Masks

Who are any of us really? What lies deep inside,burried in the secret places of our hearts? Do we even know? What dreams, hopes, fears and shame lay there hidden from even ourselves.When asked who are you? How do you answer? Is it a name, a role or an occupation that comes to mind? Is that all I really am? Am I just Barry the retail assistant and loving son? Well yes I am that. But I am much more too. What lies beneath these small names we use to describe ourselves. What is it that makes us truly us, truly unique and authentic. In part I believe its the masks we have chosen to wear, and even more so what is hidden behind them.

We all wear masks, we need to. They help us to parent, work, succeed, they keep us safe from the terrible fear that those hidden parts of us will not be accepted. That we will be hurt once again. Its a lesson we all learn as children. Behave, be good, don't do this or that, we learn that out true self is something to be locked away.
Some of us clutch to these mask so tightly, never taking them off, we lose who we truly are behind them. In the end we all become that which we pretend to be. Sarcastic and funny to hide the saddnes? Or prehaps angry and utterly single minded so simple dont have to think ot feel. We all choose something to be at somepoint to hide away. while this may not seem advantageous it is. It protects us, helps us control, to manipulate the world around us to our desires and shield us from the pain of our unrealised expectations.

But what if you lose yourself in a dark mask, a mask of anger, of vengeance or dishonestly. These base selfish masks served a purpose once when no other way seem possible. They are powerful, effective, and always destroy our realionships with ourselves and others. It can be an extremely hard task to drop a mask you've worn for so, so long especially if you no longer know what lies behind it. To open yourself up to the possibilities of being happy, of being hurt. The fear of vulnerability halts our progress, we must master the fear in order to recover our true self's.

I'm certainly not saying bare all to the world, and never wear a mask again. No, that would be terribly naive. I speak of a journey of self discovery, of self love, of knowing the person behind these masks and when the time is safe to be able to take them off. To show yourself to another, completely without fear of rejection, because we love ourselves so completely.

So how the we even begin? It sounds beautifully simple and terribly romantic doesn't it? At least I think it does. "Just drop the mask it's simple!" Yes I've heard that said. It's maddening. Simple! Simple it may be, but easy it certainly is not. I have found that the Simpler a thing is, the more I will complicate it! It's part of who I am. But these things I have learned on my journey. Be gentle, but never lie to yourself. Have patience the truth is revealed with time. And finally and more importantly no matter who you find behind these masks, love them completely. Self compassion is the greatest gift I ever gave myself.

Whoever reads this, you arw worthy of love! Your own and others don't abandon yourselves. Start to loving yourself today, we may not have a tomorrow.