I Don't Fit In at Work Anymore

For the last couple years, I have been working as a childcare provder at a local daycare center. It has payed my minimal bills (the car payment and insurance, cell phone bill, little bills for Hulu/Netflix, etc.). With this job, I have also had the pleasure of interacting with small children and playing a role in their early development. I have also had the pleasure of building rapport with children's families as we work together to ensure that their child is recieving the best early education while remaining in a safe, nurturing environment.

When I first began this job, I was comfortable. I enjoyed learning the various ways of interacting with children while encouraging them to learn and grow in a fun way. I enjoyed my co-workers and I felt as though I could talk with them about any and everything. Sure, there were co-workers that I did not necessarily vibe with. But for the most part, I got along with everyone fine.

Fast forward two years and four months later. I've recently finished my Master's degree program, something I worked hard on while maintaining employment with this facility. In finishing my Master's degree, I feel as though I have reached a point where I no longer feel as though I am a great match for this current job.

This is nothing against my co-workers. They have all been so sweet, and so encouraging. This is also nothing against my parents or my students. The parents have all been sweet as well, especially one of them who has been aware of my MSW (Master of Social Work) for a while now. My students are nothing short of amazing. They can be challenging at times - as most little ones can be - but they are beautiful, vibrant, smart, hilarious, all around incredible little human beings that I have enjoyed working with.

But there comes a time when change is necessary. Since late July and especially into early August, I have become increasingly uncomfortable with my job. The feeling of being an outsider in a place that was once so familiar is increasing daily. I have had a few interviews over the last few weeks, all of which seem promising; all of which seem like a potential launching pad into my (hopefully) long standing career as a social worker. As much as I have enjoyed playing a crucial role in the early development of children as an edcuator, I can feel in my mind and my heart that it is time for a change.

I think that when you begin to feel in your heart that a job is no longer right for you, it affects your ability to maintain that positive attitude and have a peaceful, productive day. As previously mentioned, I do feel in my heart that it is time for a change. A place that once brought me great joy now fills me with dread; not because of anything specific that has happened, but simply because I feel as though I am now putting on a facade. I can no longer be my happy, upbeat self in this job. I’m trying to hold on until I get a new one, so that I can leave this one and go straight to the next one without worrying about how long it’ll take to get a new one or how I will pay my bills.

However, at this rate, with this level of dissatisfaction and all around unhappiness, I may have to leave this job sooner than I want. After all, mental health comes before everything.

I pray that the change will come swiftly. I am ready for my CAREER.

Here's to change. Let's roll with it. (: