Hey, I Like Myself Today

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.”

― Charles Bukowski

I've been on a journey of self-love for quite some time now. What sparked my journey was taking this course on self-love on Udemy two years ago. I wrote about it before, but honestly when I am feeling down and in the dumps, this is what I revert back to.

But this morning, I had a thought that sparked me to write this post. Let me recap my morning a bit for you.

At 4 am, I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. I decided to write for a bit, hoping it would lull me back to sleep eventually. I chugged some cold coffee and plucked away at the computer for about an hour. Then, I packed my children's lunches for the day. That took me about ten minutes to do. I sat back down at my computer, and continued to write.

About a half an hour later, I looked at the time and decided that I would shower in the morning since I was awake. I don't typically shower in the morning, it's more of a night-time thing for me. But I was awake and decided to do so anyways.

I accidently woke my partner up at 6 am by walking into our bedroom looking for clothes. He didn't mind though as he usually gets up at 6:30 for work.

Then the rest of the house slowly began waking up. I made a fresh pot of coffee, I actively chose not to doom scroll my phone, and spent time getting ready instead. I put some of my old lavender oil on for the first time in a long time, I brushed my hair with my heated brush to dry it out after my shower, I found an old necklace that I wanted to wear but couldn't find a chain for it. And then, I spent time with my children before they all went to school and daycare. My son told me a story where he was bragging to his friends about where his mom works and how he got his awesome toque and mitts yesterday from the place I work at. It made my day.

I ran a few errands afterwards, and I walked into my house, ran to use the washroom (because you know, coffee) and I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "I like myself today."

And let me tell you, it wasn't my appearance I was thinking of when I seen myself in the mirror.

It was the way I handled this morning. Nobody was yelling, there was no fighting or pushing and shoving between my oldest two as we got out the door this morning. And I think part of that was because of the attitude I held this morning while we all got ready. I was really proud of myself and the kids today.

And what prompted me to write this post on Vocal was the thought that I had about liking myself. I am my own worst critic. Nobody is harder on me than I am to myself. But I haven't gotten very far by being harder on myself than I needed to be. Today, my attitude shifted, and I went a little easier on me. And I realized, "Hey, I am actually pretty cool."

Not every day is good, but you can look for the good in every day. It took me almost two years of rewiring my thoughts to be able to look myself in the mirror and my first thought be, "Hey, I like myself today."

If that isn't progress, I don't know what is.

Thanks for reading about my morning and the self-love progress that I have made. Today's going to be a good day, I can feel it.

Chloe Rose Violet🌹