How Being a Caregiver Changed My Life

When I was growing up, I wanted to be famous. Super cliche, I know. I wanted to sing and act, win awards, and have tons of money. I think a lot of kids think that way at some point. As I hit my teenage years, I started to develop a likeness to helping people. I began volunteering and decided that instead of being famous, I wanted to help people. As I got closer to adulthood and closer to graduating high school, I felt that going to nursing school would be the next move. Well, that didn't happen. I ended up making not so good choices and was not a nice person. I had a lot of anger. Then I focused on bettering myself, it helped, but it made me have to think about what other ways I could help people that didn't require a nursing degree. I just knew I wanted to do something in healthcare.

At 19 years old, I discovered PCA work. For those of you who don't know what a PCA is, it's a Personal Care Aide. I would be working with people in the comfort of their homes and assisting them with things like bathing, medication reminders, cooking, feeding, and more. Each person I worked for had individual needs and different things they needed help with. This excited me! I would be helping people and making them happy, which in turn would make me happy. My first day was... not so great to say the least. I was nervous. I was afraid that I was going to hurt the person or doing something the wrong way. But eventually, I got used to it. I fell in love with the work, and I felt like I was truly making a difference in these people's lives. I stayed with the same company for 5 years. After working there, I decided I wanted to reach more people. Help more people.

That's when I discovered Direct Caregiving. I found a group home setting and met individuals with varying needs. There was a lot to learn, and it was very different from the PCA work I was doing. I began working with these individuals, and each one of them taught me different things. They opened new feelings for me and made me discover things about myself that I didn't even know I had. There was always something new going on, whether it was a one-to-one outing or all of us would go out as a group and do fun things together. Everything about this setting made me feel like I was making an even bigger difference. It isn't always easy though. There have been plenty of days where I'd cried in the bathroom after a difficult day or after an incident with a resident. There were days where I questioned if this was something I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

So I took a break. I wanted to try and give myself the chance to learn something new, something that I may enjoy more than caregiving. I began working in a medical records office. At first, things were exciting and I was really happy about my new job. There was a lot to learn and lot to do, but it was something different. After a few months of working there, I started to realize how dim my light became. I went from a bright, bubbly, and generally happy person, to someone I couldn't even recognize. I woke up every morning with absolute dread for going to work. I found myself slacking at work and my smile faded. My family and friends noticed how different I was and would say things to me about it. They asked what was wrong and if they could help. But no one could help me, but me. I couldn't do this anymore. So, I left. I packed up my desk and said goodbye to the sadness. It was easy to walk away from that position. The next day I called my old job back and asked if they had filled my spot yet. To my surprise it was still there waiting for me, and for the first time in what felt like a long time, I felt happy.

That same week I walked up the stairs and opened the door to the group home I had worked for so long in. A familiar aroma went through my nose, it smelled like home. I was greeted with happy and familiar faces, they were happy I was back, and I knew then and there that I made the right choice. They asked where I went and why I had left, they asked if I was going to leave again. The easy answer was, NO, I will be staying. I'm staying because not only have I gained new skills and grown as a person, but this place, these people, they became my family. They are people that I have grown to love and care for like I would my blood family. Their feelings and experiences were mine as well. Each hard day and every happy day was also mine to share. What started out as a job for me became the biggest addition to my life, and I can now confidently say that I'm here to stay. I'm here to partake in the good, the bad, the tears, the smiles, and everything in between. Being a caregiver changed my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way.