Giving up Practicality

I have sent in my resignation a couple of times and rescinded it because it doesn’t seem practical to say no more practicality. But what is practical? Is there a reason for it besides whatever people think or say? I don’t know. Maybe I have been exploring keeping it and letting it go for a long time. At least since I became an adult.

A little background on me: both my parents had little regard to saving money by the time I knew them. My grandparents grew up with the depression and believed in savings. My parents were the kind of people who told me things like I could do anything I wanted. I swear they meant it. Because my dad would tout that he could create anything he wanted by a request. My mom said you could be an artist, a personal trainer, and anything else I was currently curiously committed to doing.

As an adult I thought my parents were impractical and I scrimped and saved every dollar. It wasn’t until I meet Matt that I started to dream of traveling. He woke up the explorer in me. Since we were both dating other people, we stopped talking. A semester later he was single and actively flirting with a girl in front of me but icing me out. He saw me with the guy I had been dating, thought I was still with him, and was understandably pissed off.

I found myself dying to escape my feelings so I choose to dive into the savings and throw all those pennies into a semester abroad. Australia would be my new home because money isn’t a problem when heartache is ruling your world.

Three months later I am fulfilled by exploring museums, the capital, and the barrier reef. My heart has been melted by a trip to New Zealand to see the Waitomo caves. When I am back home, I work on paying the loan back. It will take me about nine years to do it and it was grueling.

I decided to swear off just doing whatever I felt could be a costly endeavor that took a long time to pay back. Yet the bug of want versus paycheck will hit me again. This time it’s a small mistake called a long standing dream triggered by an alarm clock.

In 2014, I said I wanted to go to Paris in winter potentially for New Years. The funds got in the way and I headed to Vancouver Canada because it was affordable.

Five years later I am living my practical life and doing whatever is within budget while barely squeaking by. My alarm clock is playing Chainsmokers every morning while my depression increases. A good friend asks if anything has changed. I said my alarm clock plays music now. And it hits me that I am not staying in Paris.

The bank account says no, but my heart strings are saying yes. After a week long debate, I find a ticket for Rome round trip that works. A job comes in to cover that bill. So I look at Paris tickets which is followed up with a week extension. And then I book a trip to Colorado.

I felt crazy because everything in my body said I had to and I was waiting for all the money to fall into place. When March of 2020 hit, I felt so much better about those yeses as it would be about two years before I would travel again.

I ended up saying yes to hiking the PCT in 2021 as there wasn’t much work for me. And I figured I wouldn’t get sick. The following year I was heart broken and booked myself to hike the Camino in Spain.

I felt nuts and impractical for following my heart. When I finally admitted to planning a epic hike over a boy, people said “I wish I did that when my heart was broken.” And I laughed because I thought sane and practical was eating ice cream, watching Netflix, and joining weight watchers.

My life based on what makes me happy included seeing every Meow Wolf in a year. Going to every concert that moves me. Saying yes to every trip that could fit in the schedule.

I realized I enjoy my friends joining me with bubble guns, running off to fairs, and looking at where they want to travel with me. What is life for if your not heading to the beach, hopping on a plane, and seeking your favorite foods and friends like it’s life best quest.

Maybe it would be practical to stay home without the tiaras. Maybe it would be practical to save up and skip the Taylor Swift concert. Maybe it would be practical to say no to cruises, Palm Springs, and every trip of my dreams.

And maybe, just maybe, practicality is overrated. Here is my official resignation from doing everything that is practical, everything that I am supposed to, because I am ready to say yes to everything I want to do.