I Resign

To Whom It May Concern,

I find myself in the position of having to resign from my current designation of: [enter appropriate title here]. It's funny to think we begin this exchange with words like "to whom it may concern". Why? Well, it's your blatant lack of concern that has led me to take this action. If I were truly your [employee/lover/family/friend] then we entered this agreement with a basic understanding of my role, qualifications, responsibilities, compensation, hours, etc. The ties that bind were contractual. I'm not being fired, laid off, or let go- so my resignation is due to a breach from your side. You failed me.

I resign from being the token, good worker in every aspect of my life. I show up early, and leave late. The first in, the last to leave. I go above and beyond in all my duties. Deadlines? Met early. Heavy workload? Done (or assisted with) by end of day. What is a sick day? Sickness is weakness, and weakness does not exist in this dojo. Holidays? I'll take the time and a half. I am clocked in, and locked in, 24 hours, 7 days and counting. 1 year? 2% raise. 3 years? 3% raise. Year 5 and you ignore my requests for leave? Or force upon me workloads that require overtime, but tell me I'm not worth the pay? I'm struggling to tread water in an overinflated economy; in a world that views me as little more than human. 2 strikes already for being born not only Black, but female. I must be lazy, uneducated, and defiant of authority. That doesn't seem to be the case when you expect me to be Superwoman. The reliable one. The one who shows up. But you're not concerned with my well-being, my being deserving of promotions, or upward mobility. So, I'm not concerned with running on a stationary wheel, trying to win your rat race. I resign from being the one who shows up, but gets left behind.

I feel as if I'm wasting time being love personified, seeing as how I am never chosen as your person. You look at me and like what you see, but expect me to remain a concept. A body to touch, but a soul unfulfilled. A good time, but not for a long time. You fill my ears with empty platitudes; praising my face and curves, but only tolerating my mind. You show up in the beginning because I enjoy a good meal, love a great movie, and look as good as I taste*. But once you realize that I'm sapiosexual, all of a sudden there are gaps in the stories you tell. Timeliness becomes nonexistent. The math isn't mathing-ing when we add up the missing minutes between texts going ignored. Baby, did you get lost in the space-time continuum? Because the woman who showed up in my DMs, 3 weeks into this talking phase, believes we are living on parallel time-lines. So, I resign in the form of a block- effective immediately.

Cousin! Auntie! Sis! Oh. You remembered I exist. Is it because Facebook sent you a notification reminding you it is the 39th anniversary of my existence on earth? But when you lifted my wallet at that last family function, did you not catch the birthdate on my driver's license? Reading is fundamental, fam'. Maybe I exist today because you're down on your luck, and you need a few bucks to tide you over. Or you need support from family becauae you're sick from substances that you chose over familial bonds. The only time I see you is at reunions or funerals; yet, I can't be sure if the funeral were mine, you would bother to be in attendance. You can keep your little red heart- it's not large enough to hold me in it. And even if we do share blood, I wouldn't waste the water from my eyes on you.

And the biggest heartbreak of all- chosen family, if you will. A person I chose, painstakingly, to tread this mortal coil with. My Day 1. My bestie. My person. The person who is the keeper of my darkest secrets, and the person who taught me what unconditional love was. Up, down, or out- there with me in the thick of it. A bond that surpasses physical and can only be understood on the spiritual plane. I picked up pieces of your broken heart, the same way you pieced together my broken psyche. I've picked up every call, held you through teary break downs, helped you put together your home, loved your children as my own, and placed your well-being above my own. I've breathed life into you when I saw other's trying to rob you of it. And the second you could trade me for a ploy to save your relationship, you did. Decades erased for a weak, pathetic, undiagnosed sack of man meat that never deserved you. For an ineffectual, disgusting, narcissistic waste of flesh, who has been systematically driving a wedge in all of your important relationships. A man who has emotionally abused you to the point that I no longer recognize this shell of a woman left. It hurts me physically, emotionally, and spiritually to have to distance myself. But I won't be a victim to your poor judgment. I've witnessed your metaphorical death. Don't make me watch you choose a literal one.

To everyone whom it actually concerns ... I seek greener pastures. I long to be where I am valued as a whole, not sifted through for parts. I don't want my kindness mistaken for weakness; it can be revoked. I don't want my empathy taken for stupidity; it can be revoked. I give of myself, my time, my resources, and my respect unselfishly, until you actively show me that it is wasted on you. So, if you're looking for someone with a strong work ethic, inner and outer beauty, empathy, and an abundance of love to give- please respond*.

Syncerely Yours.





*References furnished upon request.