Dear Rational

Dear Rational,

Do you know what I just did?

I just uploaded a YouTube video.

Do you hear me?

Let me tell you a story. The story of a fifteen year old, his brothers, and a dream.

It was the distant year of 2008 and there was this fairly new website that just sorta popped up. YouTube. Ever heard of it? Well 15 year old me instantly fell in love. From the sketch comedy of Tomska to the crazy music videos of MysteryGuitarMan to the theories of MatPat, I knew I had found a website I could call home.

As you remember, it felt like such a good fit that my brothers and I started our own channels. The picture above is from a 16 year old video we made as a parody of an already running YouTube series. The "How to be" series from a creator named "Nigahiga."

It was a really good time, little did I know that it would be the first time of many. Not making sense? Well, maybe because something stopped me. Something in the back of my head. You. Your voice whispered,

"You should grow up."

And as a teen who wanted to grow up so badly, it made sense, I stopped making videos and focused on other things. You had won...

Until...

Eight years later I found myself in a much different place. An engaged, new home owner, and I at least seemed more grown up. It felt like time to chase this dream again.

I actually took a free online class and spent a little bit of time working on these videos. The problem is, your voice came back, and quickly too.

"You should work on more important things."

I was part of a business that demanded a lot of time and money. A business that ended up costing me quite a bit of both time and money in the end, but back then, it made sense.

That's the scary part, both times your voice whispered to me, it made a lot of sense. You honestly make a lot of sense.

When I was a teen, I wanted to grow up, and I didn't see a lot of "grown ups" doing YouTube. When I was engaged and buying a house I was surrounded by the people in a business that pushed you further into the business... and away from other ventures.

This time I gave up after only two videos...

Welcome to 2025. I find myself back at it! I have been at it for four months now and it is going great! Have I made it big yet? Absolutely not. Am I getting many views at all? Eh, kind of. Am I having fun? 100%.

So what changed? Aside from the fact that I have a lot more to talk about and video ideas are a lot easier to come up with? I learned to listen for you.

You thought I was going to say that I learned to stop listening to you? No. I don't deal with problems like that. I won't be avoiding you, I don't actually want you to leave. You are "rational" and truly very useful, just not for achieving dreams.

I like to think I am a practical man. Living in Florida we get hurricanes. After we got hit hard by Hurricane Ian I prepped more for future storms. After owning a car that leaked oil I always keep oil in my trunk, just in case I get stuck. Heck! I already started buying presents for Christmas! It's May!

Those things come from your voice,

"You live in a hurricane prone zone, you should buy back-up batteries."

"Don't destroy your engine, bring oil with you."

"Things are expensive, if you want your kids to have a nice Christmas, buy now."

Your voice is typically a good thing. It keeps me out of trouble, it keeps me safe. So I am not angry with you, and I will not be shutting you out, but I do have to say this.

You are not useful for achieving dreams.

I am sorry. Sorry that I have to stop listening to you in this particular department, but consider this my official letter of resignation. Maybe I should make it more formal;

Dear Rational,

Being grown up is not as "grown up" as I thought it would be. Actually, a strange thing I learned about being a grown up is that it is as "grown up" as you want it to be.

Doing the business that everyone else was doing around me may have been a good idea. Thank you for talking me into sticking around until I knew for sure that it wasn't for me.

You kept me safe, but this journey I want to take is not safe. It will put me out in the open and I will probably be hurt. I know that commenters can be rough, but I want this more than I care about the possible pain.

Rational, I resign from listening to you...

(In this one particular area)

Sincerely,

David B.