Memories: 1 November 2025

1 November 2025

9:26am a good sleep. Grateful Woman Here! (Breathing backslide but that is my new normal after emotional upsets!) I soldiered on and made a lovely plied lilac wool instead. Not giving in to the insanity of our zeitgeist or the hollow ghosts it has created has some small triumphs.

It really is Mordor out there. Stay grounded in reality, People of Earth. Hold your line. Stay happy, weird, free! Choose your friends wisely…people who don’t reject you for being “different”. Who show up to your Halloweens and other parties. Who are proud and happy to have you in their lives.

When floating in a toxic waste dump not of your own making, remember you can wallow in their shit or swim away and take a long hot bath and let everything that does not treat you with respect, slough off. Life is too arduously long to suffer ignominious betrayals. It’s also very short in the slipstream of eternity. You can choose Love. You can choose to relentlessly release the sadism of others who make you feel unworthy.

It’s a spiritual war I have been battling for 60 and a half years. Othering me on Halloween. Shitful but nothing new under the sun. Just somehow, as I get older my ability to accept bullshit has worn a bit thin.

So this is a timely reminder: honour myself, and my abilities more. I am a loving wonderful person WORTHY of being loved and cared for without the sabotage of others. I can and will survive completely alone if I have to. I’ve done it many times before.

In the meantime, the weather bureaus are forecasting tornadoes today cos nothing says scaremongering and governmental atrophy like scaring the population with apocalyptic threats (likely manufactured by HAARP). So far, from what I have seen of it…it’s a lovely morning.

Stay safe out there, People of Earth. It’s getting weirder and weirder and I blame CERN for smashing the god particles, and all the nuclear testing for fragmenting dimensions too. All the poisons inflicted upon us too.

So what shall we do? Be happy! Blithe spirits in our Danse Macabre holding each other precious (if you have anyone noble and honouring enough to hold onto).

Life can and will get better…mind over matter. Choose life.

…

I finally got round to painting these tin earrings I made a while back. Lovely way to spend a stormy pensive afternoon 🙂 #titaniasrealm #T2tinearrings #creativity #Art #play

1 November 2024

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No broomstick tonight. Going by bus and woman power. Hmmmm. What mischief and mayhem can I co-create tonight?

1 November 2023

11:11 am the gods/angels/ elementals have my back. In the gods I trust…humans…not so much! But here we are again. On that hell loop without end. Haunted and hunted by Shades of the past that keep trying to toxify my present.

Well Motherfuckers…I have the Power. Always had it…always will have it…even when I know…ohhh dear goddess, I know…. I’ve been had. The triple goddess cosmic yoke will play itself out in three stages. Maiden Mother and Crone…and always from the House of David.

Hilarious! Why I oughta write a song about it. The Ballad of Love turned vituperous, the death waltz to eternity, the bit players and the vampyres of olde.

“We’ve come to suck your blood …feed off your life force that is so fucking legendary”.

Mama T rolls back on her haunches, extricating unholy attachments, as we speak. “Nah uh fool, I don’t think so…I’ve got this!”

Another shadow man feeding me on illusions while he gratifies his desires behind a laptop. Another Trickster Spirit sent to me by the gods to remind me of what and Who is real in my life. Whose heart is true. Loyal. Faithful. Open and embracing, with only pure intentions towards me. Passion, romance that is authentic and revealed in the harsh light of day and in the refracted glory of the moon.

Psy sighs. This was a test …real love is coming if I don’t let timewasters close me down for another ten years.

…

…

She stood alone: watching the light changing as the day stretched itself into different tones and hues.

Vortices of Space and Time converging in and out of ordinary reality.

Her heart, her carapace shellacked shell shocked but Kintsugied heart thrummed to a deadly slow beat: not much longer my love, it thrummed to her with a low base note of despair.

But a higher pitch outside of her hearing sent her a different note. Your heart will go on, your fierce determined spiritual heart will never die. Never. So shelve that despair and lift your head up and know.

I love you. Beyond mortal ken. Beyond time and space. Between dimensions in the weft and warp of matrices created just for you, Little One.

I have you! Hold you. Protect you.

Her wolf shakes out his fur. She rests her hand on his head, strokes his fur pensively. He howls in a silent streaming that slowly crescendoes to a cosmic banshee screaming. A long slow growl: another base note joins her.

Fear not, Little One. Your Time is Now. Don’t you comprehend? Your magick is happening. Let the weak, vicious and spiteful fall to their own doom. They’ve had their fun…now go out and have yours.

What is truly yours can never be stolen/strangled/raped out of you!

You know that. You are the living embodied proof of that. So let them play like inclement evil vermin.

You’ve got this.

…

…

I just had my debrief with my handsome wise soul brother…my psychiatrist. I told him how I had started an internet “romance” whilst simultaneously fending off Death in the form of Covid 19 BA2.6 (yup I finally gained my BA from the university of both Life and Death!) Thanks for the cosmic arsekick, oh Holy One.

Brian smirked. “Of course you did Tanya, did you not always say that facing Death, makes everyone want to fuck?!” I nodded sagely. Death and I have had our weird erotic unfurlings since way back.

I told him about the preternatural rage I had for two days that came like a firestorm out of hell but blew Covid out of my meridians. I told him how on day 8, that alien bio engineered entity had scanned all my organs like an invisible invidious CAT scan and when it scanned my heart (practically the only organ that is not diseased or been repaired or removed!) how I yelled at the parasitic alien energy that it can just fuck off my heart as well.

My brain and heart are the only precious pristine organs I have left. (Thinking about it, I should donate both those tender organs to science or a museum somewhere after I eventually die). Like Robert The Bruce’s heart being worn by Black Douglas until he was cut down in that melée in Granada, Spain.

Brian nodded. “Your heart/brain coherences are incredibly powerful and healthy, in spite of everything you endured in this life!”

I told him how my mind constantly craves to die, even after decades of therapy, but I witnessed my body fight for her survival with the most astonishingly humbling terrifying power, such as I have never witnessed before.

So unless I keep getting re-infected with Covid, I know I will not be dying any time soon, and I may even reenervate my full blossoming sexuality when/if the right man comes along.

I will have my fully restored power as a woman, as a spirit again 🙂.

Brian said I keep drawing them in and when they get too passionate, I push them away. I said “No…I do enjoy playing with them when I am out dancing, but I don’t want them sexually. I need a good kind stable strong decent man. Not those Lost Boys or disappointing Wastrels. Not one has been serious in over 13 years!

Instead I have my beautiful safe love story with my beautiful friend in Alter Egos because he and I are friends and we protect each other. I have other men in my life who treat me with genuine care and authenticity and remain platonic, mainly because they are either gay/asexual or married, therefore unavailable and will never rock my world by a quick frottering that leaves an aching emptiness and dissolution for decades.

If I am going to take myself down from the shelf of sexual atrophy, dust myself off, don my corset, shake my voluminous arse both horizontally and vertically…for the love of all the gods…this time …this time, it better be meaningful/heartfelt/orgasmic/sensational and worth it!

Or why bother?! Yeah? Yeah! From Thanatos to Eros in minus 5 seconds at 180 kms per hour we might even create a new paradigm together. Leave the other awful past in the dust. Blow out the cobwebs! Elevate the saggage in the baggage….fucking fly!

Well damn, that’s a nice fantasy. But I live in my own realistic world. When I told Brian the new flame’s incendiary surname, even his mouth dropped in horror. He said, more to soothe me…his longtime mental patient…

”Let’s see how this plays out! Hopefully it’s not the worst case scenario. Maybe it’s someone wise and strong.”

Wise and strong. Bejaysus. SURPRISE!

…

Lying in bed, nurturing my heart I hear “360”. It was a tinny, almost metallic sounding tone. But distinctly male. I smile to myself. Full circle.

I ask myself why I let that malevolent demon David Davidson sabotage me yet again? Why I let my own subconscious allow that one to sabotage me? He went on to remarry and have three more beautiful children. Like what does he even want? After all these years. Dead 7 years and he’s still jerking my chain. Weird shit.

“Like cures like” he mutters into my ear. I flap him away from me. “Go away, you homeopath psychopath…You were never my true love or even a true friend so go to hell, you have no say over whom I have in my life now…or ever. You’ve done your best handiwork, leave me alone…after all even in life that is what you specialised in!”

But here’s the humorous thought: life is like a box of chocolates…it could be a sword you impale yourself on….or a Kit Kat flavoured like mayonnaise.

Either way the result is the same.

Love you all.

…

1 November 2022

10:59 am. I just woke up! After finally falling asleep at 6:17 am. I was so enervated all night. Where is this energy coming from? Menopause? The gods? Delighting in all the love from the neighbourhood visiting for Halloween? A shift in the cosmos? Even Beauregard was a tad sleepless last night. He was excited too.

Just under 5 hours sleep! Gahhh! It’s gonna be a wild ride through my imagination today. Or there will be spiritual messengers flinging tributes at me thick and fast. Or maybe…I will just fall asleep again. 🙂

It’s raining. It started raining during the night. It’s much cooler as yesterday the humidity was building. My garden looks refreshed and happy. Everything is singing in perfect harmonic resonance.

Love to you all! Good morning! Boker Tov!

….

3:44 am. I haven’t slept. Not cool. I might as well get up and eat something. Sleep eludes me. I have a churning excitement. As though all my dreams are about to come true, all at once. Absurdist. But nevertheless…stimulating to my brain.

I have a sense of destiny. Like I have found my place and my peace. Hmmm. What fresh delusion is this? No idea so might as well roll with it. :-)

….

1:11 am. I really need to sleep now. I had a lovely day, in spite of the humidity dressed as a witch with my underbust corset, and black long sleeved blouse and black velvet maxi skirt.

I loved seeing all the children in their costumes too. I am grateful for their parents who shared in the magick too. Life is good.

1 November 2021

I just had a lovely walk along the streets to the Pine Mountain Road entrance to Whites Hill Reserve. Bobo, Charley and I meandered all the way through the forest to the back of my house. It was a longer walk than I usually have, so halfway through my thighs started aching like I just got off a horse.

I am not at all an athletic exercise person so even walking longer distances causes me quite considerable pain.

My lungs are also struggling after I gave myself an industrial injury by inhaling all that ceramic/glass dust like the fucked up goober artiste I truly am. So there were quite a few puffs of Ventolin and the long slow walk together to force my recalcitrant fat hobbit body to heal itself!

I listened to my own podcast as something to do to pass the time while we walked, also curious why 28 other souls had bothered to listen to it.

So that was kinda interesting. It’s a pity I can’t know who these listeners are or how they were affected by my true stories of ghostly encounters.

I wanted it to be a spiritual circle with shared stories but somehow I have had no one contact me. Or perhaps they have but Spotify or Anchor have not passed on their messages?

All good in da ‘hood.

I am here in this 3D reality and if spirits or humans want to communicate with me…they find a way.

Although I had a spammer on Instagram try that shit the other day so I had to block them. It’s not easy to contact me if you are a creep or a spammer or bot or other kind of malevolent cur.

The funny thing was that as soon as I typed that I suspect they are a scammer they replied “Yes. Where are you?” Like they admitted it then carried on demanding my ASL. So probably not even a human entity.

Anyway, me and my lungs, squidgy thighs and weird intellect had a lovely day today (and yesterday!)

The veil is thin and I am feeling soul nourished and blessed. So there is that!

…

I feel the need to share this again. Not sure why. Wonder how that boy Shammai Jacob Davidson is doing now? And no, I won’t contact him. The entire synchronous episode was too peculiar.

Then only three and a half years later the entire globe got slammed with the Covid Epoch. The dead were literally smashing on my door, possibly to warn me? Threaten me? Demand forgiveness, or my attention?

Well, let his gods deal with his father. He was so perverted and evil I very much doubt it was his Jewish god he paid lip service to like the befouled satyr he truly was.

And I know…I too have ceded chunks of my soul with my endless rage/grief/trauma I acquired from that man and the few lovers that followed him. Yuck!

I deserved a true loyal decent partner. Not that egoic sadistic shitshow.

It’s hard to reconcile that I am destined to finish out my life alone in an actual zombie apocalypse, for the love of all the gods!

But yesterday I was gifted sweet delights of little Halloween children intrepidly climbing my scary witchy stairs to receive blessings and tribute on the holy night of the new year Samhain.

I can quit crying about not having a life partner or grandchildren as I have something far more authentic…a deep deep spiritual love gifted by the gods. My bird and dog and three goldfish…true friends…and two daughters out there somewhere…one of whom randomly lands in my orbit occasionally :-)

1 November 2020

More and more I am finding profound Joy in walking my walk with my unique rather complex blend of spirituality. Standing in my own truth and integrity even when for decades I was fighting mostly alone, has gifted me a measure of both self esteem and peace.

Sometimes I had to go batshit Berserker to survive (without actually killing anyone, just saying!) but even then the gods blessed me with enough courage and strength to get me and my two children to safety. 8 moves in 8 years. It was harrowing.

But now I am 55 (and a half) and life is just so beautiful and magickal. There are days when I am still steeped in darkness. (Old demons from my family of origin or vicious exes that still haunt me on occasion).

Also my own fears and doubts that subsume me, particularly when my health is bad - it’s like someone putting a big foot on my head or chest and trying to drown me when I am barely treading water!

But...there have always been the most spectacular Earthangels who Saw me in my struggles and lifted me up by the hair and breathed new life or hope or gifted me with their generousity so that I could continue on my journey to Becoming: whole and holy even in my festering middle-aged body and with my splintering wit and flagging health which has always been a battle of Will.

Yet today! Here I am. In Hebrew “Hineini”. I am so blessed and so grateful and so happy for the love the Multiverses bestowed on me. No matter how great or small... (some of my greatest loves were non-human!)

Life! Be in it. Let it guide you through troubled waters and stolid stubborn droughts. Through hail storms and sunshine. Through all the good and the bad: hold your head up high. Keep your eye on the sky. Keep your bare feet on the earth and let it resonate through your body, mind and spirit and be free to Be in all paradigms.

The ones who truly See you and Love you and honour you…will Find you.

Blessèd Be! :-)

1 November 2019

Even as a child and a young woman I instinctively gravitated to the wisdom and often nurturing, of older wiser women. It used to drive my mother nuts that I sought out knowledge from other wise women. I was actually craving support, validation and the unconditional guiding love I was not getting at home.

I am grateful for all my “mothers” who stepped into the role and affirmed both my existence and my femininity.

See below posting:

The truth is, women become more rebellious, more radical, less conservative with age. We become more INVISIBLE as well. Men no longer see us as resources to exploit. Through this wisdom, women start seeing the world for what it really is. Older women are vital to women's liberation, and younger women need to sit down and listen. Lest history keep repeating. If only, right....

But young women keep making the same exact mistakes, generation after generation, because women's communities don't exist and we are cut off from one another. If older women were able to influence younger women instead of patriarchy getting a hold of them, things would be so different in the world today.

Firstly, young women would stop catering to the male gaze and obsessing about getting male validation. Young women wouldn't have their sexuality and identity colonized because they would value relationships with women over men, look up to women instead of men as authority, and strive to make one another proud, rather than forever desperate for male approval and visibility.

Wouldn't that be great if we wanted pride in one another? Wouldn't that be great if we trusted each other, saw strength and opportunities in one another, rather than in men? The only way to obtain this is by connecting with and valuing older women.

Young women: Listen. To. Old. Women. They are the reason the movement continues. You should thank them.~

~Kaitlin Robertson

…

It started off slow with little sun showers... but now we have a good steady rainnn. Yes!!!! At last!

1 November 2017

Home from QE2. Was there for 4 hours. I was treated well and taken seriously. Given a script for 10 Endone tablets (which the registrar said may not help much).

He wrote a letter for my gp and dentist that I need to see a maxillo-facial specialist as tmj joint is damaged. (Common problem for c-ptsd patients).

I fear bone cancer in the joint but it may also be a septic arthritis flare up as my knee and elbow hurts also. I have a fever also.

I came home and took 1 Endone with high hopes that I would be pain free for 4 hours. But alas no. So feeling really fragile and scared but it was only 1 tablet so might need to take a few to circulate the bloodstream (4 hourly that is). He told me to take panadol osteo 3 times a day as well as the Endone four hourly.

I need to see my gp for a script for more Endone but may have to ask her to let me pay on Tuesday as I don’t have enough money left for upfront payment (I get refunded on Medicare) so may have to see a bulk billing doctor tomorrow and show them the letter so they don’t think I am doctor shopping for heavy drugs lol.

Anyway, glad to be home again as I was not given any pain relief at the hospital so had to breathe through it and rock my body. I am really disappointed the one Endone has not taken the edge off.

This is gonna be hellish, like last summer. At least I now know it is a septic arthritis flare up and not my actual teeth as the Private “emergency voucher” dentist has ripped out two already, that did not need removing!

I hope I don’t have to wait too many months to see maxillo-facial specialist.

I pray it is not bone cancer in the tmj joint. I will have to wait and see.

The pain has been gruelling since Saturday (5 days). It comes in waves like labour pain, only in the face.

But now I know what is causing it and it’s not somatising etc I feel glad I am not being treated as if it is imaginary like my gp treats me.

She will look sheepish when she sees the letter stating I need Endone but that it may still not be effective. Not sure what else will take away the pain though.

I wish I could access cannabis oil. It is at least, natural. Endone is highly addictive and nasty stuff. Anyway, I will keep fighting for my life as I have done since infancy.

I have been eating like a wharfie (huge appetite) which is unusual, considering how much agony I have been in. I usually lose my appetite when I am so sick. Amazing!

Jarrod looked after my animals for me which was awesome as I feared I might be kept in overnight.

Bobo pined at the front gate the whole time I was at the hospital. He sensed I was not travelling too well, healthwise.

Julie Goddard: endone and panadole work well together , you could try that next dose .. 2 panadol and 1 endone .. good luck xx

…

In a lot of pain. Considering going to ED. I took more Panamax. Meant to be stronger but doesn’t do much. Also very little sleep the past few days.

I did go out to Amanda’s coffee shop to drop off some books she asked if I would give for a book club of sorts. I sat and had a coffee and read the paper (depressing as usual) but the pain got too much so came home.

Lying on the couch, watching a movie “7 pounds” but not taking too much in. Annoying. Fml!

…

6.07 am. Bad night. Not much sleep. Grrr. Pain bad even with stronger Panamax. I spent most of night praying for healing or doing a life review, trying to evaluate patterns in my life and how it is improving. Ie giving myself reasons to hang on lol.

Ten years since I had major surgery (2 days ago). Wow. Then 2008 was a watershed year: Buck the evil schmuck died, Gila exposed herself, I was given Mum’s chattels by the Public Trustee, we gathered everything from her haunted house while she bilocated so we were all fairly exhausted and traumatised by my mother’s still living ghost while she languished in a zombie state in the high care facility.

I resolved that quickly by visiting her and telling her that her precious things were safe with me and I would keep them for her “return home”. She was comforted and stopped the bilocating.

In 2009, my relationship with Courtenay started to devolve but I persevered even after I had a weird panic attack at Christmas and he basically didn’t care much and then met up with his ex and her husband on Boxing Day while I languished alone, still very weak.

Then in January 2010, my cat Zulu who had been gone for 4 years came back! My mother died that March, then the will dispute ensued then Courtenay left me in September. It took me a while to realise he had left the relationship. 2 months.

I had to ring him for confirmation. He just drifted off like a low flung spidery web in a breeze. His friends made him. Not man enough to stand by me. Weak. But things have a way of sorting themselves out. In time I got over it.

I spent 2011 grieving and fighting the will dispute. A hard year but I got back up on my feet towards the end of that year and decided to fully engage with life. I started dancing at the casino and Irish Murphies. I met new people and had some pretty wild (also confronting!) experiences.

2012. Dancing. In September I finally got my small inheritance but I was so mentally drained and tormented from 2 and a half years of fighting more bastardry than you can poke a stick at, that the money made little difference to my life. But I fixed my teeth and bought a car (chariot of freedom). My kids demanded money and like a fool, I gave in to them. Ah well, no regrets.

2013/4 dancing. Sexually assaulted at pub. No one cared to protect or defend me. Breakdown.

2015. I fell in love. Ended a longtime friendship. Became suicidal over royal commission and my advocacy online where I was cyber bullied and accused of defamation then bullied and attacked by a female stalker at casino then I acted on my suicidal ideation.

Survived that only to buy a puppy, fall in love with it and have it torn from me, then Jarrod and I went and got Beauregard and then in 2016 I was busy with a puppy that was quite feral but now is a lovely sweet dog.

2016. First 3 months of grieving and healing still. Last 3 months, agonising tooth and jaw pain. I lost all that summer in pain. Also being haunted in June by an ex lover who banged on my door. A revelation and a turning point.

Proof that my love poured into evil schmucks was not wasted. It came back to bid me an everlasting goodbye. I had just weaned off my psych meds… 2016….The year I chose Life free of pharmaceutical crutches and learned to crawl, from the edge of the abyss.

2017 was another turbulent year. Fighting tooth pain until February. Then my father’s death in March. Then more friendships ending. This time a 29 year one. Awful!

I cut ties to my elder daughter. I won’t accept any more abuse/lies/treachery.

Now back with pain in my teeth/jaw. 2 months left of this year. I can’t bear another Summer in agony but it looks like I might have to.

Grateful for the love and support I receive daily from my friend Jarrod who has always been there for me. Almost 26 years of staunch friendship and that involved him dealing with the excessive emotional abuse of both my mother and former husband. How did we do it?! Next year? In Jerusalem/Valhalla/Byron?

Like a child I keep myself alive by fantasising about better times and better places and being loved and supported and blossoming into my full potential. But too often stymied by pain and weird circumstances beyond my control.

I never completely fell out of love with the last love interest. The love that was spurned and unrequited and blighted still burns. It has nourished me with delusional confusion but a fusion, holding me to this earth in a quest for recognition and hopeful reconnection.

It is beautiful, my heart and its yearnings. It is my superpower. A fierce and misunderstood essence. Crazy but stoic.

I had to fall in love with myself too. To remember who I am as each time Life knocked me down but I got up again, sometimes flying high like an eagle, other times plummeting in a death swirl like a clay pigeon.

Well, almost done. My goose is almost cooked even if I am half-baked and naked and sacred in Sacred Space.

Love. Is. The. Law. Of the multiverses. Never forget!

…

1 November 2016

I buried Ruby in the back vegetable patch. Near the abandoned turkey mound. I covered her grave with 3 bricks so that Bobo could not dig her up. Then I went back to bed to rest.

A few hours later, I was stunned to observe a turkey busily kicking dirt over the top of Ruby's grave. He had built another mound. Right on top of her.

This is highly unusual, as the mound has been abandoned and kicked over. I had even moved composted dirt from it and spread it back on the garden beds. But this is another younger turkey. Two mounds in one season? Highly unusual. It sort of has me freaked out.

Bobo spent the afternoon chasing the turkey all over the house and up into the trees. So hopefully, turkey buzzard will give up on his quest to have a nursery for his babies here. Too dangerous for the chicks anyway.

…

I need to buy a new laptop. Re-evaluate my life choices. Move into a new paradigm. Feeling positive after yesterday's messages from the universe.

Also sad that Ruby died. Love and loss. Life and death. Swings and roundabouts at Sacred Space.

I think (I hope, I pray) that I am being prepared for a different kind of life. Not sure what that might be yet.

I feel vaguely curious and Interested to see what next year holds for me. I know one thing for certain. It is both terrifying/mortifying/ and hilarious. The angels have my back. Leaving Las Vegas popped into my head. My swan song. Like Hallelujah was.

Every time I let it go and try to walk away my angels bring my real loves back to me. In a constant circle of faith (trust? Hard to trust after the constant games and bullshit). Love is eternal. Love is my Superpower. Love is my affliction/addiction/delusion/. But oh! What fun!

…

Ruby died during the night. Poor wee chook.

…

Jarrod changed my cover photo while I was busy walking into spiderwebs. Lol! Can't leave my iPhone out with him. The brat!

1 November 2015

Last night, on arrival outside the lift in the casino car park, 2 younger men approached me. One asked my name. "Tanya, but that is a Russian name!"

Then he spoke some phrases to me in Russian. I smiled. I said "I can't answer to that, as I don't speak Russian, as my people were Polish, so all I can say to you is Gendobre (Good morning)".

He was charmed. We chatted in the lift. I said my people were Polish but my mother was german and so you see what a delicious little mixed up ball of witchiness you have here! He chuckled and said "Yes the universe made you extra special for sure". I quipped, "I was not born but created, like all good witches!"

When we stepped out of the lift I asked them if they were gambling or dancing. Gambling! So I blessed them with a big win for the night. "But remember to watch out for Baba Yaga as she walks tonight".

The sweet talkative one half-sprinting to the tables stepped back over to me and blessed me in return with a sweet kiss on the cheek. I was delighted. I said "You honour me!"

(Russians get very sentimental around me. I have the face of a Slav slapped on top of my Hobbit Bauern (peasant!) body. The soul of a Jew and a witch and a Viking Warrior! Perfection in my conflated confabulation. Except it is not really confabulation if it is true, Darlings!

At the end of the night, hanging outside with George, another young Russian man spotted me and greeted us in Russian. I said "What is this? Wog night? You are the 3rd Russian I have met tonight!" He said " I know, we are everywhere tonight". Another cutie.

Some handsome younger lunatic, with a container full of butts, tried to woo me. "I speak 7 languages. Hungarian is my Native Tongue. I also speak Latin, Greek, German, Dutch, English".

I had caught the mad glint in his eye (he had to be mad as he clearly fancied me and I am a Madman-Magnet). So to be kind and humour him a little, I said "Speak to me in German".

He answered "Who is your Vater?" He only spoke Vater in German. So I answered "Meine Vater ist ein grosse affe". My father is a fat ape. Well, in truth he is probably not fat right now but he sure is an ape. A horrible violent man I am estranged from. For good reason.

Anyway the lunatic dreamboat could not speak German but he understood Grosse and declared he has a cousin in Paris doing a PhD in French linguistics with that name. She is Hungarian but refuses to live there. (probably true but I became aware of a serious delusion taking place when he grasped my finger and basically wouldn't let go.)

“That's a powerful grip you have on my finger there" quoth I, before reclaiming my fickle finger of fate. He told me he normally lives in Byron Bay.

"Oh" said I, the almost lamb to the slaughter, "I love Byron Bay!" He said "Will you drive me there?" I considered this briefly, several nano-seconds passed by, before I remembered where I had seen his face.

Sleeping rough outside the ANZ bank on Lawson St. I actually had given him some money while he slept. Yes. Beautiful face, beautiful mind, unmedicated schizophrenic. Damn!

George's tough nuggetty friend saw him. "Fuck off, ya cunt". The handsome Hungarian ran like a rabbit. I felt bad for him. Truly I did.

I said to the friend, "Now you must be nice to the insane, for there but for the grace of God go you!" George just smiled and strummed his guitar. The mate said "Screw that cunt, he is an idiot".

I said "Nah, nothing that a shot of clozapine won't fix. Don't piss him off though. He is unmedicated. The type that will carry a delusion about you and kill you one day. You know Forensic patient/serial killer". Tough guy suddenly didn't feel quite so tough.

But who am I, the witch of Whites Hill and unpaid lay psych nurse and Angel of mercy yet, interminably incapable of attracting a partner that is you know, a stayer, and relatively sane, to judge! Hahaha! Fell off my broomstick!

Julie Goddard: hahahaha Love your stories …

Me: All true too! X. My life is stranger than fiction. Another gift from being the daughter and granddaughter of witches! Never a dull moment!

JG: lol better than a boring life

Me: There have been many times that I have prayed for a boring life. But not too boring! I would get bored! Lmao! Aiming for serene, peaceful and wise!

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Note to self: I must buy a trilby and a big black lace parasol for next time I dress as myself. The Witch of Whites Hill. "Ahem Holland Park, Darling, Holland Park". Shut up Patsy! ;-)

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3.14 am. Home safe. In my bath. The casino cancelled the music in favour of the football. So I hung with George for a while then stumbled on my sore tootsies to MacDonalds hoping to get a coffee frappé but settled for a chocolate thickshake instead.

They don't do frappés at that Maccas. What the??!!! Any hoo all good! I had a lovely time living La Vida Loca and La Sirene had my back.

I had fun dancing with my favourite women friends, as I always do! Glad to be home safe from the ghouls and ghosts and zombies and other exotic stuff!

Casino security told me it's not a Halloween party and they don't encourage dressing up. But they let me in. Without my hat! Who runs that place, Mormons??? I got upstairs and plenty of other people in costume were there and joined in with me. No need to be so fricking uptight!!!

The worst horrors that exist in that joint are some of the obnoxious staff and a few actual spooks on the upper floors. Lmao! And a few of my creepy stalkers, but they do that every weekend. Enough to give me the "Heebie Jeebies". Shake it off! Shake, Rattle and roll, babies. I need me some chicken feet for next Halloween.

1 November 2014

I had a wonderful Halloween at the Casino and at Irish Murphy's. I danced with my beautiful girlfriends, and one guy friend. We had a blast. Crystal surprised me by arriving at Irish Murphys too :-).

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5.03am. Just let the chooks out and discovered Mrs BB (bastard buzzard) scrubber turkey creature laying her eggs in Bb's mound while he lovingly watched her.

True Love, Man. He has worked his tail off to get that mound large enough for his mate's approval. He looked so proud!

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Laila Tov/Boker tov! I am exhausted and my feet are spasming like crazy. My birds (domestic and wild) are doing their thing.

Time for Penny and De Mama to sleep :-)

1 November 2013

I had a great night at Irish Murphies Halloween Party. Met up with some Pub Pals and made a new one.

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1 November 2012

1 November 2011

Gail was lovely and picked me up and drove me to the chemist for my meds and then to Post office to post Margaret Bella's toy so Shliva can get used to Bella's scent.

Then she took me to Aldi and I did a massive shop (ahem, bought too many marzipan and lollies again...oy! One day I will grow up I promise!) Then I bought some cheap wine as I felt like a tipple tonight. A nice day!

Looking forward to going to Byron Bay with everyone in a mini-van for Crystal's 26th birthday this Saturday. Woohoo!

1 November 2010

I slept a lot the past two days. I think the Tick Toxins Took Their Toll. LOL. Or my Depression is getting worse. Schmeh! Just keep going as per usual!

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons