Final “To Do” List

To Whom It May Concern:

As of Sunday, May 25, 2025, I officially, and unapologetically, resign from the position of “mental hoarder.”

I will no longer endure the endless hours or worry, stress, and planning that have plagued my every night for months. From the moment my head hits the pillow, a torrent of uncertainty arises as my mind runs through the looming expectations and demands of the upcoming days. Sunday nights are the worst.

Why can’t I get _______ to stop throwing things across the room? It’s like write-ups have no effect on him.

What am I even teaching tomorrow?

Ugh, I forgot to make my lunch. Will I have enough time in the morning?

Did I make enough copies for this week?

Oh no, I forgot to email _______’s mom back.

Did I even finish my lesson plans?

“To Do” list:

• Check lesson plans
• Make lunch
• Email Mrs. _______
• Find a new behavior strategy for 7th grade
• Create slides for the next lesson
• …

No matter how confident I feel in my preparations, my mind will not allow me to drift peacefully off to sleep, but instead revels in my restlessness. A jumble of questions and concerns fight for my attention as I stare aimlessly into the hollow blackness of my eyelids.

Did I send a birthday card to Aunt _______?

We’re running out of soap. I need to put it on the grocery list.

Why do I keep assigning essays?! They take sooo long to grade?

Oh, I forgot to defrost the chicken for dinner tomorrow!

I hope ______ doesn’t fall asleep in class again.

“To Do” list (continued)

• Add soap to grocery list
• Defrost chicken
• Simplify essay grading process
• Email _______’s parents about sleeping in class
• …

I have tried before to organize my ideas and feelings, my worries and opinions. Compartmentalization… how do people do it? My inner boxes, drawers, and rooms can only hold my myriad of thoughts for so long before the lids come off and the doors fly open. Once again, giving way to the haphazard parade of contemplations that carry into the night.

I am so behind on grading! Maybe I can finish the vocabulary tests during planning tomorrow.

Don’t forget to create the permission slip for the 8th grade field trip.

I should really clean out my closet. There are some clothes I haven’t worn in a long time.

Pretty sure I need an oil change.

Oh no, that’s right, I can’t grade the vocabulary tests tomorrow. I have that meeting during planning.

Ahh, that meeting! Did I finish filling out the paperwork? _______ would have let me know if I didn’t, right?

Ugh, why did I choose a new book for our novel study? Now, I have to make all new resources or pay a bunch of money on Teachers Pay Teachers.

“To Do” list (ongoing)

• Check meeting document
• Grade vocabulary tests (eventually! Tuesday, maybe?)
• Create permission slip, get it checked by the office, make copies, get them sent out by Wednesday, and collect them by next week
• Go to meeting during planning time
• Check oil change hours and prices
• Create question sheets and quizzes for novel study
• Clean closet? (Yeah, right! Don’t have time for that now.)
• …

The position of “mental hoarder” would not be so challenging, if it were not for the fatigue, sleeplessness, second guessing, unwelcome timing, and overall anxiety that accompanies it. Hanging on to precious memories of family and friends is a beneficial aspect of cerebral stashing; however, it’s all too often interrupted by the mundane, intrusive reminders of the here and now…or tomorrow…or next week.

When is that assembly again? Thursday? So, that pushes back the review, oh, and the test also. Should I really give the test on Monday then? Will they even study at that point?

I should have found a video for tomorrow’s lesson.

Isn’t the staff potluck on Tuesday? Guess I have to go to the store after school tomorrow. What was I making again? Some kind of dessert, I think. I’ll have to check my Pinterest in the morning.

Why does ________’s mom keep emailing about his grade? It’s an A-, he’s doing fine!

“To Do” list (time consuming)

• Buy potluck stuff
• Email Ms. _________ - tell her he’s doing fine
• Find text structures video
• Adjust lesson plans (Add extra review day? So, test will be next Tuesday?)
• Make potluck dessert
• …

People have asked me, “What about music? Would music help your mind relax?” Ah, the double-edged sword of music! Occasionally, the gentle cadence of melodic tones can lure my thoughts back into their chambers…but only briefly, because even the mellow rhythms cannot resist jumping into the nightly festivities.

The yearbook is due next week, but we still don’t have the sports pictures, and the club pages aren’t done! What if we don’t get it finished in time?

🎶 “Wish we could turn back time to the good old days…but now we’re stressed out.” 🎶

We also have to plan an activity for Student Government this month? A holiday celebration? Fundraiser? Class competition? We’ll probably have to get supplies for whatever the club decides.

🎶 “…now we’re stressed out.” 🎶

Oh and, how did I forget testing is coming up?! Have I covered everything the kids will need to know? What if half of them bomb the test? Feel like I’m already failing them and we haven’t even got to the test!

🎶 “…STRESSED OUT!” 🎶

“To Do” list (never-ending!)

• Email Athletic Director about photos
• Finish yearbook club pages
• Discuss Student Government activities with _________ and figured out necessary supplies
• Find or make standardized testing review
• Finish grading essays and vocabulary tests
• Create end-of-novel project
• Update weekly slides
• Send weekly parent email
• …plus about a hundred other things!!

I understand that some people may see my plight as mere complaining, and they have a right to think that. My only concern at this point, though, is thinking as little as possible to relieve my cluttered brain. As a result, I now tender my resignation from the position of “mental hoarder” to recapture my mental autonomy.

Final “To Do” list!

• Resignation letter