Love Is Part XlV

Daughters of Eve

By 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝐼𝓈 𝒮𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 🌹Published about a year ago • Updated about a year ago • 21 min read

🎶Daughter Of The Sun- Naomi Sharon🎶

“ In the midst of realizing your purpose you’ll find yourself re-evaluating what’s worth it. Life is a journey filled with a plethora of lessons and blessings. Your existence alone is a divine inception. I pray that you begin to rediscover the parts of yourself you once fell in love with as you continue to evolve and expand. The love, truth, passion, forgiveness you’re seeking will all be found from within.”
- Shae.

“God has a paradoxical way of showing us that the more we gain, the less we have. The more we learn, the less we really know. The more we believe, the harder we fall. Yet somehow there’s beauty in the chaos. Somehow we are the beauty that stands in between.”
-Lai.

THE QUEEN MOTHER

Allah,

Forgive me. For I was born of sin and I have worked hard to embrace and rediscover my purity. My innocence does not dissipate when I fall victim to the temptations of my flesh as I am still a student of life. You just didn’t tell me that Divine University would be this challenging. I thank you for the redirection when I lack discipline and obedience. I am holy, your divine reflection. You are so kind and romantic.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m your favorite. You send the most lighthearted people to tell me how beautiful I am. They even bring me flowers weekly and write me letters. Everyone wants to photograph me or be my friend. Complete strangers light up when they see me. Babies and animals too. Even when I’m sad and exhausted, they tell me I’m beautiful. You’ve filled me with so much light. You must think I’m beautiful even when I’m in complete ruins. Total shambles, you love me still.

You grant me the strength I need when life drives me to a point of feeling defeated and depleted. You are the source that grants me permission to be replenished. These blessings that come through my everyday experience are not the workings of my own doing. No one is as mighty as you. Continue to guide my path and show me the way, for I am in the process of mastering surrender. I surrender to being lead by faith not by sight. I release my desire and need to control. I surrender to the total liberation of my soul.

Allah, I thank you for forgiving me when it was hard for me to forgive myself. Thank you for sending your strongest most compassionate soldiers into my life when I was too afraid to ask for help. I always need help. Thank you for being patient with me when I make mistakes. Father thank you for your mercy. Thank you . . . For your grace.

I’m in the midst of my Saturn return. Transitioning from Maiden to Mother has been the most challenging part of my journey thus far. I am baffled at how much I’ve resisted motherhood and the mother being that is so naturally me. The mother spirit flowing through me effortlessly. I don’t have children of my own, yet I have had the capacity to hold and mother so many. My family, my community, my lovers, friends and clients have all needed and received nurturance, oracle advice, tenderness and fluidly loving energy from me. I am witnessing my beloveds through their transition and I would find myself comparing myself to them and their journey as mothers. I sometimes felt as if I am being left behind or as if I have to rush to start a family simply because everyone is doing so. My seed hasn’t called for me yet nor am I waiting by the phone. I am changing within and I want my path to be different. At the heart of me comparing myself to my beloved mother beings, I recognize that none of them are married. My steps are being guided. I don’t want to have a starseed with a fling or a boyfriend. My sun or daughter moon will be brought into this realm with parents that do not consider themselves a baby mama and a baby daddy. I am a wife who will bear fruit with her husband.

THE RIGHTEOUS REMEMBRANCE

I believe I am worthy of a depthful and passionate love that can stand the test of time. It doesn’t have to be perfect but it has to make sense. I view partnership differently now that I am stepping more into my feminity. I have a heightened level of understanding as to what my role as a woman, sister, lover, friend and mother is supposed to be and who I need to become as a whole or what energy I need to embody to align with a love that is not only right for me, but righteous.

My mother is my saving grace. I mean that in the most literal way possible. She’s even saved me from life or death situations. My mom is the epitome of a woman and I worked hard to earn her love, trust and connectivity. I’ve learned a lot about communication and the importance of my voice as a woman. I believe I helped her discover the power of her own. I taught her how to express. I also taught my mom how to feel and how to cry. She’s taught me how to toughen up and to be stronger in the mind. She is so calm. My favorite quality about her is her ability to maintain her chill and to never get out of character. She’s such a lady. Through observing my mother I’ve discovered how to be sensual instead of sexy. How to ask for what I want and need rather than making demands to people who don’t owe me anything. She calls me a harsh peacemaker because I’m swift with cursing people out then apologizing or pretending like nothing happened moments later. My mother has tried to teach me how to be mindful of my tongue… yet sometimes the devil has it. I’m working on being more mindful of what I say. So I call her the Voice of Reason. She’s my medicine woman, my problem solver, my therapist, my accountant and my partner in crime all in one. She’s a balanced libra who’s constantly teaching me how to remain level headed in the midst of chaos and how to pick myself up when life tries to knock me down. My mom is a true queen. The original goddess with the crown.

I need to forgive my mother for just not showing up when I needed her in my youth. There are so many areas of my life that she missed out on simply because she was not present. Mentally, spiritually or physically but especially emotionally. She had no feelings! No emotion. Growing up it’s as if I witnessed my mother grow without ever seeing what makes her heart ache. She kept it all buried deep until I started to figure out who I AM. I believe that as she watched me journey through my life by making better and different choices or perhaps seeing all the courage I have to take risks, she began to remember who she is.

I didn’t see my mother cry until I was nearly an adult and I bet all the rice in China that those tears came about because I spoke something harsh and TRUE. We began to grow together rapidly from that very moment of her allowing herself to break open. Black women are always so afraid to fall apart.

My dad was around but my mom was still the bread winner which meant that work was more important than mothering. I had to mother myself for the most part and that was hard. I’ve never had to admit that. I haven’t admitted that until now, in this very moment as I type. I feel that sentence in my heart.

I try not to discredit my mothers efforts because I understood her at such a young age. Straight compassion for her even through my angry rebellious teenage years. I could’ve never seen her as the villian. I needed protection as an adolescent. I needed guidance and an understanding on what my life was going to be like as I transitioned from a girl into a woman. I had no real tools or a blueprint from my mother. I carved out a bunch of doorways and walked through them all in attempts to find myself. I didn’t know who she was. She didn’t know who I was. I started doing my own thing around 16 just to get away from my parents that refused to parent me.

I wish my mother would’ve been in love when she had me. I wish her and my father adored one another. I wish they respected and cherished one another so that I could’ve seen that with my own two eyes. My mother is the perfect lover from my perspective, I wish I knew what it looks like to see her in love. That’s really it. I wish my mother was so taken care of by a man that made her feel beautiful, powerful, courageous, wise, strong and soft. I wish I seen what it looks like first hand to see my mama with an open heart.

A DOVE IN A WORLD OF VULTURES

God,

I thank you for your patience and love for me as I navigate life and discover myself. I’ve always been so rooted and connected to you that I can’t see my life without you. I often think of the times I prayed daily to be adopted by a christian family between the ages of 10-14. You placed me in homes where it was the complete opposite and I just couldn’t understand why you’d do that, but I trusted you anyway. I remember a particular night I prayed to you expressing my trust in you and how I knew you wouldn’t let me down. That memory often brings me to tears because I had no one to rely on at such a young age but always had you and my faith. You stripped me from what I knew to learn about you through other denominations of faith like buddhism, mormonism, the muslim faith and more.

Connecting to you spiritually has stuck out the most to me as an adult because I finally felt closest to you and my ancestors. I discovered my gifts and the art of healing others by staying true to your plans for me. I thank you for that. As I get older I feel myself reconnecting to my roots. Gospel and reading the bible help me to gain perspective and a deeper truth I couldn’t fully grasp when I was younger.

Being sober has helped me feel closer to you for I don’t need anything else outside of you. I thank you for gifting me strength in all my times of trouble and despair. I aim to only grow closer to you in every way that I can. I pray that I align with a partnership and marriage that keeps you at the center of our union. Always.

Amen.

I feel as though I first met God as a teenager while constantly juggling change within myself and my surroundings. I relied heavily on God during those years to help ground me and get me through it all. The experience was enlightening because I learned how to trust in the unseen. I was always met with a miracle and never questioned Gods giving hand in my lowest times and high highs.

A word I’ll share with someone about God is that you don’t have to believe in God for God to still be real. Having an active role in your life and its direction. I had recently met someone who spent most of their life as an atheist and around the age of 30 they had a near death experience. They expressed that they shouldn’t have lived and were convinced they had died upon seeing a bright white light. Next thing they knew, they were awake. They then realized a higher power was at work and that higher power was God.

CHOOSING LOVE

I believe I will experience true love in a romantic partnership within this lifetime. I am worthy of being loved properly by someone because of my belief in it. Despite all of my failed attempts at loving someone and being loved by them, I still believe. That faith of a mustard seed is very real within me and I can’t let go of the vision.

Ever since I was young I envisioned myself as a mother and a wife, and I know I wouldn’t have that calling at a young age without a reason. My partners love will leave room for my healing and the expansion of the love I give to him and our family. Even though it’s been taking time to connect with a man that believes in it as much as I do and that believes in me as well.

I’ve never considered that love will miss me. The wait has been teaching me patience and tenderness, while the experiences lead me closer to my true partner and often reveal my suppressed trauma. It shows the work that is needed in order to further align with love. I won’t back down, for love is my birthright and it will find me in this lifetime.

I admire my God mother Shelly Foster. She’s always been a firecracker that accepts nothing beneath her worth and can back up anything she says. An eloquent woman who is exceptional with her words and smart as can be. She’s taught me a lot at a young age about femininity and how to carry myself, becoming confident and staying rooted in faith. She introduced me to upscale restaurants and the way a man should treat me, as well as the drive needed to run your own businesses and why it’s important to be around people who are great at what they do. She embodies womanhood not just because she is a mother, but because she radiates in her worth and power as a woman. She walks into a room and everyone’s jaw is on the floor!

S O U L F L A M E

My Beloved Raging Hawk,

When we first met I just thought you were bright like the sun. The first picture I seen of you, you were wearing a yellow shirt and it was so fitting for your shape and energy. I thought you were a bundle of joy and playfulness. I needed both aspects in my life since I’m so serious most of the time.

You are so sweet and compassionate. You are loyal. This is by far the most grand quality I adore within you because it reminds me of the lion within me. My desire for loyalty within friendship has been fulfilled through and with you but it has taken time. I worked hard to earn your trust and I know that at times my ways have been controlling, judgmental or possessive or protective. Through you I’ve had to unlearn the unhealthy mindsets I’ve had around love and friendship. What love does and what it doesn’t do. When it’s a facade versus when it’s real and true, you’re a soldier and I can count on you.

You are an attentive listener and always reveal to me the ways I have selective hearing and memory. You showcase the importance and value of paying attention when someone is speaking and to make an effort to understand with an open mind. You are sensitive. You are far more tender than you are tough. You remind me constantly in what ways I need to soften up.

You walk so slow, I’m the one that’s trying to get THERE. Your energy reminds me to slow down and to understand that whatever is over there, will still be there, when we get there. You take your time cooking and using seasonings that make sense. Sometimes it’ll take you 3 hours to make a 1 hour meal. You take your time and enjoy the process. I’m eating while I’m cooking and turning a 2 hour meal into a 35 minute cooking time frame. I’m ready to eat. I’m seasoning based on my mood which could be dangerous or delicious at the end of it all depending on your pallet.

Your openminded-ness challenges my solid ways of thinking. Your adaptability opposes my rigidity and need to control. Your ability to let go and move on teaches me how to release the belief systems I have around attatchment and to know that what’s meant for me will be. When I’m hiding out, you force me to bring forth my authenticity. You ignite my child-like glee. With you, my inner child is free. You keep me calm and grounded. You remind me to take it slow and to just be. You reflect the light and the shadow that is me. You’re my soul flame.

- Swift Raven

Last year was the longest summer and winter of my life. It was the most painful chapter of my book and the hardest aspect of our dynamic to work through. I didn’t expect you to be apart of or a witness to that level of grief. I fell in love and chose someone for the very first time and that was brave of me. I chose him. He attempted to have us both. After discovering the infidelity and betrayal, my resentment towards you both was immense. My rage was so big and my thoughts were violent. It was dark and I couldn’t see a thing. My rage turned into sorrow and my sorrow turned into grief. I was taken back by your ability to move on so swiftly whereas I felt trapped and unable to move. He had a grip on me. A pull that I didn’t feel strong enough to repel from. I felt like god was punishing me for not honoring my celibacy journey and going against all of my morals and values just to experience the thrill of being with someone young and fun. I felt unholy. The Bible and the book of Hosea was playing out right in front of me. I had no choice but to surrender to the lessons I needed to go through with him so that I could grow. I watched that love change me. Not only did he break my heart, but my heart was broken for you also. How does one heal their heart when two swords have penetrated it at once? I watched myself go from being a beacon of light with openness to a dark shadow that despises the day time. I let him steal my light and I blamed you for it. When the lesson was that I simply didn’t love myself enough to choose me. So it had to be you. God merely used him as a catalyst to bring us back together. In the end love won, because here we stand. The love and bond of a sistership that is strong cannot break or fold at the hands of a lesser man.

I think the reason why we always come back to love is because we both truly desire it and through one another, we are discovering unconditional love and acceptance. I think we have seen the messiest parts of one another and we still choose to grow and thrive in love. It’s like we both refuse to stop until we get it right.

You’re so easy to love. You’re the closest thing I have to a sister and our bond has developed so effortlessly since we met. We just get one another and what we don’t understand, we extend grace especially in moments that allow us to see another layer of eachothers onion. We keep peeling one another and each time a truth is revealed, the tears soon follow. We embrace it. I embrace you.

I love sitting between your legs when you do my hair. I never let my friends touch my crown. You always encourage me to put myself first and to honor my own needs and wants before doing so for others. I’m a sucker for being a people pleaser. I want everyone to love me. You remind me to not give a crap about what others think about me. You remind me of how fiery and fierce I am. I love your charisma and high intensity. I like how soft you can become when dealing with men. I like letting men know that I’m the boss. I love the fullness of your body. You’re built like a mother. I can’t wait to help you birth and raise your children. What a time that will be. Don’t rush it my love. We have things to do.

I’m proud of you and us. The work we have put in to maintain our friendship is backed behind love, surrender, compassion , grace and mercy. We both deserves each others love and I am happy to be a witness of your experience. Thank you for loving me still when I am moody, sad , mean, aggressive, condescending, angry, tired or when I choose myself. Thank you for not giving up on what we have built. I love you for life and I put that on our unborns. I vow to be committed to our growth. Do you? Say “I DO” then.

Hehe *Michael Jackson voice .

THE NURTURER

Dear You,

I spent so much time picking myself up off the ground when I was hurt by you. I didn’t understand how someone could be so in, to soon be all out. You helped me realize the purity of my heart and why it’s important to not let experiences like ours defeat or change you. Although that pain was filled with melancholia, I’m grateful to have experienced love with you. I’m grateful to have been loved by you and loving to you. It hurt to let you go but it would’ve hurt even more had I stayed and not learned from our mistakes.

Love is an interesting thing and now that I’m at the age you were at the time, I realize how easy trauma can lie dormant within us and project itself as the years go by. Just because we get older doesn’t mean the pain dissipates. Sometimes the best you can do is hold on to those pieces and slowly put them back together while mending your heart. I’ve been hurt many more times after you, yet I still come back to love. Perhaps because you had a weird way of showing me? Very trauma filled but always filled with lessons I won’t ever dare to ignore or oversee for anyone else.

I forgive you for not being a true leader. I forgive you for leading me astray. I forgive you for the pain you caused at that time, for I am so much stronger and wiser at my age because of it. Most importantly, Thank you for letting me go. I would have never discovered myself had I chosen you over me. Our connection and it’s ending freed me, and for that, I am forevermore grateful.

- Me.

ALTRUISTIC ACCEPTANCE

I believe i’m perceived in many ways that I don’t care to pay attention to. It’s just not my business what people think of me unless it caters to my authenticity and truth. But if I have to say, I feel others perceive me as “out there” or bold.

Rejection makes me feel small. Ironic huh? Considering I’m as tall as a tree. I feel like rejection for me is hardly ever direct. I love when people are direct and honest because it leaves no room for misinterpretation and wondering. But I realize rejection in my past has been someone gradually building up the courage to disconnect from me. It has made me question myself and my worth, manifesting into an insecurity at which I use to self sabotage when something good potentially comes my way. In my body it sits in my heart and feels heavy in my chest for a split second.

Rejection in every way makes me feel this way, a declined job offer has made me feel this more than a relationship has. To be fair, I move on from people quickly, but that does not mean it doesn’t hurt when initiated. It often leaves a scar that takes healing.

My perspective on sex and intimacy hasn’t shifted much over the years but perhaps it has expanded. I believe it is such a sacred act that many overuse and confuse for the sake of gaining intense pleasure. Intimacy can be had without having sex, however, I do believe both are equally important.

I’ve come to this mindset through my experiences and navigating my desires for intimacy- be it through sex or intimate acts that don’t revolve around sex. I’ve discovered that both are important but it is quintessential to not abuse the act and to be selective and intentional with who you engage in the act with.

People struggle with their urges whereas I’d rather wait to share myself with someone special. As much as no one is better than the next, my level of sexual discipline and intentionality sets me apart and I take pride in that.

THE PATH FINDER

🎶 I Gotta Find Peace Of Mind- Lauryn Hill 🎶

Dear Ace,

I loved you. I love you. It is 3 am and I’m sober. Lai told me to stop smoking and I’m feeling the weight of my heavy heart. The ache that’s an effect of your cause. I am presented with a fierce anger that I thought had dissipated months ago. I wish that you were brave enough to love deeply. To be honest loving you was easy. Understanding you was the challenge. In this moment I have to forgive you. I have to feel the forgiveness permeate throughout my being. I have to believe it this time.

I have to believe that just because you didn’t know how to love me correctly, does not mean that you did not love me at all. You were struggling to love yourself and I see that. The pain inflicted upon me through our love only revealed the ways that you were suffering. It is not my responsibility to heal you. It was not your duty to ever stay. I wanted you to choose me because I chose you. Loving you felt like a never ending war that I was constantly losing. I was supposed to be your lover, not your opposition. Yet you tried to demolish me, when I tried to carry you to safety. I thought we both believed that war was only righteous if the end goal is peace.

Still, I managed to love you because that’s who I am. Throughout the strife, I found my light. I discovered who I am and who I am not. I don’t remember what your touch feels like. I don’t recall the sound of your voice and I can’t even visualize the veins and scars on your hands. You’re being wiped from my memory and I have to make peace with the parts of me that once held on so tightly to you.

I forgive you as I forgive the wounded parts of myself that believed the breadcrumbs you offered me was love. I made peace with the aspects of myself that allowed me to settle for you. I thank you for showing up as yourself. In return, I discovered who I truly am and what I really deserve.

I love you. I loved you.

- Rose 🥀

THE ETHEREAL EMBRACE

My body is a sacred temple and these days I do not like being touched. It’s such a strange phenomena for me considering the fact that I’m a massage therapist and I spend most of my days touching people but I think that is also a small factor as to why I reject touch. My mother tries to hug me often, I deny her and push her away swiftly. It shocks me in moments because there’s nothing more pleasant than snuggling into my mothers bossum, but I realize that I desired affection from her in my youth when she denied me it. My mother didn’t hug or kiss me. We didn’t begin to touch one another until I sauntered into adulthood. Now I think that I just reflect that same energy back to her and I no longer seek touch from her because I didn’t receive it as a kid or teenager when I wanted and needed it. I dont enjoy handshakes either. I’ve been studying the Asian culture and how, in their realm, they bow when greeting another being. As a form of respect but also to avoid energy exchange. I’d rather nod my head or bow than to embrace someone with a handshake or hug. Even people I love and adore. There’s a select few people in my life that I happily grant permission to exchange touch. I have to feel safe. I love embracing my younger brothers because it’s the only time I can feel their heart space. I let my honey hold my hand while he’s driving or kiss my hand or cheek when we depart. Sometimes I’ll lay on his chest but I’ll get uncomfortable when we lay together for too long. I’m like a cat and I’m seeing all the ways that I move like one. I’m working on being more open and receptive in this area by digging deeper into myself to find the initial wound that makes me repel touch and affection when it’s the one thing that I secretly desire most of all.

I am allowing myself to slowly but surely surrender to Islam. Muslim women have always been the most beautiful women in my eyes. Not just because they are obviously physically beautiful, but it is their faith, discipline and obedience to Allah that moves me. That shifts me to change. I want to be surrounded with women that believe in sacred union and divine counterpartship. Wholesome women. I want to be held by a community of believers because I have never fit in anywhere else. I want to surrender my wandering and gypsy like ways to be a kept woman. A devout and holy woman. A Muslim woman.

My father is Muslim and I have family members that are also devotees of the most high. My father aggressively made attempts in my youth to teach myself and my family Arabic and to slowly convert us but we all rejected his attempts. He wasn’t even slightly close to being successful in this endeavor because no one in my household respected him as a man.

I’m a believer now and I owe it to my Father for the guidance and for showing me the way even though I was not ready to become a follower at such a young age. I had to live a little life to then make the decision for myself and that is exactly what I am doing. I am making the choice to give myself away to Allah.

I understand the sacrifices that must come with this change and transition. I surrender to the lifestyle that I must do away with in order to create space for the lifestyle I am preparing myself for.

The hardest part about this transition will be the covering of my body. I have utilized my vessel as a way of expression and freedom for most of my life. I’ve been so excited about how quickly I’ve been racking up cool tattoos, even some that scare people. You know sometimes I step outside and wonder why people are staring or talking about me then I realize I literally have a giant serpent on my neck. God is funny.

Covering myself will make me feel hidden, trapped, restricted and probably hot most of the time but I have BEEN preparing. I noticed this because I’ve been wrapping my hair for years. I’ve become so comfortable with my crown being covered that it only makes sense that the rest of my body being covered would soon follow. I feel the most beautiful when my hair is wrapped and when I’m wearing soft fabrics.

I will have to change my dialogue because I curse like a sailor and I’m prone to gossip. I will have to surrender some of the music I listen to and my habits such as over eating and abusing the mother plant. Both habits bring me comfort. What I eat and what I inhale. With emphasis on this, I can tell that spirit is also working on my voice and my throat chakra. I release the attatchments I have to this version of myself so that I can be catapulted into the version of myself I am envisioning. The version of myself Allah is creating right before my very e y e. I pray that I am held and carried throughout the process and that I fully dedicate myself to this new way of life.

I’m prepared for the chatter that will come with this change in me. I’m prepared to be removed from the lives of people I love but that are not aligned with my future. I’m ready for the naysayers and people that will judge me for giving myself permission to change.

This change that is brewing within me will be a testimony to others that it doesn’t matter where you come from and who you’ve been. What matters is who you are now and who you are striving to become in this world. The Great I AM is using me as an example so here I am, giving myself away.

Rejection is hard for my mind to process. It’s like a foreign concept that my mind refuses to accept. So perhaps rejection is just confusing to me. I believe that I’m special. So it’s startling to me when I am rejected by people or opportunities because it never fully makes sense as to why I am or was not chosen. If anything, I begin to ponder and analyze reasons why the rejection is occurring and what lesson I’m supposed to learn about myself through it. There was a time when such a thing would make me feel insecure or unworthy. Now I just process it as , that just wasn’t for me and I’m okay with that. Or I see rejection as protection and a grand opportunity for redirection.

I’m addicted to my celibacy journey. I’ve had spurts in my life where I restrain from intimate acts but this time around has been the longest time frame and the most peaceful. I genuinely deem other mortals as unworthy of connecting with, viewing or having me intimately in any way. My body is only for my lover, myself and my unborn. No one else should be granted any form of access to my body and this mindset has made it easy for me to make proper decisions when it comes to intimacy.

It’s no longer about sex. If the sex doesn’t come with love, then what’s the purpose? Sex was designed for procreation. If my intention isn’t to bare fruit with a man or if I cannot see myself raising a family with him, what makes him worthy of having the pleasure of experiencing me in my most vulnerable state of being? My mother gave me the greatest advice. She said “ If you cannot see yourself raising a child with a man, ponder on why you’d even consider opening your legs for him.” 16 year old me didn’t understand her when she said that. 28 year old me will live by that forever.

I have vowed to remain celibate until marriage. This is such a foreign thing in my family, city, friendships and overall society. I am dedicated. I want to make the decision to share myself with someone I love and someone that I am committed to as we both are committed to god and our own individual paths. I want my partner to be so in love with himself that when we come together, he is only sharing that love with me. Vise versa. I want a holy union. A partnership that is gentle with my spirit, mind , body and heart. I want a love that feels like ocean waves and with the same passion a painter gets when they are creating art. I want devotion and truthfulness in my relationship. I want sex that feels like I’m on another planet because a high vibrational climax can get us both there and heal wounds embedded within our DNA. I want a lover that doesn’t sit and argue back and forth with me. When I have an attitude or moving from a place of inner disruption, I need my man to guide me to my knees with him to pray.

I need a ring on my finger. I won’t have it any other way.

B A R E T R U T H

Swift Raven,

I love your heart and your ability to shine wherever you go. You radiate so seamlessly and your energy demands to be felt, seen and heard. This is a natural born gift because when you are yourself, you give others the opportunity to see themselves in you too. You’re quick to compliment someone, and it can be something so random like “Your left pinky toe is so cute!” or “You have such a defined philtrum” and I love that! You will forever be vocal about what it is you admire in someone and that is the greatest energy to be able to witness.

You’re such a girls girl and deeply empathic. You make so many people’s day with your bright smile and charisma. I also love your focus, drive and commitment to healing others. You are quite selfless in a world of selfishness and are truly a rare gem. Similar to me, you see things as a bigger picture and dream as big as possible. I love how you reflect the great parts of me and the parts where healing is still needed as well. I’m quite honored and grateful to witness and love you in this lifetime!

- Raging Hawk

The most challenging experience we went through was when I got into a relationship and my partner did not like you as you did not like him, and I felt caught in the middle of choosing my friend or my lover. In retrospect there’s so much that could have happened differently and there was a lot underneath the surface, considering it wasn’t as shallow as one person disliking the other. It affected me deeply and caused a level of pain I never knew I would face at that time. I desired synergy and realized I couldn’t force that upon anyone, on top of the lessons needed for my growth and yours too. I learned that you wanting to save me from unnecessary heartbreak was you wanting to love me. A true friend, mother, sister in one. I understand the place in your heart. I didn’t know how to receive it at the time as we both could have done a lot of things differently, but your intentions were pure and I’ve been able to see the experience from an enlightened and loving perspective.

I’ve discovered through our connection that relationships won’t work unless you put in the work for them to prosper. Running away is easy and loving is harder, but the more you come back to love, the easier it gets. I’ve learned that my ego can be defensive and when I’m operating with my heart it’s felt at a great magnitude.

I’ve also gained a deeper level of understanding for myself through our connection, because of how much you’ve accepted me throughout every shift i’ve undergone. It has opened up a door for me to do the same for myself, you, and many others. What’s helped me has been the push from you to step into my power. You’ve always seen the best parts of me that I’d shy away and hide from others. Getting me out of my comfort zone has helped me tremendously in navigating fear and authenticity.

The parts of our connection that has wounded me were the many times my efforts weren’t acknowledged or appreciated. It was hard feeling like I failed countless times considering the many circumstances we found ourselves in, and our fiery egos being combative in times of disagreement. I’ve grown to love you more and more as I was able to see your perspectives from a place of compassion, and understanding your truth better.

Your acceptance of me and ability to come back to love has helped me do the same for you because you never gave up on me and our connection. That was the biggest testament of your loyalty to me and no one’s ever had the courage to come back to love in the ways that we have for eachother. I really appreciate the highs and lows of our journey because as rocky as it was at times, we’ve proven our love and loyalty to eachother. Understanding the power of unity and sisterhood. We’ve risen and matured.