I Resign From Being Your Door Mat!

Dear Carol,

You have met some crazy people in your life. Yes, I said crazy. Take that boyfriend who you fell crazily in love with. Was he any good for you? Yes, he worked in a hospital and he liked your children, but he couldn't wait to strip with another woman in bed, and he was always drunk to the eyeballs unless he was at work.

Then, there were all those people who you called friends!

I mean, what!?

Those people took advantage of you girl!

They came into your house, took what they could, and abused you right down to the t-shirt.

They knew you had just come out of a very toxic relationship, and they knew that you were afraid and vulnerable, and they didn't have the conscience or heart to think about how you felt. They became violent when you finally stood up to them, and they left you homeless though it didn't stop there.

It happened several times over a space of two years, and it wouldn't stop.

I'm not blaming you. You're not accountable for those people who hurt you. You're only accountable for healing.

Today is the day you resign from being everybody's door mat, and free yourself from the hauntings of the past.

No longer are you going to let people, mistreat you.

You are not a pair of shoes. Yes, I know you wear shoes to walk in, but door mats are for wiping shoes clean, not humans!

Remember that girlfriend who you met in the pub? She made you buy her drinks all night, and she always went home with someone other than you! Some girlfriend, yeah? She, really cared much, didn't she?

And, that boyfriend you met in a nightclub during one of the scariest moments of your life. He showered you with affection, bought you flowers, and even put a ring on your finger, then he split with you the day after because he had gotten another woman pregnant just before he started dating you.

No wonder you threw his beer over his head in the pub that night. Good for you, nobody can blame you for it!

Oh, and Carol!

Don't forget the dippy blonde round the corner who decided that she was every man's dream just because she was blonde, you know the one, the lady who thought she was more beautiful than you and tried stealing your husband. You went three months staying silent, listening to the bullshit that came out of her mouth, it's a good job that your husband was committed enough to speak out for you!

I have empathy with you.

Your life has not been easy. You have been bullied since you were a child, severely hurt to the point where you could no longer love yourself, and you have been exploited by nasty people down to the ground,

but listen, Carol!

Tell them to wipe their, own shoes on a doormat. Let them walk all over themselves for a change.

Let us make friends with each other again, after all, I am talking to myself, so we might as well be friends if we live in the same body!

It wasn't pleasant going through everything you went through and being treated like a pair of filthy shoes that needed cleaning. You have been used like a toy, but we are not having that anymore!

Today is the day that I, Carol, resign! No longer will I be a doormat for your smelly, ugly, shoes. They sure do love stinking my house out.

I mean Jeez, can you smell that bullshit that has been lingering in my house from the first day you wiped those filthy things on it!

My shoes smell because your shoes were so potent that every time I wiped my, own shoes on my doormat, they caught the smell of your bullshit, cowshit, horseshit, and pigshit.

Phew, that's a whole load of shit and smells I have to get rid of!

In truthfulness, I should have done this years ago.

It feels good when my whole person comes back together again, and even better that I won't need to write a resignation letter to myself in the future ever again!

It's so annoying that I have had to tell myself off for lingering in a past, that no longer serves me, and it is not healthy for my mind anymore, so one final time I will say it again.

I Carol, resign from being your doormat. Your pungent shoe smells no longer serve me, and I wish to keep my shoes clean. I no longer need your cowshit, pigshit, bullshit, or horseshit, and I will no longer be a victim of your abuse or the little piece of material you wipe your feet on. I am sure you will buy another doormat from somewhere, as there are plenty of cheap ones for sale in the shops. I do not get paid to let you walk all over yourself, and even if you offered me a million, I'd resist it. So; old Carol, this is goodbye for good, when we meet again, you will be happier and stronger for it because you will have pride and respect for yourself in ways that you never knew.

We all need change, and I will make that change. It's time we merged because there is only one Carol, and that is you.

Signed,

Carol Ann Townend.