Letters to my parents

There were a lot of letters which I had written to my Dad and Mom over the past thirty years. Dad and Mom read every one of them, and at some time, in time, all of these letters made their way back to me.

The year was 1991 when I wrote this letter from my parent's house when they were on holidays. I sent this letter to Uncle Allan Sweeting, who lived at his parent's place, where he moved after selling his farm, which was located just outside of Maryfield, Saskatchewan. Maryfield is a village which is located eight km from the Manitoba border and 60 km north of the American border.

For some reason, Mom did not want to show Uncle Allan my letter since they seemed to be very embarrassed by my writing. Mother seemed to be very annoyed at the topics which I chose to write about. I am not sure why she felt so negative about my letter. However, she told me that she could not let uncle Allan read my letter.

I wrote my parents about whatever was on my heart. To set the setting of my letter, I was staying at my parents while they were on holidays. Here is the start of my letter.

July 16, 10:20 pm

Dear Dad and Mom,

Times here at the Vanderwoude house can be described in three words. Good, Hot, and Stressful. It is over 80 f in this house. The fan is blowing cool air onto my Summer make bed. I do not know what I will do when you get home. I guess I will have to sleep in a 91 f room. It is hot even with the windows wide open and the shades drawn.

To bring you the reader a little background of how our house in Sedgewick was in order that all the parts of my letter will make sense. The living room was just off of the kitchen. My bedroom was upstairs of our house. We lived in Sedgewick but attended the Killam Baptist Church, 11 km west of Sedgewick.

From July 26, 27, 28 and August 3, 4, and 5, Pastor Chris Wilson will be coming to candidate. Pastor Wilson is 36 years old, married, and has three boys, 12, 10, and 8. He has had 11 years of pastoral experience.

Now, I am going to talk about this girl who I met through a Christian pen pal site which was just a little before the internet started on these dating sites. I am trying to date this girl, and in my little world, I was doing an excellent job. Here is the next section on how I felt my relationship with Tanya was going. Long-distant relationships at this time were pretty comfortable to me. This is what I had to tell Dad and Mom about this special girl.

Tanya is doing well. She is going to California with her Uncle and Aunt. She will leave with them on Thursday, July 18 and be back on August 15. She plans to phone me from California and send me a few postcards. I also get a few pictures from her trip. Pictures of her on the trip as well. She also plans to phone me on August 15 or as soon as she gets back. Her phone will be out of order from July 17 to September 3. From that time, she will be phoning me and also when I go to school she will phone me from Lethbridge. I think it will be 50/50. I gave her my dorm phone number.

Now, I would like to put in some reality facts which is lacking in this part of my letter.

I never received any postcards or phone calls from her. I was the one who gave 99% to her 1%. When she got to school in Lethbridge, she had just ended our one-sided relationship without explanation. I did all the phoning and all the contacting, which made for a very poor relationship.

When I later met the girl who is my wife today, this might be why Dad and Mom wanted to ensure that this one was real. They were convinced that all the other ones were all imagnary. Many of these girls were real, but the relationships were mostly in my head.

This was why they asked to have a dinner date with this young lady to ensure she was real. They thought that Lorne needed all the help he could receive. Looking back at all this, I can say that I did need some help very badly. Now, the next part of the letter is based on actual facts. This was what Tanya told me on the phone when I phoned her.

She has gotten a new 1991 car. It is like mine. She only paid 50% of it and on top of it she got it on sale. The car is worth 16,000 dollars, and she got it for 7000 dollars and only had to pay 3,500 dollars. Her parents are loaded. They are soon retiring and are selling a lot of their land. If I remember correctly, they sold 950 acres for 350 dollars per acre = $332,500. Tanya says that it was all hay land. For hay, it sells for $0.95 a bushel, but it takes $2.50 to put it in the ground per bussel. That is a loss of $1.55 a bussel. I believe that they got 1000 acres left - I maybe wrong.

Now what I wrote to Dad and Mom should have raised a red flag. Now, remember that I was in love with this girl. I thought that she had the same feeling for me as I had for her. Now, this was what she told me about her Grandmother.

Tanya’s Grandmother, Mrs.Fletcher, told Tanya how much she did not like her when she was around four. When her class had a Grandparent's day; her other Grandparents were sick, so her mother asked Tanya to ask Mrs. Fletcher. Mrs.Fletcher wouldn’t hear anything of the sort. She hates Tanya and told her so. Her Mother told me about Mrs.Fletcher when I had a chat with her. It seems to me that her parents approve of me. I like her mother a lot. She talks so much. Tanya tells me that she is a quiet person, but she seems to open up on the telephone. I am glad that it is her turn until September. My bill is high.

Now, looking back on this situation, I will have to conclude that the reason why my bill was so high was because in reality, I was the only one in this relationship. Tanya, well, was absent in this situation. I should have realized that there was a reason why her one Grandmother did not want her in her life since she was four. If I did marry her, who knows how long that marriage would have lasted? It was a good thing that she walked out on me when she did. Her friend Pam offered to say hello for me when I had saw her years later at Mirror Lake Park. I was engaged to my wife, who is my best friend. I gave Tanya a chance, and she walked all over my heart. God did save me from a lot of grief when he allowed her to walk away from me for good. She did not do anything which she had promised me that she would do. She in reality, led me on, and who needs that in a life partner?

This was the last straw that happened, which did end our one-sided relationship. Now, what just occurred to me was Tanya gave me directions to where her parents used to live.

Tanya’s parents are moving 30 miles away from their original spot. Today is the move. They have No power or telephone, no running water, no lights until September 3. When I go to see her maybe on August 16-18. I know how to get to Olds so I will begin from where the map stops helping me. From Olds turn on Eagle Hill road (starts paved and by Eagle Hill coop store then curves then hits gravel. 15 miles. Come to gravel road, turn south and go two miles, one mile and a half west and one mile north. When she phones on the 15 of August or some day like it, give or take a few days, we will discuss when we shall visit.

That never did happen. I was crushed and very badly hurt. No wonder her Grandmother did not like her. She was very mean by leading me on. She knew that I really did like her a lot and I thought I would be married to her. By what I do know now, I am so grateful. that this relationship did fail.

Today, I am married to my best friend, who is honest with me. She cares about my feelings, and she desires to have me have the best life through our God, who we both serve together. Who knows what her mother said behind my back? Who knows what Tanya said behind my back? I am so happy that I have been with my best friend for the past 28 years. I am so blessed by God and I am very content.

I will end with citing the rest of my letter. I was not happy with that job which I worked that Summer. I never went back there ever again.

I have 34 days left of work. Today, that John Deer made me so mad, and Martin made me so furious. That old cluck! He got on my case about the lawns not being mowed. I could be caught up if those stupid machines worked! Four days of breakdowns, and it seems like Martin blames me for the slowdown. I have been at Fish Lake for four days and am still not done. Day after day! It makes me so angry! I got to go to bed now. Got to get up in six hours.

July 17, 4.26 pm

Today at work was stupid. This was day number five for breakdowns. The blade was so tight that it would cause the tractor to shut off when the mower was activated. I spent the rest of the day picking up garbage at the Fishing pond and Lee Park. I started at 5.45 am and made one-half hour over time.

Baseball was good last night. The Killam Baptist team scored 20, and the other team scored 6. I am not sure 100% about the score. But I am 100% sure that we did win the game. Out of three tries, I made one home run.

I have ten more minutes to write to you. I worked in the garden this afternoon. I would have to work at 5.45 am tomorrow, but both of my mowers are out of commission. Pat told me to come in at 7 am.

Now, I will talk about my parent's anniversary and a little about Tanya’s mother. Remember, I was in love with Tanya, and I did know what she looked like. To me, she was a very hot-looking girl, and I was in love with her. May I remind you, she never felt the same way back to me.

I trust that all is well with you two. I hope that you will have many more. Tanya’s mother is only a year younger than you are, mother. This weekend, I feel like going to Camrose to rent a single for $34.00, go to the museum, Mall, Christian bookstore, and return home Saturday night. I would even go see the Boss. I love to but would need $34.70 for the Motel, $10.00 Supper, $2.50-$3.50 for Breakfast, $5.00 for the Museum, and that would be all except $10.00 for gas = $61.00. I am tempted if I had the money. Well, I should be off to Bible study.

July 18, 7.55 pm

Today at work, I worked 7.5 hours whipping grass. Both of my mowers were being fixed. I got in eight hours. I have only one more day than the weekend. Nine more days of work. There is only 30 days of work. That is 1920 dollars worth left. That means only four more weeks left.

Last night was Bible study at the Sorensons.

Please let me step back in to explain who the Sorensons were. Ralph and Jean Sorenson attended the Killam Baptist Church. Mr. Sorenson was on the church board with my father. Kevin and my brother, Peter, would, in later years, serve on the same board.

It was on James 2:14-26. There were 15 people out. Sunday night service was well attended. It was at the Lewis farm, which was Brent’s place. I guess there were 50-60 people out. Pastor John was sick, so he went home in the afternoon. Baseball was good too.

This Sunday, there is no evening service. After tomorrow, one and a half weeks until payday. I can hardly wait. I spotted a stereo that I would like. It costs $432.00 and is a well-known brand. It can be serviced very easily. Panasonic is the name. They used to carry cheap brands, which were hard to get parts for, so their servicing sucked. Now all they carry are the brands that the Brick and other city stores carry. Top quality brands. They stopped carrying cheap ones. I will have to see the price that the Brick has for that Brand. Maybe the Brick will have it 30% cheaper. I really hope that they do. I will talk to Peter about that. Servicing and quality are not the problem but now a decent price.

I have to go for now. Please phone home sometime.

From with Love

Your son Lorne.

Now, as a reality check, I never did buy a new stereo from anywhere. I do not remember any conversation about anything with my brother. This was inside my head and had nothing to do with reality.

This is the first letter which I decided to write about. July 16, 1991 was just one of the letters I had written to my parents.