Finding Joy in all the Chaos

Life...what comes to mind when that word is said. A baby in the womb, kids laughing and playing. The list goes on. But growing up how many times were you told life isn't a bunch of sunshine and rainbows'. Or when you wanted something really bad, and after being told no you say in your whiniest voice "that's not fair" and your parents reply with the statement "that's life".. Well, they weren't wrong. That is life. Let me tell you a little bit about mine...I love art and everything that makes me use my brain to create and it's all because my mother was a very creative woman. Now I didn't always love creating. See when I was six my mother introduced me to knitting and boy let me tell you it was rough! The stitches would fall off the needle then get all twisted. I would knit in the wrong place, I had a hard time holding the needles. On top of all that I wasn’t working the pattern right. My mom ended up pulling it all out; I started over about a million times! Finally, the project was complete. I had made a multi-colored scarf. My mother made a purse to match. But me being the age that I was; I gave up on knitting and my mother continued to create without me. By the time I was in third grade my mom donated to charity for my elementary school. She knitted 100 scarfs all by herself! Way to go mom right! When I was ten my mother came and asked if I’d like to learn how to crochet. She told me it was easier than knitting so I decided to give it a shot. Turns out it was very easy. At that time I preferred to crochet because it was faster than knitting. My first crochet project was called a ruffle scarf. Its main color was white and the contrast was tan. I made it right; in the end I had no mistakes (my mother made sure of it).

After making that scarf I felt good, like I could accomplish anything, like being able

to create my own designs, write my own patterns and sell them which is what I do now. So far I have given you the background of my life. I bet you're wondering where the chaos in life is...well... December 2018, homeless, cold, hungry and tired. My family and I sat in the comfort of our car in the post-office parking lot trying to decide what to do now that my step-dad has lost his job and we have been evicted. We would have spent the night in that car parked outside the post office. My mother suggested we call her mom for help and my step-dad readily agreed. Now, up in Grass Valley we ate a delicious meal made by my grams and slept like babies in her very warm comfortable home. My grams assisted us with storage for our belongings and aided us as much as she could. During this time my grandmother bought me some yarn. I made a lovely size medium Brick-red Summer's dress. So far out of the two dresses I have made this one is the best. We didn't stay long at my grandmother's. With her living in a senior area she was only allotted a few guests for about 60 days, and then, they had to leave. So we did. My mother became very ill, and with me being 17 my step-dad kicked me out and dropped me off near my grandmother’s house. I stay with her for about 3 months and then she sends me to my aunt in Citrus Heights. Life became scary and hard; stressful too. I found myself crying more often than I did most of the thirteen years living with my step-dad and my family and back then I CRIED. But once 2019 came I hollered and balled my eyes out. I was miserable and I felt very alone in this world. Things started to look up by 2020. I won first place in my art class; I drew a hummingbird. On January 18, 2020 I was invited by my co-worker to a women's march down-town Sacramento. I was super excited. She told me I could sell my handmade projects that I knitted and crocheted. I invited my biological father whom I recently reunited with after thirteen years and my aunt. It was amazing. My first time at a women's march and my first time selling publicly. It was a good day. I gave out about 100 flyers and brochures. Sold quite a few products; it would have been so much more if I had a partner and more time to crochet. Being creative helps my life because I can use it to escape reality and life's everyday roller-coaster of stress. I can start my own business by knitting, crocheting and sewing clothes for infants, children, teens and adults. Art is my passion. Art is my peace, my escape, the light at the end of a tunnel. Art keeps the memory of my mother alive; because without art more than a piece of her would be gone. Art is my joy through all the chaos life brings.