Journal Entry: Mon. May 9th 2022

Monday, May 9th 2022

NOTE: VOCAL THIS STORY IS NOT PLAGERIZED. This is about my day. I'm not sure why they said it was plagerized other than I repeat the repetitive things I do during the day in my routine with the same wording.

I dream I finally get my doctor's appointment to check for cancer.

I wake at 6:30 AM and go to do laundry, but I need to put money on my card first. But fuck, the card machine is broken. I try it anyway despite the sign. There seems to be an alternative way to do it, and I try, but it doesn't work. I give up and go back to bed.

I dream about a city of Cannibals who are mass marketing human meat.

I wake up again at noon and have a message from the City of Los Angeles about my new appointment, but it's another month away. Again.

I brew a Bones Coffee Co. Mustachio Coffee in my Z's Divine Espresso mug.

I journal and post on Vocal, check the SSA site, and listen to Pink Floyd's, 'The Wall.'

I watch an episode of Star Trek: Discovery.

I toast an English Muffin in our new, four-slotted toaster, and spread on some vegan butter. I plop some spinach down on that thing; then I place a juicy tomato slice and then a warmed, Oven-Roasted Tofurkey slice. I slide on some vegan Follow-Your-Heart Smoked Gouda Cheese. Then I sizzle up some smoked Tempeh Bacon and put them on top. I toast a Just Egg fold and mount it on top of the bacon. Topped with salt, black pepper, and Red Cayenne Pepper. Then I load it up with a fuckton of hot sauce. And Voila. A Vegan sandwich so veganly.

I feast.

But I don't stop there. I eat a banana, a mandarin orange, and a handful of raw almonds. Then I finish the meal with pita chips and red pepper hummus.

I do the dishes while listening to Pink Floyd's, 'The Final Cut.'

Then I shower with Bourbon, 2-n-1, Head and Shoulders, Shampoo/Conditioner. I use a bar of soap called Man Bar that smells like Taco Bell's meat seasoning. Then I lather myself with Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Soap and rinse. I then smother myself with body wash: Duke Canon THICK Bourbon Bodywash. After rinsing I rinse my hair. Then I use my Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Plant-Based Beard Wash. I rinse. I dry and comb my red beard with its elegant white streaks.

I put on Axe Apollo Fresh Stick, because they were out of Phoenix.

I heat filtered, water to 203 Degrees Fahrenheit in my black, Fellow EKG Gooseneck Kettle and steep two teaspoons of Hojicha Roasted Green Tea for two minutes in my Mike Wazowski mug. I purchased the tea at The Tea Table online. I highly recommend them.

I put Big Bourbon Beard Balm in my beard and Bourbon Cologne Balm on my neck and wrists.

Shelby comes home and we eat vegan nachos.

I brush my teeth and brew Bones Coffee Co. Mustachio into my Powell's Bookstore mug.

I check the mail. We have a few things. Including a reminder for an appointment I thought was cancelled. I'm so confused.

I listen to Pink Floyd's, 'A Momentary Lapse of Reason,' and, 'The Division Bell.'

Then I pour myself a glencairn of Compass Box: The Spaniard Blended Malt Scotch Whisky.

Shelby continues to watch her shows while I listen to music.

I ordered Blazin' Burgers. I got a double with savage fries. Shelby got a single with fries.

We watch Saturday Night Live with Benedict Cumberbatch.

We feast.

Then we watch Barry on HBO Max, and I have another scotch.

I shower with Bourbon, 2-n-1, Head and Shoulders, Shampoo/Conditioner. I use a bar of soap called Man Bar that smells like Taco Bell's meat seasoning. Then I lather myself with Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Soap and rinse. I then smother myself with body wash: Duke Canon THICK Bourbon Bodywash. After rinsing I rinse my hair. Then I use my Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Plant-Based Beard Wash. I rinse. I dry and comb my red beard with its elegant white streaks.

I put on Axe Apollo Fresh Stick, because they were out of Phoenix.

Then we go to bed.

And that's it.

That's my day.

That's Monday, May 9th 2022