From Zero to Every Car: One Driver’s Ultimate Test Drive

The name is an exaggeration, though I have driven a lot of cars. Working for a dealership, I drive all sorts of makes, models, and years. This article is an alphabetical list of my take on the makes that are worthy of note, either negatively or positively.

1. Alfa Romeo

We’ve taken a couple of Giulia's in on trade, and for an automatic, it’s one of my favorite cars to drive. I’ll always go for a manual first, but when you’re using the paddle shifters in the Giulia, it makes all the right noises. I call it the mini Ferrari—the Giulia is good looking, it's civilized, the note is absolutely spot on (good throttle response and a hint of turbo lag, and that beautiful exhaust note just pushes the entire thing over the top with me). If I were wealthy, I'd be definitely putting one in my garage, because I'd either be buying a new one with a warranty or preparing to pay the huge mechanic costs associated with having a finicky Italian car. I am genuinely surprised that Stellates is the parent company of the Giulia and the new Dodge Hornet. The driving experiences are polar extremes.

The only area the Giulia falls short is the usable interior room. Your friends will be wretched on a cross-country road trip. For a car approximately the same size as the roomy Subaru WRX, available in the United States for only two generations as a sedan, the Giulia truly falls short in this area.

Overall rating: 8/10

2. BMW

Terribly overhyped. I was impressed at how highly BMW scored with Consumer Reports. Everything is a gimmick in a BMW—the head unit doesn't work because it's so disorienting, the seat belts grope out and touch you (Why do we need to tamper with the purpose of seat belts? Some things are better left alone. Let's set this note aside for when I hit Tesla). The SUVs are uncharismatic and the really fun ones are out of reach of most people, unless you’re one of those people who enjoys spending half their income on a car note.

Where I can praise BMW is their performance drive mode. The stiff suspension and quick throttle likely make it drive beautifully on the Nürburgring. If I were racing these cars, they'd be wonderful, but they are awful daily drivers.

Overall rating: 5/10

3. Genesis

No other car brand has restored itself to the point of complete redemption in my opinion. I'm a longtime Hyundai-hater. I hate them. They're automobiles for people who hate having an automobile, and then they end up with a Hyundai, and they resent automobiles even more. Add that to my family's history of problems with a 1980-whatever Accent with a twice-replaced transmission, and I had completely written them off. Until I test-drove a car from Hyundai's luxury division, the Genesis GV70.

I can use the headrest as a pillow. The seats are like sitting on a cloud. There are only two car brands in this world that can make seats that don't hurt my back: Subaru and Genesis. All the others hurt it within ten minutes or less.

The GV70 has just the right amount of power and nice suspension. They are a joy to drive, and I can only imagine how great they are for roundtrips (my friend drove one over a ginormous speed bump and we barely even felt it).

My only problems with Genesis are the price tag and construction quality. They don't last longer than five years, and no one should be paying upwards of $60,000 for a car that does not last two or three years. I also have difficulty justifying spending that much on a bloody Hyundai.

Overall rating: 8/10

4. Jeep

Jeep seems to hold to the old adage that, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. The bad part of that philosophy for Jeep is that they're perpetually broke.

I so badly wish I could love Jeep. I prefer the Grand Cherokee for how much more it is. The interior on the higher trim levels is well done, maybe a little too much so with the wood paneling on the dashboard and quilted leather on the doors. But they're beautiful interiors, nevertheless. I'd rank them above Mercedes and Maserati in terms of effort, and the electronics are much simpler to use as well.

The Grand Wagoneer and Grand Cherokee come with a whole lot of really nice features like massage seats and air suspension, which make these cars not something you'd want to own when they are out of warranty. The more complicated a car is, the more things can go wrong.

I appreciate the Gladiator and Wrangler for what they are but they're too pricey. For some reason Jeep has evolved from a brand that is positioned for the outdoor-loving American middle class and turned into a luxury brand, or is at least positing itself as one. Wrangler is not a luxury car, however, and it's only really good at doing one thing: rock crawling. It's a vehicle that does not handle on the road, and has thus become, at its current price point, a vehicle that only someone very wealthy would purchase as a second vehicle.

Overall rating: 6/10

5. Maserati

Maserati is one of the biggest disappointments on this list. The Quattroporte actually drives and handles like an older Buick, and short of already having money to burn in order to stay warm, its horrible depreciation ensures that I would never consider buying one for myself. Add to that the reliability issues and bad name recognition, and I have no idea why anybody buys these cars in the first place. I liked the quilted leather seats, but if I ever were to purchase a sporty Italian car, I'd start with the Alfa Romeo.

Overall rating: 5/10

6. Subaru

Subaru does things the old-fashioned way and they have been for a long time, which is part of the reason that it's my first brand to consider. They were putting boxer engines in planes in the 1940s (let's not discuss what that was). My 1986 Subaru has a boxer engine and my 2025 does as well. Subaru takes Jeep's mantra of why fix it if it ain't broke and actually produces things that ain't broke.

That's why the 2025 Forester is the top rated Consumer Reports SUV ever. It is quiet, comfortable, fuel efficient, and pleasing to me. It holds its value so well that leaders actually get a little money back when they're finished with it. The quality for the price can't be beat. Toyota, Hyundai, Honda, etc., all seem cheap in comparison to it for the same price. Subaru consistently outscored Toyota in reliability this year too because Toyota recalled hundreds of thousands of engines nobody can repair because there are no parts to be found.

Subaru does make cars for enthusiasts, too. They're one of the last companies that still offer a manual transmission in the US. I haven't found a Subaru yet that I didn't enjoy. And, as mentioned previously, they're one of two companies that don't strain my back.

Overall rating: 10/10

7. Tesla

I wanted to dislike Tesla, and in areas, I do. I definitely dislike Elon Musk.

I've already told you I don't like gimmicks on cars. Standardization is not so bad when you are driving a car that weighs in the thousands and goes up to highway speeds. The door handles, for example, don't function. As a woman, I have to grumble because the last thing I would be wanting to be doing if I'm trying to escape some weirdo in a car park is messing around with the unpleasantly-designed flat door handle, but justice is justice, Tesla are made for men who never even talk to women.

The first time I sat in a Tesla, it took me five minutes to figure out how to drive the thing. Longer to figure out how to plug in my phone, which does nothing because A) I cannot use CarPlay because it doesn't have that and B) I cannot use Apple Music because Elon has some grudge against Apple, and longer still to figure out how to adjust the air and mirrors.

With a Tesla, you are forced to look at an iPad instead of the road. Even the turn signals are gimmicks; on some models, they are steering-wheel buttons. And with all the glass on the Model Y, the sun visor is miserably thin and somehow also disorienting because it is mounted magnetically. We don't have to remake the simple nature of a car just because it is electric.

But I love renting Tesla. They always leave me grinning, and I laugh at least once with every one of them that I ride. The power and performance are perfect, and they rev like spaceships. I hate to dislike Tesla, but I just can't.

Except the Cybertruck. I hate nothing more than Cybertruck.

Overall rating: 4/10

Conclusion

I adore when a car makes me feel as impressed as the Genesis did. I still have my all-time favorites, but I adore being impressed with something new. Cars have been my thing for a decade and a half. Appreciate your reading, and I hope you've enjoyed these insights.