Marriage Is Like Climbing a Mountain

The metaphor of a map in marriage is showing a shared destination to strive for together.

The metaphor of a flashlight is prayer and patience, illuminating even the darkest moments.

The metaphor of a compass is communication, guiding the way forward.

Without these three, everything will be in vain.

If we climb a mountain and reach the summit, what do we see? Surely, all the beauty and grandeur unfold before our eyes. Lush green forests, a vast sea of white clouds, and distant mountain ranges—some standing as tall or even taller, emerging from behind the mist. And beyond, the deep blue ocean reveals itself, visible only to those who make it to the top. The summit is a place of beauty, majesty, and pride—something that cannot be bought with anything.

Let us reflect on the journey from the very beginning of the climb to the summit. The exhaustion felt along the way, the sweat left behind, the dusty footprints bearing witness to the effort it takes to reach the peak. When fatigue weighs heavily and weariness strikes, resting along the trail becomes the only option. In that moment, feel the gentle breeze, quench your thirst with a sip of water—how beautiful the world is. And once the exhaustion fades, we press on. A few hours later, we finally arrive at the long-awaited summit.

Sometimes, we become impatient to climb right away. But never attempt to scale a mountain without proper preparation. Careful preparation makes the journey feel lighter compared to those who embark recklessly. Without it, one does not gain beauty but instead faces greater risks—danger, or even loss of life. Behind its breathtaking scenery, the mountain presents steep cliffs, gaping ravines, thorn-filled rocky paths, and unforgiving weather that can batter the body. Without readiness, it is perilous. That is why, before climbing a mountain, one must be well-prepared—not only with material provisions to reach the top but also with mental resilience and knowledge.

Walking the path of marriage is like climbing a mountain.

It is beautiful to look at, yet steep and challenging to traverse. Reaching the summit is no easy feat. Along the way, there are countless obstacles—sometimes we are pricked by thorns, sometimes we stumble on rocks, and at times, we even lose our way. However, the difficulty of the climb depends on the strength of our intentions and the resilience of our minds.

Think back to the moment before the climb begins. Everything appears enchanting—the neatly arranged green grass, the vibrant flowers, the gentle breeze, the soothing sound of cascading waterfalls, the towering mountains, and the vast blue ocean. It all seems mesmerizing.

Yet, danger often lurks when we are too captivated by nature’s beauty. Sharp stones hidden in the grass can wound our feet or cause us to slip. Among the colorful, fragrant flowers, there may be hidden thorns or even a snake waiting to strike at the careless.

A backpack, meant to carry essential supplies for the climb, can eventually feel like an unbearable burden as the journey grows tougher. Carrying a backpack on the climb of marriage is no easy task. Inside one, there must be the responsibilities of a husband, and in the other, the duties of a wife. Often, the journey of marriage is met with exhaustion, making it difficult to move forward.

Then, the compass, initially brought to guide the way and prevent getting lost, may fail to function mid-climb. The flashlight and map, essential tools for the ascent, might also become useless just when the climb feels most exhausting and draining. Worse still, if we lack the knowledge to use them, we are left wandering without direction.

Many only want to enjoy the easy parts.

It is undeniable that today, many climbers only want to enjoy the ease of "climbing" without going through the struggle first. They overlook the risks that inevitably come with the journey. Even worse, they embark on the climb without proper knowledge or preparation. They are not truly climbing in the full sense but merely indulging in the beauty of the mountains on the surface.

If one only enjoys beauty at face value, reaching the summit is out of the question. The same applies to marriage. Do not expect a marriage to last and be filled with peace, love, and mercy if one only enjoys its surface. Many challenges will arise, both visible and hidden. Promises made before marriage may remain unfulfilled afterward. Plans and dreams once envisioned together may crumble after the wedding.

The "marriage map," once hoped to guide the way to the summit, may suddenly blur. Unexpected dangers arise—an ex reappearing, financial struggles, or unforeseen issues beyond our prior understanding.

The compass, which should guide the way and prevent getting lost, suddenly spins aimlessly. Its needle malfunctions. A partner who once seemed sweet and agreeable before the climb may unexpectedly turn rebellious, rejecting all advice and guidance. The marriage then becomes like railway tracks—running parallel but never meeting.

Uniting Two Souls

Two souls, two temperaments, and two distinct personalities must be united in this journey. Learning to set aside ego, sharing joy, helping each other through hardships, and providing strength in moments of weakness are essential. These challenges become manageable if the "climbing tools"—the compass, map, and flashlight—are used to their fullest potential. A rope binds them together, symbolizing an unbreakable connection that influences both partners while also establishing new boundaries compared to life before marriage.

When two people climb a mountain together, they must undergo prior training to handle difficulties, maintain effective communication, develop the endurance to walk and persevere, and adjust to each other's pace to stay together. Without preparation and teamwork, one will inevitably become a burden to the other.

A map guides us in the right direction, just as a marriage built on the Quran and Hadith leads to a righteous path. Temptations exist for both men and women, regardless of their marital status. And let’s not forget—when we choose to marry as part of fulfilling divine guidance, Satan and his followers inevitably change their tactics.

If before marriage, temptations were only at level 2, after marriage, the enemy of Allah may escalate them to levels 4, 5, 6, or even 7! As a cursed being, Satan knows human weaknesses all too well. The more blessings and wealth we receive in life, the easier it becomes for Satan to lead us astray from the sacred purpose of marriage.

Marriage is a vow made before Allah SWT

When we perform the ijab qabul, we are, in essence, making a solemn vow before Allah SWT. And as with any vow, we will be held accountable for it in the Hereafter. Just like climbing a mountain requires sufficient provisions, so does marriage. Without the right knowledge and preparation, mistakes in marriage become inevitable—differences in opinion, miscommunication, marital boredom, and other challenges will continuously test us.

However, exhaustion and difficulties in marriage can easily fade when both partners take a moment to pause, communicate, and regain their strength—just like climbers who rest, build a fire, brew coffee, and admire the beauty of the stars above. Those countless stars seem to whisper, You are the luckiest climbers, for you have found each other and been given the chance to reach the same summit—together.

Without readiness or careful preparation for these trials, the harmony of a marriage can be disrupted, leading to turbulence that shakes its very foundation. And the worst possible outcome—a failed marriage—is something we strive to avoid at all costs.

Preparations

These preparations include maturity in thought, financial planning, intellectual readiness, physical endurance, and many other aspects. Yes, preparation is essential for navigating the complexities of marriage.

At times, we are mesmerized by the beauty of marriage, seeing only its charm and appeal. Sometimes, we rush toward it without careful thought. Countless marriages have failed due to a lack of preparedness. It is not wealth or mere enthusiasm that sustains a marriage, but also a heart filled with taqwa. "Wa tazawwaduu fa inna khoiro zaadit taqwa." The best provision is taqwa—a heart adorned with faith, sincerity, knowledge, and patience.

A heart nurtured with these qualities will lead to a beautiful destination: a sakinah, mawaddah, and warahmah family. There is nothing more rewarding than climbing together on His path, until finally reuniting in His paradise. Marriage is, after all, a lifelong journey of worship alongside our partner. Only those with firm conviction, strong mentality, and readiness to face trials will reach the magnificent summit.

Wallahu a’lam bishshawab.