I Was One Handshake from Castro

It’s a commonly held perception that anyone is only six or less social links (degrees of separation) away from any other living person on this planet, whether it’s the President of Russia or one of the Kardashians, perish the thought. It’s also known as the six handshakes rule, although ‘rule’ seems a rather strange word in the context.

So, think about it. A fundamental social network that we all belong to, the human race.

What about a native Australian in a tribe in the Outback, how could he or she be only six handshakes away from anyone else? Let’s take the President of China, Xi Jinping as an example. Not the best choice perhaps, because China is currently engaged in a trade dispute with Australia.

Anyway, the native Australian has a tribal leader — let’s say 2 handshakes away. That tribal leader will have contact within the State Government, who has contact with the leader of the State. Let’s say that’s 4 handshakes so far.

The State leader will almost certainly have a handshake with the Australian Prime Minister. Five. And at the G20 leaderfest — well, one more handshake and we have our 6 links from the native Australian in the outback to the President of the People’s Republic of China.

A thought game for you

Now, here’s a thought game for you to play when you are struggling to get to sleep:

Work out the name of a ‘famous person you are can link to in four or fewer handshakes. Anyone can link in six, and if I say five then I’ll be flooded with competition entries. So, four sounds about right.

Of course it does come down to what is meant by ‘famous’. I’ll say it’s anyone whose name can be found in Wikipedia and who was alive within the last 10 years.

So, off you go, I’d love to see your entries in the comments.

Here’s mine:

My Cuban entry

It was 2017 and we’d sailed from Port Antonio in Jamaica to Cienfuegos on the south coast of Cuba. We dropped anchor at 1900 hrs (7pm) and just dark, when the local Port Captain visited us and told us to leave immediately as the harbor had been closed to visiting yachts. There was not much we — or he — could do about that, the orders had come from Havana. We had to bugger off, there and then.

The nearest suitable harbor for us required an overnight trip to the west, past the Bay of Pigs (remember that, one of the CIA's finest hours, and it’s still a closed area?) to a marina on an island called Cayo Largo.

It is a laid-back tourist resort with an international airport and no onions (I’ll tell you about that some other time). Air links are the only way in and out, even for the staff (a month on, a month off).

The next day dawned clear bright and breezy — typically Caribbean. We had a few issues with the electronic navigation charts (like no water where there should have been) but eventually managed to find our way through the reefs. It was beautiful with white sand and clean water. We headed on up the channel through the mangroves and caimans to the marina, luckily arriving just before siesta.

Seven officials plus a springer spaniel drug sniffer dog visited us to clear us in. They were all very pleasant and the formalities took about an hour to complete.

Then we visited the marina office to pay our dues to the manager, Piri.

On the office wall was a picture of him and Fidel Castro, together. He told us that he had been in the Cuban Army and had served in Angola and Ethiopia. It turned out that Piri spoke seven languages and had worked as one of Fidel Castro’s personal translators in high-power international meetings. And boy, did he hate Kennedy!

So, there you have my competition entry. Fidel Castro (died 2016). 2 Degrees of separation, 2 handshakes.

And one more competition rule: If you have your own listing in Wikipedia then you are not qualified to enter.

Here’s a poor photo of the photo which is owned by Piri. He gave me permission to snap it in his office. With apologies for the light reflection from the glass.

Judging and prizes

The first prize in this game is the huge kudos of being first in a noted international competition involving the ‘famous’. Now that’s worth a lot and just think, you’ll be able to dine out on it for years.

In the event of a tie then those of you who claim a connection to a criminal will be downgraded. Beyond that? Well, I’ll figure that out when trying to get to sleep.

And now I’ve just realized that many people consider Fidel Castro to be a criminal. Disqualify me? No way, it’s my bat and my ball, OK?

So, good luck with your entry though it’s not really about luck, it’s about who you know. And I do hope you get to sleep.

Consolation prize: If you managed to read this far then you can pick up a free novel from my link at the end. That’s reward enough in itself, right?

Postscript — a late entry

I just remembered that I once met Bonnie Tyler on a train to London, and she signed a fan card for me. I love her music and she’s from Swansea, near where I grew up. One handshake (no kiss, unfortunately). But I’m not making Bonnie my official entry because I think that the story about Fidel Castro is more entertaining than strangers on a train. Maybe you agree.

See, it’s not hard is it? And it makes a great conversation starter at dinner, you know, when you have friends round for pizza and Dr Peppers.

Oh, and now I just realized I could link to the Queen of England in two shakes, although the intermediary is now dead. The father of a friend owned a factory and won a Queen’s Award to Industry. I’ve seen the picture of them together. But no commoner is allowed to shake the Queen's hand.

That does suggest that I need to tighten the rules - no dead intermediaries. But not tonight — we’re already controlled by too many rules and anyway I need to sleep…

Talking of sleep, before you do nod off, if you’re religious, talking to God every night does not count as an entry. You’ll need to prove a handshake. Rules, rules, rules!

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Canonical: This story was originally published in Medium on 25 July 2021 [minor edits]