Grateful for recovery

Dear Program of Recovery:

Thank you! Thank you for the steps you took me through to build courage, good coping skills, and strength to help me walk through the storm instead of running. You taught me how to be a better mom for my beautiful daughter. You taught me how to be a decent human being by keeping my side of the street clean.

“Trust in a higher power greater than yourself,” you told me over and over. You told me you loved me until I was able to love myself. You never gave up on me. I did!

When there was no hope left inside me, you helped carry me through with the tools you gave me. I can give my daughter a better life than I ever could imagine before. I can walk through those storms and the people of recovery are there for me when I do.

That phone can be heavy sometimes when I just want to be alone in my thoughts, but somehow through the steps and the meetings you teach me to use that phone. When YOU (the people of recovery who are my family of understanding) speak, I knew the words you said were what I needed to hear to continue to get me through each day, moment, hour, minute. You don’t give up on me.

You see, I slept in my car before, I stayed at homes with alcohol and drugs, I’ve been blacked out drunk to escape the reality I lived in. Every excuse in the book I gave. I felt alone when I felt the system failed me. When the reality of life piled up, I felt the heaviness weigh me down! The system didn’t fail me. My way of thinking did. I just needed a new shift of perspective on life which the program has taught me. I had the expectations of life throwing me a bone and owing me for what I’ve gone through but when I finally did the work on me, I realized it was me. I didn’t trust you to help me. I did just fine on my own or so I thought.

You taught me humbleness! You helped my child get the mother she deserves. You taught me how to love people without any expectations and that it’s okay to not have it all together. It’s progress, not perfection. I couldn’t ignore my past nor did I wish to shut the door on it. I just use it as a learning tool for growth. The guidance you provided me was more than I bargained for. You gave me hope! You gave me a new environment for my daughter.

Now, instead of sitting in my wishful thinking and dreaming, I now take the baby steps to get to where I need to when I get stuck. I walked into those room with my whole life upside and you worked with me without judgment and accept me for who I am. An alcoholic! Some people don’t understand why or how, but you do. Now I can help others! I can be a good friend, a great mother, an active daughter, a humble human being.

I will be eternally grateful to this wonderful program and the people in it! I wish more people had this program and support you provided millions of people. If you are feeling lost and alone, please find a program of recovery near you. Don’t leave before the miracle happens. Just for today, everyday! Keep coming back! It works if you work it!

People of the recovery program, thank you for what you teach me today!

A grateful recovering alcoholic

Jessica D