things can be stripped from me on a whim....)

So I know what it means to live free and to have pride in myself. I thought, oh they are making him pretty then he will be back on the streets, drunk, mad and dissolute, but the neat thing is (if this video is true...his personal makeover inspired him to reclaim his life, and get housing and join AA) so I thought Wow that's great, he is one step up the ladder of perceived respectability but it's really sad and disgusting that he only got this help with a suit, tie and nice haircut, and I know, more than most, that in a very short time he is vulnerable to sinking backwards into decline and being homeless again.

I wish for him, that he makes it, with proper counselling, proper support and that the Universe is kinder to him, because like any human being he deserves the basic comforts of food, shelter, clothing and LOVE.

11 November 2011

We had a lovely dinner at the Croatian Club for Margaret's birthday. Neo was so cute in his denim shorts and shirt and red tie!

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I'm loving Margaret's amazing permaculture garden. She has so many exquisite fruit trees including a Hazelnut tree. Bella and Schliva the Jack Russell are getting along fine but Schliva wonders why the Perfect Pomeranian won't play with her much lol. She's only 2 so Bella thinks she's a tad too rambunctious.

Jarrod Nielsen: Get off Facebook and start holidaying!!! LOL! Glad you're having fun :)

me: It is so picturesque here in the Blue Mountains. I could get to like living here and can see why it is so popular to live here. I am still a Brisbanian at heart (or is this just Habit talking?) it is so wonderful to finally be seeing another city and place so far south of the border Lol.

11 November 2009

Men are so stupid really. They hand you the very weapon they wish to be beaten with, then act surprised. I am extremely amused, bemused and infused (with rage and wonder!)

Life, Be In It, it's a long running soap opera or tragicomedy but oh, the intrigue. My Life Script needs a better Writer cos I have played this part before...yawn, Bored Now!

11 November 2008

is pleased that Bella survived the first night...hopefully she makes it through tonight as well.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons